


It Started In The Cafeteria

by genericprofilename



Category: Sonic X, Sonic the Hedgehog (Archie Comic), Sonic the Hedgehog (Comics), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Amy Rose POV, Angst, Anxiety, Best Friends, Blaze Is Asexual, But Not Here For Sally Acorn Hate, Developing Friendships, Dorks in Love, Drama and Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Female Friendship, First Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Highschool AU, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love Triangles, Male-Female Friendship, Maria is a hedgehog, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Multi Chapter, Multiple Pairings, POV Female Character, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Tails is Trans, Teen Romance, Tikal Is Bisexual, Tikal and Knuckles are siblings, highschool, teen drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2020-02-27 18:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 78,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18744808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericprofilename/pseuds/genericprofilename
Summary: When sixteen year-old Amy Rose and her family moved from Mobius City to small-town Station Square, she was prepared for homework, pop-quizzes, and Friday nights spent at home watching reruns of cheesy sitcoms. Resigned to being a spectator in her own life, living vicariously through romantic novels and movies, she never once anticipated the wild and wonderful world of SS Highschool, its colourful characters, friendship, drama, misadventures, and (maybe-sorta-kinda) romance with a certain blue hedgehog.Highschool AU / (ft Sonamy, Knouge, Taismo, Silvaze, Shadia)





	1. First Glance

**Author's Note:**

> This is a not-for-profit fanwork. All characters are the property of their respective copyright holders.

Some people believe that Hell is a fiery pit, where you're eaten in a fiery pit while the Devil's high-pitched laughter echoes in your ears. Or else they believe that it's an infinite abyss, dark and deep and miserable. Others think that it's a dungeon of torment and suffering. Jean-Paul Sartre, this old emo French guy, even claimed that Hell was 'other people'

Well, I can assure you all that the reality is nowhere near as dramatic – though old Jean-Paul, I'll concede, had a point. Hell isn't a blazing inferno, an endless tunnel, or even the most barbaric of prisons ... No. Hell was standing alone in the middle of the cafeteria, clutching a laden plastic tray, looking out into a sea of unfamiliar faces, feeling more and more self conscious by the second.

I was quickly realising that being the new girl _sucked_.

I scanned the perimeter of the room, brow furrowed. How was it possible that literally every single table in this godforsaken room was taken? At Mobius High, my old school, the classes had different lunch periods, making it easy to find an empty chair at an empty table where I could eat sub-par cheesy pasta in peace and finish up whatever piece of maths homework that I'd negected to do in favour of binge-watching Friends re-runs. _Bliss._

Unfortunately for me, Station Sqaure High was smaller, which meant that everybody in every class had the same lunch-break. Every table that I looked at was full of teenagers finishing up their homework, exchanging gossip in between mouthfuls of pizza, or showing each other memes or messages on their phones and laughing. Anybody else – literally anybody else would have been able to suck it up, slap on a smile, approach a table, and make conversation for fifty-five minutes. Sure it might be a tad awkward, but they'd survive it, and everyday they'd try again, until they eventually found their soul-sister/brother/sibling-or-gender-neutral-equivilent. But my feet, in their battered secondhand Converse, were like lead. My heart was hammering under my red sweater, so loudly that I was sure that everybody could hear it, making them notice me.

 _This is going to be the longest lunch period of my life_ I thought mournfully, already counting down the minutes until Maths. God, you knew things were bad when quadratic equations were beginning to look appealing. I decided to assess my options.

1\. Find a kindly-looking teacher and pretend that I feel sick: Not bad, but sadly I was not a good actress – far from it. I'd spent my elementary/middle-school days playing a rotating selection of trees, bushes, and once, memorably, a shepherd with a stripy-tea towel on my head in a Nativity Play. Of course this could have been because my teachers were taking pity on my crippling shyness by not casting me in important roles with lots of lines, but it also could have been that I had the authenticity of Tommy Wiseau when onstage.

2\. Call Mum and beg for a lift home: Great in theory, but made impossible by the fact that she was working and we didn't own a car.

3\. Hide in the library until the bell rang: Tried that. The library was closed at lunchtime, unless you were a senior or had a note from a teacher.

4\. Sit at down at the closest empty chair, which was right next to a badger with "Cool Story Babe, Now Make Me A Sandwich" printed on his t-shirt: Ha ha, _no_.

Or I could just drop my tray and run out the glass doors, not stopping until I reach the new house on the other side of town. This was certainly tempting, but it fell into the category of 'making a spectacle of myself'. I knew that I couldn't stay at home forever. I'd have to leave the sanctuary of off-brand cereal and Netflix eventually, and when I did return, I'd forever be branded as "The Weird New Girl Who Ran Away From School That One Time For No Good Reason. I wasn't even sure how exactly to get to the new house, and as small as Station Square was, especially compared to Mobius City, I didn't want to risk getting lost. I probably should have paid attention on the bus ride over, but I was too busy biting my nails, agonising over my outfit, and thinking about every little thing that could go wrong on my first day.

Actually, my day had been uneventful so far. I'd sat at the back of each classroom and doodled on my notebooks while my teachers droned on about mitosis and the formation of the subjunctive tense. If I could get through the next forty-eight minutes without embarrassing myself, the day would actually be a success by my standards. I tightened my grip on my lunch-tray, weighed down by a tofu burger, wedges, and a cereal bar, all balanced precariously on top of my well-thumbed copy of 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince'. I'd brought it with me in order to appear like less of a socially inept wreck and maybe create some sort of 'mysterious intelligent lone-wolf' vibe instead, which could only be a step up. 'Harry Potter' probably wasn't the best choice, but I figured that bringing along 'Jane Eyre' or 'Pride and Prejudice' would have made me even more of a cliche. I'd practically be inviting some brooding loner misfit bad-boy sporting a leather jacket and guyliner to approach me and start quoting Shakespearean sonnets at me, and we'd fall madly and passionately in love in spite of all of the odds stacked against us.

I involuntarily shuddered at the thought. Dear God, I hoped not. The sheer awkwardness of the situation would probably kill me.

Still, at least in that scenario someone would have been making an effort to talk to me. I let out a little sigh. Nah. It wasn't fair for me to begrudge these strangers for not rolling out the Welcome Wagon when I wasn't making any effort to integrate myself.

Deep breath.

I took a tentative step towards the rows and rows of plastic tables, when I felt something come up behind me and tap me on the shoulder. I reflexively let out a little squeal and spun around, almost dropping my tray in the process. I was suddenly staring into a pair of startlingly blue eyes, framed by long waves of blonde hair held back with a blue Alice Band.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry about that!" the girl in front of me wailed.

I felt a lurch in my stomach. Shit. "Oh no! It's my fault, sorry, you just surprised me!" I stammered. "I was about to sit down, and - well - yeah, I was sitting down here and - you just scared me, I got scared and -" _You're rambling Amelia. You're rambling, you're annoying her, why do you fucking bother_ -  _?_ "I didn't expect ... I was by myself." I finished pathetically.

"That's actually why I came over here." The girl told me, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I took in her appearance. She was tall hedgehog and extremely pretty. She had a lithe form which she carried well - shoulders back, tummy in, chin up. She was dressed simply in blue jeans and a white-lace long-sleeved top. The whole effect was rather Summery. It almost made up for the rather miserable October weather outside. "So, you're new here - I don't know if you noticed but we're in the same English class. Well, my friends and I saw you standing here, and we figured since you're new, you might not know anyone and that maybe you'd like to sit with us ...?"

Her invitation hung in the air for a couple of seconds before I processed what she was saying. A warm flush ran over my face. Oh God ... people have seen me standing alone and they feel sorry for me so they sent some poor girl over to include me.

(But isn't that what I'd been hoping would happen? That someone would notice me, make an effort with me?)

"Oh, well, I wouldn't want to bother anyone - " I stammered, shrinking back slightly from this ultraviolet girl.

(This is real though. It's very different from theoretical wishful thinking)

"You wouldn't!" she insisted, cutting me off. "In fact, it would be our pleasure!"

"Oh ... That's, yeah, that's really sweet of you to do." (Stop! End this now!) "I - If you're sure I wouldn't be bothering anyone..." (That's not what I meant! Abort! Abort!)

"Trust me, you won't. My friends are cool!" The statement didn't exactly calm me down – in fact, it did the exact opposite and succeeded in making me feel even more nervous. Every cell inside my body was screaming, telling me to run, spectacle be damned. But the girl was staring at me expectantly. It would be surely more awkward to back down now, right?

I managed a small smile, which the girl rewarded with one of her own. She led me past the rows of tables, waving at people, exchanging a brief, but animated, greeting with a couple of them, smiling all the way. I followed her like a strange little shadow in comparison, trying to talk myself through breathing – Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

"So, if I remember correctly you have a flowery name?"

"Yeah - I'm Amelia Rose. I'm so sorry, I don't remember - ?"

"My name's Maria. Maria Robotnik."

"Oh ... that's really pretty."

"Thank you! My parents fell in love at a drive-through screening of 'West Side Story'."

"Oh … that's really sweet! Very, um, retro."

Maria seemed to have stopped listening – she bounced over to the very back of the cafeteria where three tables had been pushed together to accommodate the large group that was gathered there. I took them in; two echidnas, male and female, seemed to be bickering about something, while a glamorous bat watched them, toying with her yogurt.. A yellow fox with two tails, a cute rabbit with big brown eyes and a seedrian in a sweater dress were being tested by a bespectacled lavender cat, who was reading from colourful notecards. Excluding Maria and myself, there were three other hedgehogs, all male. A silver one raised his hand in a shy semi-wave, exposing a small cyan circular tattoo on the palm. There was a black-and-red hedgehog who looked like the real-life version of Brooding Fantasy Bad-Boy, including the guyliner which framed his piercing crimson eyes. On his other side was the third hedgehog. He had cobalt blue fur, and peach skin around his muzzle, and was looking at his phone and laughing at something on it.

"Everyone!" said Maria, clapping her hands together excitedly. "I am proud to present Miss Amelia Rose!"

Of course, having managed to avoid making a spectacle of myself, I was being made into a spectacle by somebody else. "Um ... hi!" I said, raising my hand awkwardly. I could feel that my palms were sweaty and I quickly lowered my hand, closing it into a fist by my side. "I'm new here."

A couple of them looked at me with mild interest and a couple of smiles. Maria slid onto a seat beside the black-furred hedgehog, pecking him swiftly on the cheek before looking back at me. "Amelia, I'd like you to meet everyone! On the far side we have Cream, Cosmo, Miles - "

"Please Maria, call me Tails!" the fox huffed, his tails twitching. 

"Sorry - _Tails_. Blaze, and Silver."

"Welcome to Station Square High!" Cream beamed. Cosmo smiled beside her. Blaze nodded at me before looking back down at the note-cards.

"In front of Silver there's Rouge, then Knuckles, Tikal, Shadow, and Sonic!" Upon hearing his name, the cobalt hedgehog turned around to face me, mid-laugh. I was instantly hit by a pair of green eyes, looking directly into mine. And - 

_Oh._

_There you are._

My breath hitched suddenly in my throat. The involuntary sensation reminded me of my physical presence and I blinked in surprise, causing everything to shift suddenly around me, falling back into place. Sonic smiled at me - an easy, friendly, casual smile that was unnerving in its ordinariness. I quickly diverted my attention to the ground, before anybody noticed me staring at the guy whose name I'd only just learned.

(Especially since any of these girls could be dating him)

(Or any of the guys)

(Or he could be ace)

(I must stop making so many heteronormative assumptions)

(Blame it on my first-day nerves. Or hormones. Or hell, blame it on both)

"So, it's Amelia right?" the bat - Rouge - asked me, one eyebrow raised.

They were all looking at me. Ten pairs of eyeballs, all fixed on me. It occurred to me that I hadn't been on show directly in front of so many strangers since my final role as Tree No.5 in my middle school production of The Wizard of Oz. Now I was Dorothy, thrust into tecnnicolour Munchkinland, with no idea how I'd ended up there or what I was going to do. Was it to late to drop my tray and run? 

I glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. Thirty-two minutes until Maths. I could handle that, couldn't I? New school, new start. I took a deep breath - 1, 2, 3 - and put on a my best approximation of an easygoing smile. "Call me Amy. Amy Rose."


	2. No Spoilers

I honestly don't know what I was expecting to happen. Did I think they'd all take one look at me and erupt into fits of laughter? Or just ignore me completely? Maybe they'd start throwing food at me - who knew? I'd imagine that part of me was hoping that this would all turn out to be some sort of ridiculous fever dream and that I'd wake up under my duvet in the box room of our old house, far far away from well-meaning blondes and cobalt blue hedgehogs with nice smiles.

But I do know what I wasn't expecting to happen. It was the one thing that did end up happening. Figures.

"Hey!"

"Sup?"

"Nice to meet you!"

"I love your jeans!"

I pulled my tray closer to my body, like a barrier, and threw an agonised glance at Maria, who was sitting so close to Shadow that she was practically perched on his lap. He seemed to notice my gaze, because he nodded in my general direction, but his eyes were on Maria. She pressed the side of her head against his forehead for a second, before catching a glimpse of me and smiling sheepishly. In spite of my anxiety the fangirl within me wanted to squeal.

"This is my boyfriend, Shadow. He's a Junior.” she explained. "So are Knuckles and Rouge. Sonic, Silver, and Blaze are in our grade, and Tikal, Cosmo, Cream, and Miles - Tails, sorry - are Freshmen."

The latter trio smiled at me. Cosmo, the seedrian, had leafy green hair, extremely pale skin, and turquoise eyes framed by the best winged eyeliner that I have ever seen outside an aesthetic tumblr-girl blog. Her head was resting on Cream's shoulder - the cute bunny with big brown eyes. Miles/Tails was the scruffy-haired fox in a gamer shirt. He grinned at me, exposing a set of train tracks.

"Don't suppose you're any good at History? We've a test after lunch and we're in serious need of help."

Blaze rolled her eyes. "What exactly have I been trying to do for the last half hour? That's the last time Iet you guys revise with my colour coded notes." she huffed, gathering up her cards.

"That's what you said last time." Tails said.

"And the time before that." Cosmo added.

"And before -"

Her deadpan expression silenced them. Tails cleared his throat and turned back to me.

"So Amy, what do you say?"

"Tails! Let the girl sit down first!" the glamorous bat scolded. She turned to look at me, her icy blue eyes raking over my outfit. Though they were far from designer, I said a quick prayer of thanks that my red sweater was clean and that I wasn't wearing my faded threadbare pair of jeans or, God forbid, the ones with patches.

"Red suits you." The bat decided, her expression softening slightly. "Interesting, what with your colouring. I'm Rouge. This is Tikal, and -"

"Knuckles, shove over!" the female echidna hissed, pulling a face at me. Knuckles shifted closer to Rouge, leaving me a small space on the bench. I sat down and set my tray down on the table in front of me. I felt kind of naked without it.

"Sorry about that. Welcome to Mobius High!" Knuckles said gruffly.

"Thank you …"

I waited for him to say something else. He stared at me for a half a second then began to turn away. I internally winced. Okay. Yikes. _Awkward_.

It was then that I noticed what he was wearing.

I, uh, I like your hoodie!" I added shyly. It was black with the phrase Winter _Is Coming_ printed on it. "I just started watching the show."

Knuckles nodded approvingly. "How far are you?"

"Season Two. I'm at the part where Tyrion - "

"Ah! No spoilers, please!" Silver exclaimed. He clapped his hands around Blaze's ears. She hasn't seen it yet!" he explained. "She's finally agreed to start it this weekend."

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I squeaked, absolutely mortified. Spoilers were a mortal sin.

"No worries. I've already read the books. Silver's just an idiot." Blaze laughed, grabbing his hands and pushing them from her head.

"Books don't count." he teased.

"Ugh, you're only saying that because you've a thing for Natalie Dormer."

"In fairness," Rouge interjected, "Who doesn't?"

"True. Anyway Silver, I'm onto you." Blaze teased. "The secrets that lie within your heart."

"Ha, yeah, you caught me." Silver laughed, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

"Kit Harrington though…" the echidna next to me sighed dreamily. I looked at her, noticing her properly for the first time. I'd spent enough time rummaging around Oxfam to recognise an outfit that had been pulled together from the rails of a secondhand shop, though in her case it seemed like it was a style-based decision rather than one that was financially driven. Bold prints, bright colours clunky jewellery, a hippy-chick braided headband, it was a look that was a million miles away from my secondhand jeans and sweater ensemble.

"He's gorgeous, right?" She sighed again. "What I wouldn't do to - "

"Ugh! You can't say things like that." Knuckles growled, covering his ears.

"I'm fifteen, Knuckie, I'm not a baby!" She rolled her eyes towards me. Who was this girl and where did she get her take-no-shit attitude? And where could I get one?

"So, I didn't quite catch your name ..."

"Oh, I'm Tikal."

"And Knuckles - ?"

"He's my older brother.' she rolled her eyes again. I wondered if she ever got dizzy from doing that. "Do you have any siblings?"

"Yeah, I've got a little sister. She's seven."

"Knuckles acts like I'm seven!" she laughed. "He takes his role very seriously. Most of the time, anyway. So two years ago we were on holidays, and he was meant to be taking care of me in this water park but he left me completely stranded and then -"

"Lies!" Knuckles cried. "Don't listen to her Amy, she's just trying to make me look bad."

"Tikal doesn't tell lies," Rouge said drily. "It's what makes her my favourite Pacha sibling."

"What?!"

"You heard me," she drawled, going back to her yogurt. Knuckles' eyes flashed.

The two of them launched into an argument, but Tikal's total non-reaction told me that this wasn't anything to worry about. I took a sip of water.

Just then, Blaze looked down at my tray. Her eyes lit up when she noticed my long-forgotten book.

"You like Harry Potter?"

A wave of excitement rushed over me. God bless fandom culture for giving socially awkward wrecks like myself a chance to engage with people. "Love it!" I exclaimed, a little too loudly. I cringed internally at how eager-to-please I sounded. Nothing demonstrates your desperation like eagerness.

"Oh, you're going to get along just fine here." Blaze teased. "We're all huge nerds. Even Rouge has seen the Star Wars prequels."

Confession: I'd never seen Star Wars. I'd no intention of ever seeing Star Wars. Glow-stick battles and gold bikinis weren't my thing. I almost said this, before I realised that those sort of confessions could get you exiled from social circles. It was mixing up Link and Zelda. Or saying that Shrek the Third was the best Shrek movie.

(It's Two. Just for the record. We all know it's true)

I settled on smiling instead. A flicker of a smile appeared on Blaze's face too.

"So Amy, how's your first day been?" Maria piped up from her side of the table, looking a little guilty for having neglected me for so long.

"It's been … better than I anticipated." I said carefully. Little did they know that being asked to sit at this lunch table had been the highlight of my day. But there's that damn earnestness again - gotta play hard to get. "It's smaller than my old school, so that'll be a bit of an adjustment."

"Where were you before now?" Tails asked.

"Mobius High. In the city."

"Woah! That's quite a change!"

"Hm …"

I tried to sound casually indifferent, but my heart was racing once again. What if they asked about the move? Or my old school? Or life there? Thankfully, the conversation seemed to have moved on. Tikal launched into an anecdote about a mishap she'd had with her locker combination earlier that morning and she had everybody's attention for the next few minutes. Knuckles and Rouge had ceased arguing. I looked down at my lunch-tray and realised how hungry I was. I started to carefully eat my burger without looking at anybody. It had been ages since I'd eaten with anyone outside my family. The whole experience was a little unnerving for some reason and I was really self conscious about chewing with my mouth closed - something I never even had to think about before.

"You should try the chili dogs next time."

I froze, mid-bite.

Sonic was looking at me.

Sonic -this _really_ cute guy- was looking at me and my mouth was full of lettuce and tofu. 

I choked it down. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, they're awesome!"

"Well … I'll keep that in mind, thanks."

"Cool."

I couldn't look at him. I was furiously trying to remove a piece of lettuce from between my teeth with my tongue. I felt like he was still watching me - but come off it Amy, you always think that people are watching you and judging you, as though they have nothing better to do with their time.

I didn't know which was worse. People thinking about me or people not thinking about me.

"There's only ten minutes left." Cosmo said mournfully, chucking her book onto the table. "I'm giving up on studying."

"Hey, Amy, can I see your timetable?" Maria asked. "Let's see if we have any other classes together!"

I fumbled with the zipper of my bag and pulled my pink hardback out of it. I passed it along the table until it reached Maria. She opened it up and immediately let out a little squeal. "Amy! These are adorable! Aw, guys, she drew the cutest little chaos on the inside cover!"

I blushed, surprised by the compliment.

"It's really nothing, I -

Maria excitedly held the book out in front of everyone. Cosmo took it from her and examined the drawings. Her eyes lit up as she looked down at the page littered with chaos. "These are wonderful! Tell me Amy, are you interested in art? Do you draw?"

"Oh no. I mean, - no not properly. Just - Chibis and the like." I stammered.  
"Each to their own. Still, they're lovely."

"Cosmo's the greatest artist in the school," Tails said proudly. Cosmo's cheeks reddened, but she looked pleased with the praise. "Well, Tails is an all-round genius."

"I wouldn't say - "

" _Especially_ when it comes to science. We're only freshmen and he's taking Junior-level classes."

"Impressive!" I said. "I had Chemistry just there and I was completely lost the entire time."

"Who do you have?"

Lime-green eyes, once again. I could feel my body temperature rising.

"Oh um, I don't really know, I can't remember his name … he had tufty brown hair and glasses."

"Egghead. Ugh, poor you." he pulled a face. He was still irritatingly good-looking like that.

"Sonic has a vendetta against Mr. Eggman," Maria explained.

"Actually Maria, I think you''ll find that he's the one with a vendetta against me."

"As far as I can recall, his grudge against you isn't totally unjustifiable, Sonic." Blaze said, eyebrow raised. "Freshman Year?"

Sniggers broke out around the table. Even Shadow smirked.

Inside jokes. What was the etiquette for a stranger in this situation? Stay silent? Laugh along? Why don't they teach us about these things? It'd be a million times more useful than calculus.

"Yeah, yeah - "

"The whiteboard?" Silver said slyly.

"The tinfoil?" Blaze added.

"The bag of - "

"Lunch is nearly over! Weren't we meant to be comparing timetables?" Sonic said loudly, snatching my notebook from Cosmo. His eyes lingered on the doodles. He didn't say anything, but his expression softened and a smile played at his lips. He turned the page over and scanned the timetable I'd stuck there.

"History with me and Blaze, You've Algebra right after lunch - "

"You're in my class then, Amy." Silver smiled. I smiled weakly back at him. We could always discuss Game of Thrones.

"Then you have a free period in the library, and then you've Home Ec with Maria.

"Really?" Maria exclaimed, almost dropping her apple. "Amy! You can be my new cooking partner and - "

The rest of her sentence was drowned out by a chorus of groans.

"Don't do it Amy," Rouge warned. "Maria has a bad track record when it comes to Home Economics."

"Last year she gave Megan food poisoning." .

Maria scrunched up her nose and glared at Silver. Shadow lightly rubbed her shoulder.

"I'm not that bad!" she protested bitterly. "It's my favourite subject and I haven't been able to cook in three weeks."

" - And I'm delighted for Ms Barony's blood pressure levels." Rouge interrupted, smirking. Cream snorted but seeing Shadow's expression, quickly tried to disguise it as a cough.

I was fighting off a grin of my own, biting down on my lower lip. But I caught a glimpse of Maria's expression and felt a twinge of guilt. She was easily the sweetest and friendliest person that I'd met today. I mean, honestly, here I was at a crowded lunch table of people who didn't seem to hate me, listening to them talk and laugh around me, and it was all because of her ...

"Of course I'll be your partner, Maria." I said. "It'll be good to know someone going into the class."

Maria's face broke out into a smile as she tossed me a grateful glance. I found myself smiling back without even thinking about it.

Suddenly the bell sounded, triggering a series of sighs and, in Cosmo and Cream's cases whimpers at the prospect of a test. I stood up awkwardly, holding my tray of half-eaten food. The group broke apart - Knuckles and Rouge slouched off together, both nodding at me as they passed. Tails saluted me, before walking off with his face buried in his notes. Blaze smiled and walked off. Maria smiled at me again, told me that she'd see me in Home Ec, and skipped away from the table, Shadow holding her hand beside her. Silver hovered beside me, holding onto the straps of his bag like a little kid.

"Ready to go?" he asked. "The wonderful world of algebra awaits us!"

I laughed as I (guiltily) dumped the remains of my food into a nearby bin. It was funny … but I'd been waiting for lunch to be over so I could go back to class where I was totally anonymous. But now I was surprised by how quickly the last few minutes had gone, how much I'd enjoyed myself …

Sonic brushed past me at that very moment.

"See you, Amy."

My breath caught in my throat and I watched him saunter away, his bag hanging loosely from one shoulder.

"Amy? We'd better get going."

"Oh, right. I'm sorry."

"No worries. Follow me."

He strode along the rows of - now empty - cafeteria tables, asking me a couple of questions about where I was on Game of Thrones, who my favourite characters were - generally the sort of conversation I would have given a year of my life to have with someone only twenty-four hours ago. But I couldn't focus. In fact, I couldn't even focus on being nervous and tongue tied. My head was full, replaying that split second of contact over and over again. The surprising warmth from his body. The faint smell of his deodorant. The way he said my name …

Agh.

Damn hormones.

_Don't even think about it._

 


	3. Dark Web Apple Pie

"Is it supposed to smell like that?" Maria asked doubtfully, wrinkling her nose up in disgust.

We stared down at our apple pie. At least, that's what it was supposed to be. The beautifully brown pastry, golden apple filling, and artfully crafted crust, topped with a thick glob of cream that was pictured in our textbooks bared no resemblance to the monstrosity in front of us. Our blackened pastry was cracked, the apple filling oozing out of it like pus. It was clear that no amount of whipped cream or custard would be enough to make it look remotely appetising.

"I don't even know what that smell is." I admitted, biting my lip.

Okay. I hadn't tried baking anything remotely more exciting than rice-krispie buns in years. But even so, this was just a whole other level of bad. I cast my eye over to the girls at the table next to us - a tall, auburn-haired chipmunk, and a light-brown lynx with long black hair - who were adding the finishing touches to her own pie. It looked like the Instagram-version of the one in the book, heavily filtered, expertly edited, hashtag-foodporn, hashtag-aesthetic. Ours was clearly the Dark Web edition. "Just how did we get this so wrong?"

Maria shrugged nonchalantly, busy tracing patterns in the flour dusting the tabletop, calm as you please. Me? Ha. I cast an eye out for our teacher, Ms Barony. She was making her way across the room, her long skirts raised - making her way to our table, I realised, my stomach lurching involuntarily. I'd never really outgrown that phase of being terrified of teachers and getting in trouble with them.

"Maria! It's so good to see you cooking again, I know how much you've been missing it." she said in a tone that was just a little too exaggerated to sound totally sincere. She looked over at me, smile frozen in place. "And I'm happy to see a new face in the classroom!"

I looked down at my shoes. "Thank you Ms Barony." Gah. She was a nice teacher. I honestly didn't know if that was worse or not.

Pros: Won't shout at me and make me cry in front of everybody. Probably won't give a lot of homework so I can maybe start watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend this weekend.

Cons: Automatically feel like I should start apologising everytime I see her because of how inept I am, both as a Home Economics student and as a person in general.

Ms Barony glanced down at our pie. Her smile didn't waver, but her eyes widened slightly. "Ah girls, what a … valiant attempt! Truly!"

Maria and I exchanged a glance, Maria clearly struggling to hide her smile.

She bravely stooped down and sniffed it, immediately choking from the warm, sour pong. She quickly covered her nose with a gloved hand and backed away from the table, almost tripping in her haste. Maria stifled a giggle. I bit down - hard - on my tongue, my face flushing. Not for the first time in my life, I wished that a hole would appear in the ground and swallow me up.

Clearly at a loss for words, Ms Barony quickly moved on to the next table. Her cries of relief and over-the-top praises at the sight of the masterpiece belonging to our neighbours sent Maria into a further spiel of giggles.

"Ah … poor Vanilla." she said softly, when she'd finally recovered, shaking her head slightly. "I'm so bad at cooking. But nothing else works with my timetable."

"Vanilla?" I echoed.

"Ms Barony to you. But she's Cream's mother, and given all of the time we've spent in her house over the years, it's hard to think of her as a teacher-teacher."

"She's Cream's mother?"

The eyes should have done it. Wide, earnest, chocolate-brown.

"Yep! She used to babysit me when I was younger as well."

"Oh?"

"So I've known Cream since I was six, I guess. But I mean, most of us were in the same elementary and middle schools. I've known Shadow for almost my entire life, and Rouge and I have always been pretty close too." She smiled slyly at me. "That's Station Square for you though. I'm sure that Mobius was a whole other story."

I nodded. Not that I had a whole lot of experience from within the social scene back in the city, but I had almost seventeen years of observations in my belt. "Yeah, I mean, there were five other highschools besides mine, and twice as many middle and elementary schools. I can barely remember the names of anybody I went to elementary school with."

A big purple cat clutching a stuffed froggy toy. A pink fairy with a dreamy smile. An echidna with a zigzag marking on her forehead. Footfalls in the sun-kissed grass. The sound of laughter. The red plastic slide. Blackberry ice-pops.

Happier times.

I didn't know if I remembered their names or not. I tried not to think about it too much, to be honest. It gave me a headache. Truth be told, I couldn't really remember anything that had happened during elementary school. Middle school was much more vivid.

But Maria didn't have to know that.

"Wow! That's crazy!" Maria laughed, breaking my train of thought. "Like, take this class for example -" she gestured around the room. "There's about sixteen other kids in this class apart from the two of us, and I went to elementary school with almost everyone."

"Really?" I asked, feeling my chest tighten. I probably should have realised that the dynamics in a small school would be completely different to those back in the city, but for some reason my overactive brain hadn't picked up on this obvious issue. I placed my hand on the table, trying to keep my balance as the room tilted around me.

No, no, no.

I forced myself to breathe slowly - inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Not deep enough breaths to draw further attention to myself, but regular, rhythmic. The ground below my feet seemed to expand before my eyes. I forced myself to focus on a small piece of apple peel that I must have dropped.

"Yeah, everyone except Sally, I think." Maria said, from somewhere a million miles away.

"Sally?" I echoed weakly.

Maria nodded at the table next to ours, where a small group had gathered. I glanced back at the chipmunk I'd noticed earlier, who was now cutting her pie into slices and handing them out to people, flushing with pride.

"She went to an elementary school in Knothole. But even then I've known her since middle school. Hey Sally!"

Sally looked up at us and smiled. "Hey yourself! Do you guys want some pie? My mother's on a weird macrobiotic diet, so it won't get eaten at my house."

She quickly wrapped up two generous slices in clingfilm and handed them over to us. I accepted mine with shaking hands.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. Consider me a Welcome Wagon representative. You're new, right?"

"Yeah … I'm Amelia."

"Well, welcome to Station Square High, Amelia!" Sally smiled. "I'm Sally Acorn. That's my friend Nicole."

Nicole didn't react to her name. There were a pair of rainbow-striped earbuds poking out from under her beanie hat and she was bopping her head to the best of the music. Sally rolled her eyes and turned to look at Maria instead. "Hey Maria, anything new with you?"

Maria shook her head. "I've got ballet practice after school, but that's the height of it. I'm so glad that it's almost the weekend!"

"I know!" Sally laughed. "I can't wait!"

(Is it ridiculous that I was jealous of how well they could do small-talk? I mean seriously, how did people just have conversations with people like this? It was completely beyond me).

Ms Barony clapped her hands together from the front of the room. "Alright everyone, pack up your things! I want you to have this exercise described in your journals for Tuesday."

Sally pulled a face at us before going back to her desk. A crackly arpeggio sounded through the room - the bell, signalling the end of the day. Everybody automatically surged towards the door, slinging their bags across their shoulders. Ms Barony stood by her desk, wishing us a good weekend as we passed her. I waved sheepishly as Maria and I left the room.

I hoped, for her sake, that there was still time to switch classes.

I paused for a second outside the door, taking in the sea of students with wide eyes. Nowhere near as vast as at my old school, but it was all oh-so unfamiliar ...

Maria stopped as well, looking at me quizzically. "Do you need any help finding your locker?"

"Oh, um, no, I'm fine - "

Of course I wasn't fine. Far from it. Maria clearly picked up on this, because she insisted on walking down the hall alongside me. Even this was a foreign experience - I usually hung back from crowds, or anyone else really. Honestly I was itching to plug in my earphones right now and listen to whatever mix Spotify had come up with for the day (thank goodness that this school had free WiFi, honestly). It was all just so overwhelming. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd spoken to as many people in a month, let alone in a day, or the last time so many people had stared at me …

Though in fairness, even my own irrational brain was pretty sure that people were actually staring at the pie Maria was holding, rather than me myself.

"Hey, I never even asked, how did you find lunch?" Maria said.

"Oh … " I didn't know how enthusiastic I should sound. Was it cooler to sound detached and unimpressed? Why didn't they teach these things? But Maria's face was so open and earnest, that while my head was telling me to keep my distance, my gut feeling was to match her honesty.

As well as I could, anyway.

"I had a great time." I told her, genuinely. "Really. It was so nice of you to invite me over."

Maria shook her head. "Don't even worry about it, Amy. It must be hard, you know? New school and all that."

"Mhmm …" Ha! Understatement of the century.

Maria led me to the Sophomore locker area, a modestly sized alcove facing a notice board covered in colourful posters. The area was pretty clear, with everyone eager to get home for the weekend. Blaze was rummaging around for books, Silver leaning against the wall beside her. He caught a glimpse of us approaching and smiled.

"Hey guys!"

Blaze glanced at us too. "Oh good, Amy, you're still alive."

"Blaze," Maria huffed. "My cooking is not that bad."

Both she and Silver glanced down at the pie in Maria's hands.

"Okay, I will confess that today's attempt did not go according to plan." Maria admitted.

"I can't even tell what that's supposed to be." Silver said, in a tone which conveyed both high levels of disgust and curiosity.

"Apple-pie. Kind of." I answered lamely.

"I hope that for your sake, Amy, as well as Vanilla's, that you're making salad next week." Silver told me. It wasn't until Blaze staggered back from her locker, weighed down by the amount of books in her arms, that he managed to tear his eyes away from it. "Hey, Blaze, let me - "

"It's fine Silver, thank you." She interrupted, closing her locker door shut with her elbow. Silver looked as though he wanted to argue with her on that, but he let out a deep sigh and stayed silent as she side-stepped awkwardly past us.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I've a huge Geography project that I'm behind on." She said apologetically. "I'll see you guys. It was nice to meet you Amy!"

She was halfway down the hall before what she said had fully sunken in. Silver scooped his bag up from the floor.

"How did you find Algebra, Amy?" He asked. "You were kind of thrown into the deep end there."

"I felt like Dany when she was brought to the Dothraki." I said. A weak reference, but Silver laughed in a way which seemed genuine.

"Mr Pine's a good teacher, though his methods take some getting used to." He confided. "But I'm sure that you'll catch up in no time."

That didn't seem very likely. Maths was like an alien dialect to me. I felt too awkward to say any of this, so I just smiled shyly in response. After throwing a few more jabs at Maria's culinary skills, he started jogging down the hall until he caught up with Blaze, and the two of them turned the corner together, disappearing out of our line of sight.

It was 4.10 PM - classes had been over for an entire ten minutes. Maria easily opened her locker and grabbed her books, while I fiddled with my own combination.

"Hey," Maria said, in a strange voice. "I'm sorry for kind of forgetting you at lunch."

"Oh …" I remembered her guilty expression from earlier. "No, it's really fine. You didn't owe me anything - "

"It wasn't really fair, though. It's just, I guess I get very caught up in my boyfriend when I'm with him."

"Shadow?"

"Yeah, that's him." In spite of her discomfort, her tone took on a lighter note when she mentioned him.

(Cute!)

"It's really fine!" I insisted, feeling guilty. I'd known that this would happen, that I'd inconvenience people … And of everyone that I could have done that to, Maria was the worst, because of just how nice she'd been to me.

Even if it was only because she felt sorry for me or something, she'd still tried. How could she possibly know how much that that meant to me?

She didn't look totally convinced, biting her lip, blue eyes wide. For a split second, the tables had turned. I was the one trying to put her at ease.

I found this oddly reassuring and grinned at her, "So, how long have you two been together?"

A little light returned to Maria's eyes - this was clearly a question that she loved to answer. "It'll be two years in February." she said shyly.

"Really?" I was genuinely impressed. I had no idea how long highschool relationships were supposed to last, but based on the kids in my old school, things tended to fizzle out within five months. Two years was an eternity in comparison.

She nodded, smiling widely now. "But we've been friends since forever, basically. We've lived on the same street our whole lives."

"That's … really cute."

Maria beamed at me. I smiled back. I waited for the voice in my head to say something to trigger my anxiety, to force me to retreat … but I only felt warmth.

It was then that Maria's phone began to buzz loudly.

"Ah jeeze, that's my grandfather. I have to run." Maria said, sounding genuinely disappointed. "I'll see you on Monday, Amy. Have a great weekend, okay?"

"Yeah … okay. You too" I smiled. She smiled back, taking a small step forward. For one wild moment I thought that she was going to pull me into a hug, but she was still holding the pie.

"I'm going to chuck this in the bin as soon as I get home." She vowed solemnly. "It was great meeting you, Amy. I'll see you next week!"

"Yeah … Goodbye Maria!"

"Bye!"

She began to run down the hall, buy before reaching the corner she turned back to look at me.

"Amy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being my partner today. Nobody ever wants to cook with me."

With that, she ran around the corner and out of sight.

I stood there for a couple of minutes, struggling to process how I felt …

It was only then that it really hit me. My first day was over. I'd survived my first day at my new school.

In fact, I did better than just survive it.

I could have taken advantage of the WiFi and listened to some music, but the thought didn't even cross my mind. I wandered down the long-empty hall without really seeing it, without really seeing anything.

I didn't see anything at all, in fact, until I stepped outside. There were only a few stragglers hanging by the gates, the kids whose parents were late picking them up or who were waiting for busses. A leopard and fox shared a cigarette while perching on a bike rack, and a couple of guys kicked an old Coke can around. My timing couldn't have been more perfect, because my bus arrived as soon as I walked out the door. I scurried towards it and clambered on after two studious-looking Seniors.

It was small and dark, and the seats were covered in stained red upholstery, but it wasn't crowded, so I could secure a window seat by myself. I made myself as comfortable as I could in the scratchy chair and turned over to grab my seatbelt. As I did, I caught a better glimpse of the guys messing with the coke can.

Specifically, one guy. A hedgehog whose eyes met mine through the glass while he was mid-laugh.

He smiled at me.

I didn't know what to do.

So I turned away, as the bus began to move out onto the road, leaving the school - and Sonic -behind.


	4. How Very Punk Rock Of You

The bus drew to a halt and I clambered down the steps as quickly as I could. The driver nodded at me. I panicked and responded with a weird sort of jerky head twitch.

Needless to say, I was overjoyed when my feet hit the pavement.

Our house stood at the very end of Blue Ridge street. In all honesty, it amounted to little more than a handful of houses and a small newsagents, shadowed by rows of alpine trees. Back in Mobius we lived bang in the middle of the city. Our poky two-room apartment was on the seventh floor of a crumbling grey building with a lift that smelled strongly of vomit, cigarette smoke, and the shame of a dozen spur-of-the-moment hookups.

It should pretty much go without saying that I'd avoided it at all costs, even though it meant trekking up and down what must have been hundreds of stairs a day.

Yeah, it was about half as pleasant as it sounds.

This house was a modestly-sized bungalow (already a huge point in its favour) with an bright red door and a letterbox. It was the sort of house that you'd see in a three year old's drawing. It was the house my grandmother bought for herself once my mother moved out and her husband passed away. She'd shuffled off this mortal coil after him over the Summer.

So here we were.

I pushed the front door open. "I'm home!" I announced, dumping my schoolbag on the dark green carpet. I could hear the whimsical music of some kids' television theme-song through the walls. I walked towards the source of the noise, down the narrow hallway and through the first door on the left. My little sister, Abigail, was curled up on the sofa, eyes glued to the screen. Her striking purple fur, stripy tights, and yellow glittery jumper clashed horribly with each other, as they clashed with the subdued surroundings of the room. The sofa and armchair were two different faded shades of green. The fireplace was covered in dusty photographs and cracked secondhand china figures. A single Sacred Heart print hung on one of the walls. It was honestly a pretty depressing place to be, but I mustered all of the enthusiasm and energy that I could in order to greet my sister.

"Hey Abby!"

Abigail looked up and her face broke out into a gap-toothed smile. She scrambled across the sofa, launching herself at me and almost knocking me over with the sheer force of her affection. "Amy!" she squealed, wrapping her arms around me. "I missed you so much!"

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes … although that was more to do with the grip she had on my neck rather than the beauty of the unconditional love that exists between sisters.

(Elsa and Anna _who?_ )

"Well, I'm here now!" I gasped. Her grip was strong for a six year old. "How are you?"

"Fine," she told me, finally releasing me from her choke-hold. Oh sweet, sweet air.

"What?!" I cried out in mock surprise, once I'd recovered. "Just fine?!"

"Uh-huh."

"Tell me more!"

"Like what?"

"Welllll how was your first day?"

"It was fiiiiine."

"Yeah?"

"Yup!"

I studied her expression, my brow furrowed. She didn't look in any way upset or anything …

But here's the thing.

Abigail wasn't like me. She wasn't shy. She'd been largely unfazed by the prospect of a move and a new school. Hell, she'd been excited to go off on the bus this morning, with her Disney Princess backpack.

And I loved that. I loved her confidence. I loved how she embraced change so readily, what a tough cookie she was …

But it worried me too.

It's just so much safer when you have low expectations.

While I'd been deliberating all of this, Abigail had gone back to looking at the TV, clearly bored by the conversation. She hopped back onto the sofa, laying her head on the armrest. A thought dawned on me suddenly.

"Where's Mum?"

"She's just having a little rest." Abigail told me, eyes still glued to the screen.

"Alright," I said, glancing down at the coffee table which was covered in half-chewed bread crusts and lumps of butter.

Mmmm.

"Are you hungry, babs?"

She nodded, still staring at the screen . "And thirsty."

"And thirsty?"

She nodded again.

"Okaaaay. How about I make us some cheese toasties and we can watch your show?"

She didn't nod this time but I took her lack of objection as a yes. I couldn't expect to compete for her attention when Sofia The First was on.  
I left the room and walked into the kitchen. It was altogether more cheerful than the living room; colourful tiles on the floor, large windows which let in the light, and a large old-fashioned stove. It looked a little like an upside-down mushroom and I absolutely loved it. It was just so unlike anything else we'd ever owned.

I started to search for ingredients. We'd been living on takeaway pizza for the last few days, but Mum had done a shop yesterday for Abigail's packed lunch. I managed to find the remains of the bread and butter, as well some cheddar slices, and set about making sandwiches on the frying pan. The bubbling cheese sent a wave of hunger through my body. I was starving. I hadn't finished my lunch.

I hadn't eaten the pie Sally had given me either.

There had just been so many distractions … but nothing was going to distract me from making a dope-ass cheese-toastie.

You may laugh, but seriously. My baking skills were severely lacking, but I was a bona-fide culinary goddess when it came to cheese toasties.

Once they were finished I set them on a plate and grabbed two juice-boxes from the fridge before carrying the meal into the living room. I collapsed onto the sofa beside Abigail. She attacked her sandwich in the way that vicious fangirls attack the actors of characters who get in the way of their beloved OTPs (gross behaviour, seriously, just don't). I soon followed suit, positively famished by this stage.

We relaxed back into the sofa, our stomachs sufficiently full of melted cheese and concentrated apple juice. Abigail snuggled up beside me,resting her head on my chest, back to watching colourful cartoons. I stared at the screen too, not paying attention to what was happening. I was vaguely aware that I had homework to do, but I was just so tired.

I had severely underestimated how exhausting school would be. Meeting the principal, getting a locker, going over the rules, dealing with new teachers and even just examining and adjusting to all-new surroundings. As well as all that, I'd been thrown into this eclectic group of people, who at least seemed to be genuinely interested in talking to me. Maybe part of it was pity, I don't know. That's what my brain was telling me. But even so, it had been a completely new experience and I was too exhausted to analyse it further Abigail nuzzled my shoulder and I put my arm arm around her.

This is where I was. Safe, with Abigail beside me, on a comfy sofa, in a house which was far nicer than anywhere else we'd ever lived. This is where I wanted to be right now. Somewhere easy.

It was then that my mother walked into the room, rubbing her eyes. Her magenta fur was all rumpled and she was only wearing her underwear and an oversized grey t-shirt. I could see the remains of old-mascara underneath her eyes. It was the only make-up she ever really wore, in a desperate attempt to look less tired. She looked at us and smiled, and I instantly felt bad for thinking even slightly critically of her.

"Mum, let me make you some coffee." I said, gently untangling myself from Abigail, who hadn't looked up from her programme.

"Oh thank you darling," she yawned. "That would be lovely."

I faffed about in the kitchen, spooning instant coffee into the World's Best Mum mug I'd decorated in school when I was in second grade. Or was it fourth grade? There were three of these mugs in our shelves, the joint efforts of myself and Abigail, differing only in colour and how much glitter glue had been used (Abigail won that round, hands down.). Mum was like that. There were plastic bags full of old drawings and report cards dating back to my pre-school days that Mum was probably going to insist we stick up everywhere any day now. She kept literally everything.

This in mind, I went into the hall and retrieved my schoolbag. I took out the slice of pie that I'd carefully folded up in kitchen-roll. I unwrapped it and examined it. Some of the pastry was crumbling slightly, but all-in-all, it was still presentable. I brought it back to the kitchen and popped it into the microwave. I prepared the coffee as it heated up and was soon walking back into the living room with a steaming cup and a warm slice of pie. I wished that we had ice-cream or custard, or whatever it is that you eat with apple-pie. I had a hazy memory of eating apple-pie with my grandparents when they were both alive, before Abigail was born, and my grandfather eating his with peanut-butter.

I didn't remember much else about him, apart from the smell of tobacco that wafted from him. In every photo I'd ever seen of him, he was wearing a suit. I was happy to remember such a trivial detail – it was so much more humanising. Should that make me feel sad? Honestly, I couldn't remember him enough to feel genuinely sad for myself and my loss, but I could remember wanting to hug my mother when she cried at the funeral.

She was laughing when I walked back into the living room, sitting beside Abigail. Abigail looked puzzled over what she'd done to get such a reaction. I couldn't help but smile. The poor kid didn't realise how entertaining she was to us.

I handed mum her coffee and set the pie down on the table in front of her.

"Thanks love." Her eyes lit up when she saw the dessert. "Hey! What did I do to deserve this?"

"It's for being the best mum in the world." I teased, kissing her forehead and squeezing in between them both.

"It looks delicious." she said. She set down her coffee picked up her plate. She broke a piece off with the side of her fork and popped it into her mouth. She closed her eyes in bliss. "It tastes even better than it looks!"

"I want some! I want some! Please!" cried Abigail, adding in the magic-word as an afterthought. Mum dutifully halved her slice and Abigail attacked it gleefully.

"Did you make this in school?"

"Oh no, mine didn't work out. But this girl was giving out pieces of hers. It was the best in the class."

"Which girl?" Mum asked.

"Her name was Sally. Her last name was ... " I blanked. "I want to say Pecan. Or Hazelnut."

"Was it Acorn?"

"That's it! Sally Acorn. How did you know?" I asked.

Mum chewed her food, a thoughtful expression on her face. "The Acorns own the hotel in town," she told me, "I met her mother last night."

Mum was working the night-shift in housekeeping, three nights a week. She was also working part-time at the supermarket during the week, while Abigail was in school.

"Oh," I said. "What's she like?"

"Very polite. I didn't talk to her for long. The status divide and all that. Still, she must be a kind woman to have a daughter like that."

"Yeah …" I said carefully. I didn't like where this was going.

"She might make a good friend for you!" she continued, eyes shining. She was unable to keep the hope out of her voice and it almost broke my heart.

"Yeah, maybe." I replied. I was trying to sound nonplussed, but my heart was racing. I had to nip this in the bud. "I've lots of work to catch up on though, so I want to focus on that." I leapt off the sofa. "I'd better get started, actually. Loads of homework."

"Oh, I was hoping I'd hear more about your day!"  
"I'll be down in a few hours. I just want to get Algebra out of the way. Then I can be of more help over the weekend."

I made a hasty exit before either Mum or Abigail could say another word. I walked past the kitchen and turned left, down a second strip of hallway. My bedroom was at the very end, directly facing the bathroom. I shut the door firmly behind me.

I hadn't spent a lot of time in my new room so far. Having a space that was all for myself was almost uncomfortable after spending most of my entire life living somewhere that was essentially a hotel-room without the luxury. One bedroom, one bathroom, and a communal kitchen. I hadn't even spent a lot of time sleeping in here. When mum was doing a night-shift, I'd slept in her bed with Abigail clinging to me.

The room was very clean, in a kind of untouched, anonymous way. The walls were painted lemon-yellow and there was one window, half covered by a set of blinds. It was pretty sparsely furnished, with just a bed and a bedside locker where a small salt-lamp was on display. My grandmother had used it as a guest bedroom, though I don't think that it had ever gotten much use. We'd hardly ever visited her and never overnight.

I hadn't done anything to mark the room as my own, apart from covering the plain white bedspread with a large pink blanket. The rest of my belongings were still in cardboard boxes along the wall, apart from my tiny makeup and toiletries collection which was on the windowsill , the clothes in the wardrobe, and my Netbook and its charger, which had been my Christmas-and-Birthday present a couple of years ago and was on top of the pink blanket.

I didn't really know what to do with myself. I wasn't quite desperate enough to do algebra and I was honestly still so mentally and emotionally spent. I decided to unpack my remaining belongings because I'd been putting it off for so long. I set my music up and sorted out my stuff as Ed Sheeran played in the background.

I was finished within three songs; a handful of Disney Princess Kinder Egg figurines, a jewellery box containing an assortment of chokers and bangles, my battered paperbacks, string of fairy lights which I draped around the headboard of my bed, and a single Harry Potter poster. I studied the room, a little skeptically. It looked more like my room, which was a totally unnerving concept.

I sat down on my bed, kicked off my shoes, and opened up my Netbook. My tabs from last night were still open - a Vine compilation on YouTube, my Tumblr dashboard, and the twenty-seventh chapter of a slow-burn Captain Swan fanfic. I pulled my blanket around me. This is what I lived for.

I bookmarked the fanfic - it was one of those angst-driven AUs involving terminal illness, which wasn't really what you wanted to be reading on a Friday evening. In fairness, most people's ideal Friday evening probably involved a lot more vodka and a lot less Archive of Our Own, but most people weren't me, and I wasn't most people.  
I indulged myself in Tumblr, scrolling through social justice essays, funny cat gifs, and absurdist internet humour for an hour. Why was an image of an onion floating around in a bathtub so hilarious? Who knew?

Tumblr was really the only platform I checked regularly, and yes, I know I'm such a Generation Z nerd-girl cliche. But fandom culture and feminism was really only a small part of it (although I did have a SuperWhoLock phase when I was twelve which haunted me to this day). I liked Tumblr because of how anonymous I was. Nobody from school followed me - and if they did, they had no way of knowing who I was, unless there was a clue hidden in the gifs of Jane and Michael that plastered my page. At any rate the site wasn't about engaging with people. It was totally acceptable to just read fanfiction and share funny headcanons and not talk to anyone.

I messed around online for an hour or two, reading a couple of fluffy oneshots. Eventually I decided to try and start some of my homework. I took one look at the page of equations and gave up. I sighed and closed the book.

It was getting harder and harder not to think about today.

About how Maria seemed genuinely happy when I agreed to be her partner in Home Economics, the way Silver had looked out for me in Algebra, Sally giving me some pie and making me feel welcome …

Sonic ...

Those bright green eyes ...

The door burst open and I guiltily jumped up from the bed. Abigail was standing there, staring at me.

Agh.

"Mum wants you," she reported. "We're going to watch a movie."

"Right …" I said, looking around for my shoes. They were poking out from under the bed and I shoved them into my feet before walking into the living room. Abigail skipped out after me and threw herself onto mum's lap.

"So, movie night?" I asked, leaning against the wall.

"Uh-huh. Would you mind running down to the shop and getting some popcorn or something? My bag's in the kitchen." she said me, stroking Abigail's head.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I replied. My head was already spinning. What should I get? What should I say to the shopkeeper? Should I say anything? Would that look weird? Or would standing there in awkward silence look worse? These thoughts buzzed around in my brain as I fished around for a fiver in mum's bag. I rolled it up and stuffed it into the pocket of my jeans.

"I'll be back soon!" I cried as I walked out the front door. It slammed shut behind me. I flinched at the sound. It seemed that I'd already gotten used to how quiet this street was.

It was a little after seven. The sky had darkened over, so let myself be guided by the lone streetlight in the distance. It wasn't cold out but I shivered all the same. I wasn't used to walking the streets alone, not living in Mobius. I let out a sigh of relief as I stepped into the fluorescent-lit shop. I walked along the aisles of confectionary, tapping my finger against my leg to the rhythm of Cheap Thrills, which was blaring through the speakers. I grabbed a couple of items at random - a box of microwave popcorn, a bag of jelly sweets, a litre of 7UP - and tentatively made my way towards the counter. I set my items down in front of the cashier; a twenty-something year old mouse with choppy bangs and smudged silver eyeliner and who was just infinitely cooler than me.

The expression on her face told me that she was well aware of this fact.

She wordlessly took my items and scanned them as I stood there waiting for the sweet release of death. I didn't want to be here. I almost threw the money at her in my haste to just get out and get back to the house. I grabbed by stuff, took three steps towards the door ...

And there was Sonic, half-smiling, hands stuck into his pockets, looking so utterly at ease with himself that I felt even more awkward than before. I dropped my gaze down to the ground and hoped that he hadn't seen me.

"Hey! Fancy meeting you here!"

Damn.

"Oh, hi …" I said. I couldn't look directly at him. I fixated on the space behind his shoulder instead.

"How are you?"

"Um, I'm fine, thanks." I waited a beat too long before I realised that he was waiting for me to ask him the same question. "How are you?"

"I'm good, just here picking up some milk with my brother," he told me. He cocked his head over towards the magazine rack, where an electric-green hedgehog was flicking through a copy of Rolling Stone. He looked like he'd stuck his fingers into an electric socket, but it kind of worked; the mouse at the till was totally checking him out, so she clearly thought so anyway.

"I've a sister." I found myself telling him. Telling his feet, anyway. His sneakers were red with white stripes and I low-key loved them. Not that I'd ever tell him that. "Her name's Abigail."

"Oh yeah? Older or younger?"

"Younger. She's still in elementary school."

"Ah. I have one too, but she's older. She's home from college for the weekend. We're getting a Chinese and watching a movie."

"Oh, I'm actually getting stuff for Family Movie Night"

_He doesn't care!"_

"Ah, cool! What are you planning on watching?"

"Oh, probably just some Disney thing." I said, trying to sound nonchalant. Was sixteen old enough to suddenly like Disney films again? Had we as a generation collectively outgrown that edgy stage of pretending they were stupid? Because I could sing Be Our Guest in my sleep.

"I'd recommend Aladdin." he told me. I cast a sidelong glance at him. Interesting.

Before I could reply his brother was standing by his side, slapping him on the shoulder. He looked even stranger up close, with a series of piercings along his ear and chipped black nail polish. I'd seen wilder ensembles back in Mobius, so it wasn't what he was wearing that surprised me. Just the fact that he was wearing it in a small-town newsagents.

He noticed me staring and grinned. "Hey Sonic, are you going to introduce us?"

"Oh, this is Amy. She just moved here from Mobius." Sonic explained.

"Hi," I said shyly.

"This is Manic."

"Hey Amy," he told me, reaching out to shake my hand, which meant I had to shuffle my junk food around awkwardly. The formality of the gesture was surprising. I didn't know that handshakes were considered punk-rock. "I'm actually planning on studying in MCU next year."

"Manic's a Senior. And my brother." Sonic informed me.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I want to do Criminology and Social Studies."

"Oh, cool." I said.

What a stupid response. Was there anything more _un_ cool than using the world cool?

"Yeah, let's hope so. Anyway, hope you like it here," he slapped Sonic on the shoulder again. "We'd better get going."

"I'd be back for now if you hadn't tagged along." Sonic grumbled.

"Patience, young grasshopper." Manic said, raising an eyebrow at me. I grinned back. "I'll get the milk, if you want to start walking. I'll catch up."

"You really wanna take me up on that?" Sonic retorted, raising his eyebrow in the exact same way. Manic cast a pointed glance at the mouse who'd been eyeing him up.

Sonic rolled his eyes upwards. "That explains everything."

Manic winked at him and sauntered over towards the till, running his hands through his quills. Sonic shook his head in mock-despair.

"I should let you go, then …" I said tentatively.

"Oh yeah, okay. Sorry to hold you up like that."

"No, it's fine - "

"I just wanted to talk to you, see how your first day was, you know?"

"Yeah, of course!" I said, "Thanks. I appreciate it. I mean, really."

"Yeah? Maria's cooking didn't turn you off us?" he teased.

"Not quite, no." I snorted.

I didn't realise that we'd stepped out of the store until the breeze hit - it wasn't bitterly cold, but it was sharp, as though October was testing us, testing the waters before diving right in. I shivered even so, wishing that I'd put on something warmer.

"Are you alright getting home ..?" Sonic asked me, in a strange sort of voice. His face was half-hidden in shadow so I couldn't see his expression.

"I'm fine!" I said, both a little too loudly and a little too quickly. I could have bitten my tongue. _Stupid. Stupid._ "I should let you get back. I'm just down the street." I gestured vaguely in the direction of the house. He nodded.

"So I'll see you around on Monday then," he said to me. My heart fluttered.

He's just being nice. Just being nice. They don't actually care about whether or not they see you.

Shut up, I thought.

"Right, yeah." I said, looking back down at my scuffed-up trainers. "I'll see you then, I guess."

There was a brief pause.

"Have a good weekend," I added, feeling the need to prompt things along. Abigail would want her sweets. Mum would be wondering where I was. She'd start to worry.

"Enjoy movie night," he replied. I could hear the smile in his voice. "And remember what I said. Can't go wrong with Aladdin."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said. I took a tentative step backwards. "I'll see you, Sonic."

"Bye Amy,"

He turned around and set off walking down the street.

He didn't say see you back. That proves that he doesn't want to talk to you, that he doesn't want to be around you, that he's already sick of you. And who can honestly blame him? 

The thoughts bounced around my brain ... I just couldn't stop them echoing through my head. But they were drowned out by another sound, one that was entirely familiar but entirely different.

"Amy"

My name had never sounded sweeter. My feet had never felt lighter. I couldn't believe it when I reached my front door - I hadn't even noticed that I'd been walking.


	5. Still Time

Time's a funny thing if you think about it for too long. Time and how it just controls our lives - the ticking of the clock, the sand in an hourglass, the incessant buzz buzz buzz of an alarm. "I'm running out of time!", "We don't have enough time!", "I have to be there on time!" … it's grip on us is iron-tight.

But here's the thing - it doesn't really exist. It isn't concrete. It's not something that we discovered. Someone just made it up one day, as a way to quantify our existence, and we all just went along with it.

It's not real.

We don't know that it's really 12.34 PM, we just have to trust that someone somewhere is keeping track of this for us.

It's all imaginary, which means all of the problems that it causes are imaginary too. The schools should all publicly apologise to any student whose ever been told off for tardiness or been handed a late-slip, seriously.

It's just amazing to me, how many problems are caused by something that's all in our heads.

(I'm clearly one of the aforementioned people who have devoted too much time to thinking about these things.)

Anyway, maybe that's why people experience time in such a variety of ways. I felt like I was on pause throughout the entire weekend, while Mum and Abigail were running around me in hyper fast-forward. I wandered sluggishly around the house during the daytime, half-heartedly organising our cutlery, and at night I'd watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on my laptop until I literally couldn't keep my eyes open (it was even better than the hype, honestly). On Sunday evening I stood in the shower for almost a full twenty minutes before I realised where I was. I was still holding my shampoo bottle in my hand, unopened, as the lukewarm water trickled down my neck.

I crashed into bed ten minutes later, my hair still damp, and sleep hit me like a sledgehammer.

My alarm woke me up at 7.00 AM. Time caught up with me. I spent half an hour shakily applying mascara to my eyelashes and detangling my hair - my fingers felt heavy and numb and useless. I then agonised over my outfit for the day, even though my wardrobe consisted almost solely of charity-shop jeans and sweaters. I thought about what the other girls had worn on Friday - Cream with her bows and knitted jumper, Maria's timeless aesthetic, Rouge's label-to-die-for ensemble …

I wished that I had the confidence (and, you know, the funds) to dress the way I really wanted to. Instead I pulled on the jeans I'd worn on Friday with a plain pink t-shirt.

"Alright, love?" Mum asked, watching me toy with my bowl of congealing off-brand cornflakes. She was hastily clipping back her magenta curls, getting ready for her shift at the supermarket. I nodded hastily and forced myself to swallow down some of the orange mush to keep her happy. Abigail was already on her second bowl and eyeing the bunch of bananas on the kitchen counter.

We were out of the house at 8.30 (having wiped all trace of banana from Abigail's face). The bus to Knothole Elementary came first. Abigail ran straight for it, yelling goodbye to us as an afterthought. Mum shook her head, chuckling lightly as she watched her clamber on board. 

"Have a great day," Mum said to me, finally, kissing my cheek with chapped lips. She cupped my face and stroked it three times, in the same gentle sweeping movement she'd been using ever since I was a kid.

"I love you," she said. She straightened up and set off down the street. I watched her disappear from view, feeling as small and helpless as a six year old, until my bus finally pulled up at the end of the road.

I pushed through the glass doors and was hit by a million sounds and sights at once - a couple of screaming freshman girls, guys in snapbacks quoting Vines, dead-eyed Seniors staggering under the weight of their bags. I shrank back into myself, folding my arms defensively around my body. I charged through the crowd, head down, heart-racing, the voice in my head screaming _don't-look-up-don't-look-up-don't-look-up_.

But I didn't listen.

I rounded the corner to the Sophomore locker area and saw them; Blaze with her nose stuck in a book, Maria leaning against her locker with Shadow's arm around her, her hands flailing about in front of her as she relayed some anecdote or another, while Silver laughed ...

And … I wanted to go over.

I really really wanted to go over.

But I wouldn't. Or couldn't. I don't know. But I turned and walked quickly back down the hall

_Don't-look-up-don't-look-up-don't-look-up-oh-shit-_

My eyes were heavy and my vision cloudy with unshed tears as I ducked into the alcove beside the gym-door. I leaned against the wall, out of view, and tried to control my breathing. 

Why? Why, why why?

 _Stupid_.

I blinked hard, willing my tears back. 

Of course.

Why was I so fucking stupid?

What was the worst that could have happened?

I wouldn't have needed to say anything, just a simple 'hey' or 'hello' would have totally sufficed. I could have just gotten my books out of my locker and moved on, places to go, classrooms to find, ha ha ha.

Maria included me. Tails smiled at me. Cosmo and Rouge complimented me. Blaze bonded with me. Silver tried to put me at ease. Sonic was nice to me outside school. Even Sally Acorn gave me some pie and made a point of welcoming me. 

None of them had given me a single reason not to try and talk to them and for some reason that made it even harder to talk to them.

Because what if I'd made things weird?

The conversation would come to a halt. Maria and Shadow would have to move for me to get to my locker, I'd be there fiddling with the combination while they all stood around in silence, I'd be rooting around for books, making noise, wishing for death, and even if someone had tried to make small-talk I was so painfully bad at it and my responses would come across as stilted and it would all just be so awkward and I -

My vision clouded over once again. 

Maybe it would have been better if they had never made the effort in the first place. 

_Breathe, Amelia._

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I counted to ten and opened my eyes.

Neutral position.

Blank expression.

Museum statue.

I forced myself focus on something else - anything else, my timetable. French for the first two periods. Chemistry, ugh. Health -

"Hey, Amy!"

Sonic stood in the doorway,Knuckles holding it open from behind. They were wearing identical grey t-shirts with the school crest emblazoned on them and staring at me. Something in my chest gave, but my face remained impassive.

"What's up?"

"We're just out of the gym." Sonic explained. 'How was your weekend?"

"Alright." I replied stiffly. Why oh why couldn't I be some happy-go-lucky girl who didn't border on a panic attack over every tiny thing? Why couldn't I smile at them, ask them questions, stand up straight and look more put together than this?

"How was the movie?" He stepped away from the door, brushing against me. I caught a whiff of lime shower gel, energy drink, and something else that was utterly irresistible and unfamiliar, that I could only identify as _boy_.

My teen-girl hormones took over at that point, overriding my mental block. "It was, uh, it was fine" I said, struggling to form a coherent sentence because he just smelled so good, _howww?_

"Watch anymore Game of Thrones?" Knuckles asked, snapping me out of my hormone-induced trance. I shook my head, blushing slightly at being directly addressed by the gruff echidna. "I started Crazy Ex Girlfriend so that kind of took up my time …"

"Oh, Rouge watches that." Knuckles said. "She loves it."

"Yeah, it's really clever. Musical-comedy." I replied.

"Eh, it's not really my thing. I don't like musicals."

"No Knuckles?" Sonic interrupted, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Without warning he opened his mouth and belted out; "Well you know the king's not stupid!"

Knuckles paled. "Oh no."

"But I don't have a clue - "

"Sonic - "

"So don't be so cruel Joseph!" Sonic sang - I think that he was doing some sort of Elvis impression but it was honestly so terrible that I couldn't tell. "Help me I beg of you!"  
He finished his number by doing a weird sort of pelvic-thrust and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. I giggled nervously. Sonic grinned. Knuckles punched him in the arm.

"Hey!" Sonic yelped.

"What happens in 8th Grade stays in 8th Grade, Sonic." Knuckles growled. "We don't talk about _Dreamcoat._ "

"I'm just messing, Knucklehead." Sonic said, still rubbing his arm. "It was a wonderful performance! We watched the DVD this weekend and Sonia said your rhinestone ensemble was, to quote, _adorable_."

"I am going to kill you."

Sonic ignored the threat and turned to me.

"Where are you headed, Amy?"

"French. I have Monsieur D'Coolette." I replied lightly. I couldn't get over what had just happened, the total absence of restraint that he'd exhibited. How did he do it? How did anybody do it?

"Do you know the way?" Knuckles asked. I shook my head.

"My Geometry class is en route, if you want to walk with me." Sonic told me.

"Oh no, it's fine -

"It's literally two doors down, Amy." Sonic laughed. "You coming, Knuckles? You've Geography, don't you?"

"Yeah, but I'd better find Rouge. She left her charger at my house yesterday and I need to give it back to her. And," he added menacingly, "I need to decide what I'm going to do to you for bringing up Joseph."

"Of course," Sonic said graciously. Knuckles gave him the evil-eye.

"I'll see ya Amy." Knuckles said gruffly, shouldering past Sonic on his way out. Sonic pulled a toxic-looking energy drink from his bag and chugged. Imade a point of not looking at him.

I don't know, there was something kind of unsettling about being alone with a guy. Not that I'd had much (read:any) experience with that.

Not that I even thought of Sonic like that.

He was just nice.

And mildly attractive.

And smelled really really good.

"Coming?" Sonic asked, his head cocked towards the door. I nodded and we set off together in silence. I didn't know if I should say something or not, or if I should say something what that something should be. Did he expect me to say something? He seemed content enough to just walk, with that absent-minded smile of his fixed in place. Was it a genuine smile? Or was this all just politeness and social cues that I didn't understand?

He led me through some double doors and up a flight of stairs. The walls were covered in student replicas of famous paintings - I spotted Cosmo's name written underneath a gorgeous imitation of Van Gogh's Sunflowers. Tails was right; she was definitely the most talented artist there.

"Are you doing art?" Sonic asked.

"No, not at all."

"Oh. Those sketches were pretty cool."

"They were silly." I blushed. "Just out of boredom. I'm not really into art."

"Yeah? Well, what are you into?"

"Huh?"

"What do you do in your spare time?"

"Um - mess around online. I read a lot, fantasy, romance, that sort of thing. I really like fashion."

"So what elective classes do you take?" Sonic asked. 

"Home Ec. French, obviously. History - "

"Oh yeah. You're in my class." he grinned. "Last period today."

"Yeah …"

"We're doing a module on Soleanna at the minute. Did you cover it in your old school?"

I shook my head. "We were meant to be looking at Submerbia after the Summer holidays, but I didn't go back to school because of the move."

"Makes sense." Sonic nodded. "Here we are. Social Studies Room."

We came to a halt outside the classroom door, where a handful of other students were gathered. Some were drinking takeaway coffees. A bright-green hawk glanced up from his phone and looked at Sonic.

"Hey Sonic, you ready for track later?"

"Born ready, Jet." Sonic grinned.

"Yeah, well, we'll see about that …" Jet muttered mutinously. Sonic raised an eyebrow at me, as if he wanted me to share a joke with him. I didn't get it though, and felt far too self-conscious to try.

"Thanks for helping me." I said awkwardly. Between those eyes and his shower-gel, it was a miracle that I could say anything at all.

"No worries, Amy."

 

There was a brief pause.

"I'll see you at lunch then?" he prompted.

"Oh -"

(Did that mean that he wanted to see me?)

(Or was he just being nice?)

"I really can't recommend the chilli dogs enough."

I couldn't help but smile. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Cool."

Another pause.

"Well, I should get going. See ya later, Amy."

"See you, Sonic." I replied. He walked away. I watched him until he reached his own classroom but he didn't look back. He stopped at a door a little way down the hall. The only student that I recognised was Sally Acorn, who Sonic stood beside. He said something to her which made her laugh, raking a hand through his quills -

The bell rang.

My classroom door opened with a click revealing the form of Monsieur D'Coolette – a youngish coyote with an upturned nose and decidedly parted hair. I followed my classmates in - Jet was still muttering furiously under his breath. I took seat near the back of the room. There wasn't a lot of chat, it being 9.00 AM on a Monday morning, but that suited me fine.

"Bonjour tout le monde."

"Bonjour Monsieur." came the half-hearted response.

Coolette glanced down at his attendance sheet.

"Ah, bienvenue, Mademoiselle Rose."

"Oh, uh, thanks. Merci." I flushed.  
He winced slightly at my attempt at an accent and thankfully didn't ask me to say anything else, instead moving swiftly on with the lesson.

"Maintenant, nous devons finir les exercises et ensuite nous – "

He droned on as everybody sluggishly pulled out their books. Most of them weren't even trying to look interested in the subjunctive tense; the lilac-haired mongoose at the desk next to mine was scrawling song lyrics on the cover of her French book.

Me?

I counted down the hours until lunchtime. I had a lot to mull over.

(x x x)

  
Here's the thing.

I knew that my feelings are irrational. I knew that it's not "normal" to dissect every second word somebody uses, or to rehearse how to walk up to my locker in my head, or to start crying because I don't know what to say to somebody. I don't exactly enjoy dissociating in the shower, or having a borderline panic attack every ten minutes … and I know that nine times out of ten, those responses are totally unjustified.

But it wasn't as simple as mind over matter. It was my mind that was sending me on this spiral in the first place. That was the most frustrating part - the fact that it was literally all in my head.

For the rest of the morning the only thing that I could think about was the chance I'd missed out on … no matter what hypothetical horrors might have befallen me, the facts were that I had never enjoyed myself as much as I had last Friday.  
No group of people had ever made me feel so welcome, and certainly nobody had made as much of an effort with me as Maria and Sonic had.

I was scared.

Terrified even.

But I didn't know if I could let it go just yet. I'd had a taste, and I needed more. Maybe the next bite wouldn't be as sweet, but I had to try.

I got my chance at the end of Health Class.

The room emptied as everyone made their way to the cafeteria - everyone except Silver and Blaze. I hung back at my desk, watching them. Silver was furiously scribbling down the remaining notes on pheromones that were on the board while Blaze was perched on his desk, reading the book that she'd hidden under her notes at the start of class and had stolen glances at every few minutes.

(I totally hadn't been staring at her all throughout class, what)

I wasn't sure if they'd noticed me or not. I busied myself putting my pencils and books back into my bag, taking slightly longer than was maybe totally necessary, as I tried to figure out my plan of action.

I could just walk right past them.

I could very easily do that and have it look natural. Maybe smile as I passed was very much a possibility, if all else failed – if say, they didn't acknowledge me as I approached them, or suddenly left the room before I did without even noticing me.

That would certainly be anticlimactic.

That was the safe option … but was it satisfying?

The answer was no.

I'd been brave last week.

New school, new me.

I walked tentatively towards their desk. Blaze's ears pricked up almost immediately and she turned around, her eyes wide behind her glasses. "Amy, hi!"

"Hey," I replied. Silver's head twitched but he didn't look up from his copy. racked my brains for something intelligent to say.  
Blank.

"How was your weekend?" I asked lamely, after a silence that seemed to last a fraction too long. It was the best that I could come up with under pressure.

"Alright. I had a Geography presentation this morning so I was really just working away on that."

"Oh? How did that go?"

"It was fine." she said. There was a finality to her tone that sent a fresh wave of sheer panic rushing through me. Had I offended her? Was mentioning her class a mistake?

Maybe it hadn't gone well at all and now she thought that I was totally insensitive -

"Done!" Silver exclaimed, throwing his pen down onto the table. "Finally!"

He looked around jovially at me.

"She forgot to tell you that she finally joined the rest of the world and started watching Game of Thrones." he said.

"Silver, for the last time," Blaze sighed. "I've. Read. The. Books."

Silver pretended that he hadn't heard this. He shoved his notebook into his bag and flung it over his shoulder, nearly hitting Blaze's face in the process.

"Silver!" she yelped, jumping from the table. "Careful!"

"Sorry," he cringed. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Blaze said coolly, picking up her own bag. "Shall we go?"

Silver nodded, looking mildly furious with himself. They took a few steps towards the door, and then Blaze looked back over her shoulder at me. "Amy? Are you coming?"

My heart leapt in my chest. I practically skipped out the door with them but (thankfully) caught myself in time because uh, mortifying. I settled for walking. I brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and tried to assemble my features into something resembling a casual expression. Just walking down the hall with some people, nothing to see here, nothing to get excited about, no biggie.

Silver was still interrogating Blaze.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm sure."

"Really?"

"Yes"

"Okay. Because - "

"Silver," Blaze said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm fine. Trust me."

He didn't look all-that reassured, but Blaze had moved on. "How was your weekend, Amy?"

"Oh, uh, it was pretty good." I replied. I struggled to think of something to add, any interesting detail at all. An image of Sonic and I standing outside the shop on Friday night flashed into my mind. Was that really it?

"I bet it was pretty frantic," Blaze said sympathetically. "It was the same when we moved here. We were living on takeaways for weeks."

"You're not from here?"

"No, I lived in Soleanna until I was eleven," she explained. "Dad had to move for work, so we came with him. Good thing we did too, or I wouldn't have met this one." She cocked her head towards Silver, smiling semi-sheepishly, and I knew that she was trying to, in her own understated way, apologise for being short with him. Silver physically relaxed under her warm gaze.

"A really good thing," he echoed softly.

"Oh please," Blaze teased. "You only keep me around because I help you with your homework."

"That just isn't true."

"Uh-huh."

"How the sweet lady's words doth wound me," Silver cried, placing his hand over his heart. "How could she think this of me? What kind of knave does she take me for?"

"The male kind."

"What? My lady, I will have you know that a champion of chivalry like myself would never - "

"You are so naive," Blaze said, shaking her head.

"Alas! Oh woe is me -

"Don't let him fool you, Amy. Guys only want one thing. Help with their English assignments." Her eyes sparkled even as she said it, and for all of Silver's pantomime, his smile was so wide that I was worried about his face splitting in half.

There was something so natural about them, an easy, enviable chemistry. I could already tell that Blaze was a lot more reserved than either Maria or Rouge. Silver brought out a lightness in her.

"How long have you two been dating?" I asked. Silver's gaze dropped down to his feet.

"Oh, we're not a couple." Blaze replied nonchalantly.  
  
"I'm sorry!" I squealed.

"It's fine, Amy." Blaze smiled. "There aren't actually any couples in the group, apart from Shadow and Maria."

"Knuckles and Rouge have a bit of a thing going - "

"But you didn't hear that from us."

"They'd rather pretend that it isn't happening when it's not happening, if you catch my drift."

"I … think so?"

"But to answer your question," Blaze continued. "Silver and I are just friends."

"Best friends." Silver confirmed in a strange voice. I glanced at him, but he wasn't looking at me. His glassy yellow eyes were fixed on his so-called 'best friend'. He wasn't exactly subtle. But then he clearly didn't need to be, if the blank expression on Blaze's face was anything to go by.

I felt a twinge of pity for him. I'd read enough fanfiction to have an understanding of how utterly painful unrequited love could be.  
Silver brightened up when we got to the lunch queue and he saw that soydogs were on the menu. Blaze picked a tuna salad. I took a cup of soup and a bread roll. I didn't trust my ability to keep a meal down in my current state – I felt like I was at the top of a roller-coaster, my chest clenched, my stomach turning …

I followed Silver and Blaze to the tables at the back where the rest of their gang were sitting. Maria was resting her head on Shadow's shoulder. Tails and Tikal seemed to be mid-argument. Knuckles and Rouge were both absent. Sonic wasn't there either.

I'll see you at lunch.

Blaze took a seat beside Cream. Silver squeezed past Cosmo and sat on Blaze's other side. Tails was next to Cosmo, directly facing Tikal. He looked up at me as I approached the table.

"Amy!" he exclaimed. "Settle a debate! Pineapple on pizza, yay or nay?"  
"Um – "

"It's a yay, Tails." Tikal sighed. "We've established this"

"The three of them have to vote." Tails retorted. "Guys? Help me out here?"

"It's alright." Silver shrugged.

"I think it's unpleasant, personally, but I won't begrudge anybody who wants to eat it - " Blaze began.

"That counts." Tails said, before Tikal could even open her mouth. "It's up to you, Amy. "

"I'm with Blaze," I said apologetically. "It's kind of gross."

Tails groaned.

"Amy, you're safe. Blaze, you can stay, but you're on thin ice." Tikal smirked. "Sit down!"

Maria lifted her head from Shadow's shoulder and moved a few inches away from him. "You can sit here, Amy!" she smiled.  
I gratefully took the seat.

"How are you?" Maria asked.

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"I'm great! But these two are driving me crazy." she laughed, looking over at the still-bickering Tikal and Tails.

"What do you even know about pizza, Tikal? You're a vegan." -

"Why do you have to be so hateful? Just let me live." - 

I popped a piece of bread in my mouth to stop myself from laughing. Okay. So far so good.

"Tikal is so like her brother, though she'd never admit it." Maria said. "It's a good thing he's not here. One Pacha sibling is enough for any debate."

"Where is he? Did he go home?"

"No, he and Rouge went into town for lunch. How were your classes?" Maria asked.

"Alright. I had French with Monsieur D'Coolette this morning."

"Ah, I had him last year!" Maria smiled. "He was lovely. But I'm in the AP class this year."

"Oh wow, really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm almost fluent. My mum was French. I don't really need to study it, but it's nice doing a subject I'm good at - makes a change from Home Economics!" she giggled. I laughed with her, remembering our absolute disaster of a pie.

"Did you get looking at the homework?" I asked her. Maria blinked. Remembrance dawned on her face.

"I knew that I'd forgotten something. Flip." Maria groaned, plonking her head down on the table - Shadow spun around after hearing the soft thud her head made.

"Maria!" he cried. I suddenly realised that he was the only person at the table whose voice I hadn't heard yet. He was very much the 'strong and silent' type. Could he be more of a YA male love interest cliche?

"I'm fine, Shad." she said. "Just having a breakdown over all of the homework I have tonight. I completely lost track of things this weekend."

"Oh, were you busy or …?" I trailed off. Was this an appropriate time for small talk? Was that a weird question? Was it better to ask specific questions or leave it vague?

"Just ballet practice. Amy, what did we have for English Lit?"

"Um, three questions on The Scarlet Letter."

"Is that all?"

"I think so."

"I've that done at least," she sighed, clearly relieved. She lifted her head from the table.

"We have a test in Mobian Government tomorrow." Silver chipped in.

Maria's face fell - both figuratively and literally down onto the table.

"We're getting our World History tests back today." Cream said fearfully.

"You'll be fine," Blaze told her, flicking her tail dismissively. "You had my notes."

Cosmo and Cream didn't look entirely convinced. Maria hadn't raised her head from the table.

"What's up Maria?"

Sonic had appeared at last, wearing a hoodie over his school sweats. He was looking down at Maria with an amused expression.

"Schoolwork is getting to her." I told him, before blushing furiously. Gah. I felt like everybody was staring at me all of a sudden (yes that obviously wasn't true - Tails was checking his phone, Shadow was stroking Maria's hair, Blaze had pulled out her book.)

(Sonic wasn't looking at me either.)

"Come on Maria, it can't be that bad." he said, scooching in between Cosmo and Tails.

(Not that I wanted him to. Or cared. Really.)

(It just felt … weird.)

(Had I seemed so boring earlier that he couldn't even acknowledge me now?)

(Was this going to keep happening?)

(I'd struggled with Silver and Blaze. I didn't know what to say to Maria. I hadn't spoken to anybody else either.)

My worry had always been that people would find me annoying if I rambled on, or that they'd think that I was shy and feel sorry for me and therefore obliged to be nice to me, but what if they genuinely thought that I was dull?

(Stupid)

"- Amy?"

Cream was smiling at me. Silence had fallen over the table - everyone was actually staring at me this time, Sonic included. My cheeks reddened when I realised that Cream had been trying to ask me something.

"Huh?"

"You zoned out for a second." Tails said. "You're as bad as Cosmo."  
The pretty seedrian smiled sheepishly. "Guilty as charged. My mother used to tie balloons to my wrist when we took me shopping as a child because I was always wandering off on my own."

"That sounds like Earthia alright." Tails laughed. Tikal snorted into her quinoa casserole.

"I was asking how your day was?" Cream repeated, her brown eyes wide and earnest and utterly adorable, seriously.

"Pretty good. "But hey, you're a freshman right? How are you finding it?"

"It's an adjustment. But I'm enjoying it! It helps when you know everybody already."

"Yeah …" I said awkwardly.

"I was telling Amy how we've all known each other for years." Maria explained. "It must be a change from the city. There's so many people."

"You can disappear so easily." Cosmo said, sounding a little awed.

"It must be nice living somewhere where everybody you meet isn't on first name terms with your grandmother." Tikal sighed.

"How is Nocturna?" Blaze asked innocently. Tikal rolled her eyes. 

"It would be great to live in Mobius," Tails agreed. "There's a fascinating exhibition on aerodynamics at the Xorda Centre at the minute, Amy, I don't know if you've - ?"

"Tails, not everybody is as interested in engineering as you are." Cosmo said gently. "We can't all be geniuses."

"You're making an overstatement," Tails told her, his cheeks pink. Cosmo smiled when she noticed this, clearly delighting in her friends mildly-chuffed embarrassment.

"Cosmo, I saw your Sunflowers painting on the stairs," I piped up. "It was absolutely amazing."

Cosmo's pale skin reddened and she turned her eyes down to the table-top. Cream nodded fervently in agreement.

"It's wonderful!"

"I told you she was talented," Tails grinned, happy that the tables were turned.

"Thank you, Amy." Cosmo said in a voice that was little more than a whisper. Was it bad that I found it reassuring to see somebody else feeling awkward for once?

"Did you see mine?" Tikal wanted to know. "It was the one with the wonky-looking vase and spill in the corner."

"No, but it sounds great." I laughed.

"It's a masterpiece." Cosmo confirmed, nodding solemnly.

I snorted into my soup. My eyes flickered over towards Sonic. I watched him interact with everyone, seamlessly insert himself into the midst of what was happening - he ruffled Tails' hair, quipped with Blaze, spoke cordially to Cream and Cosmo. He eventually caught my eye. 

"Hey Amy, where's the chilli dogs?" he asked, gesturing towards my lunch-tray.

"Oh …" I looked down at my soup. "Oops?"

Sonic shook his head in mock despair. "Disappointing."

Maria's own high-pitched giggle joined my nervous laugh. Blaze was helping Cream with the end of her homework assignment. Silver and Shadow were talking to each other about a TV show they both watched. Cosmo was showing Tails and Tikal something on her phone. Sonic smiled at me. Maria, still laughing, rested her head briefly on my shoulder. I resisted the urge to flinch at the unexpected physical contact and let my laughter wash over me, letting myself relax, happy in the knowledge that this feeling of belonging wasn’t in my head.


	6. Note To Self

I walked self-consciously into Mr Oak's classroom, shrinking under his stony-faced expression. I was possibly a little less on time than I should have been. I'd gone to the bathroom between classes but a gaggle of Seniors were gossiping and I had to wait for them to leave so that I could pee in peace.

It wasn't a large class, even by Station Square's standards. I immediately spotted Blaze in the front row, and Sally's friend from the other day sitting by the window, trying to look like she didn't have earbuds tucked underneath her hoodie. There were less than ten other students in the room, including Sonic who was sitting in the second row. When he saw me he smiled and gestured to the empty seat beside him. I looked away.

Agh.

It figured that my anxiety would choose this precise moment to make a reappearance. You thought you were rid of me? You fool! Mwahahaha!

I didn't know why my internal monologue sounded like Maleficent but I decided not to question it as I slid down into my chair. I didn't know if I should look at Sonic or not – would it be weird after we'd spent the morning together? Was that too much for him? After the chilli-dog comment at lunch he hadn't really spoken to me, sparring with Knuckles and ruffling Tails' hair.

Not that I'd been watching him or anything.

I'd actually had a great time. Blaze and Maria had been really sweet.

Maria offered me some of her carrot sticks (I could see how she stayed so thin, her lunches always consisted of leafy greens and pieces of fruit) and squealed when I told her that I'd spent the weekend watching The Little Mermaid with my little sister. Blaze included me in the conversation that she and Silver were having about Game of Thrones (Silver, though perfectly nice to me, had seemed just a tad disappointed over not having Blaze's undivided attention. I tried not to let myself spiral. I knew it was because he liked her. Or the rational part of me did anyway.)

Blaze had actually smiled at me when she saw me walk in, but she was already sitting next to someone. Mr Oak's steely eyed glare was still fixed on me, so I awkwardly slid into the spare seat beside Sonic.

"Don't worry, you haven't missed anything." he whispered. I smiled into my schoolbag, where I was rummaging around for a blank copy. I'd need to sort out my stationary situation at some point. I had about two pens to my name.

The final bell sounded and Mr Oak launched straight into a monologue on the Solaris Project. I normally really enjoyed history - I just thought of it as stories - but I couldn't focus. I was just so conscious of Sonic sitting beside me. I sat stiffly. I didn't know how I was supposed to act now. I didn't want to seem too familiar - we'd shared two casual (and largely one-sided) conversations, it was hardly the friendship-of-the-century. I didn't even know if it constituted as any sort of friendship. Everyone had been equally as nice to me as Sonic had, I'd just happened to see him around more than them.

That was why I was overthinking it.

Not because I was so romantically and sexually starved that I'd developed an infatuation on the first cute boy to be halfway nice to me, ha ha, noo.

(well, maybe a little)

I couldn't stop noticing him, leaning back in his chair, half-smiling, taking his notes without ever looking away from the board. The room was filled with the scratching sound of pen on paper and Mr Oak's voice. He was clearly one of those teachers who taught to hear the sound of their own voice, not because they actually wanted to teach. Someone coughed. Sonic drummed his pen against the desk. The girl behind me hummed tunelessly under her breath.

The noises seemed deafening.

All of a sudden I was no longer aware of just Sonic, but of everyone in the room. Maybe it was the fact that it was a smaller class group so I stood out even more than I already did by virtue of being the new girl. Maybe I was just a little more aware of my surroundings since I hadn't been thinking about them throughout most of my lunch break. But it was all just too much for me now.

So I fell back into my tried-and-tested method of coping. I imagined myself floating away from the room, aimlessly ethereal, until I fell through the window and into the air, unbound by gravity or the anxieties that weighed on my mind.

I wasn't me.

I wasn't anyone or anything. I barely even existed like this.

Which was just how I liked it.

Something nudged my shoulder, startling me, sending me crashing back down to earth . My knee banged against the desk, sending a sharp, sudden pain through my leg. Mr Oak stopped mid-sentence to glower at me.

"Sorry!" I mumbled, mortified. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I sank further down into my seat, the back of my neck burning.

Mr Oak cleared his throat. "As I was saying, since Soleanna was not under the protection of the Guardian Units - "

I wanted to die. I looked down at my desk - and right at a folded over sheet of paper.

Huh?

What was - ?

I glanced over at Sonic. He was looking straight at me. He raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly at the paper on my desk.

For me?

Mr Oak was still droning on. I slowly slid the paper down onto my lap and tried to open it as discretely as possible. My palms felt weirdly sweaty. I didn't know why I was so nervous. What did I expect to see? A crude sexual drawing? Hate mail? A death threat? A personal question probing at the route of my childhood trauma? Or (the fangirl inside me screamed) a middle-school esque 'Do you like me?' note with three boxes for my three potential answers?

I actually didn't know which of these possibilities filled me with the most amount of dread.

He'd folded the sheet over so many times that it was a bit of an obstacle to unravel it, made even worse by my shaking hands.

But, in the words of those fake-deep tumblr blogs, 'nevertheless she persisted' or whatever. When I finally had it open on my lap I examined it - it was hard to decipher the untidy slanted scrawl.

How are you finding class?

Relief washed over me. Relief and also - disappointment? Followed by a fresh wave of nervousness - gotta love that emotional rollercoaster. Was I overreacting or was the tone a little … off? Had I done something wrong? Was he embarrassed to be sitting next to the girl who had freaked out and been glared at by the teacher?

I looked back at him. He was back to taking down his own notes. I suddenly realised that I hadn't written down anything myself in the last ten minutes and I was completely lost. Oh well, that's what Crash Course was for.

But it was annoying - I wanted to tell him that it was fine, nothing to worry about, sorry for bothering you, but he wasn't looking at me and I didn't want to distract him further - he probably didn't have the time to watch John Green make puns all night. Was I supposed to touch his shoulder or …?

Nope. Nope. That was a big old pile of nope right there. Not happening.

I looked down at the sheet again.

Well.

I grabbed my pen and scribbled a hasty response. Fine! Sorry for making a scene! I tossed it onto his lap without looking at him.

''The primary base seems to have been a high-tech aquatic laboratory complex situated beneath the waters of Kingdom Valley - ''

I devoted half of my brain to what Mr Oak was saying, just enough so that I could take down some coherent notes. The rest of my attention span was directed at Sonic. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, feeling like an utter cliche - who even passed notes in class anymore, in this, the year 2018? Though it wasn't as if he had my phone number or anything. Though people didn't really seem to text anymore either. I wasn't social-media savvy enough for that minefield though. I didn't even have a Facebook profile-picture.

I watched Sonic set down his pen, picked up his water bottle and took a swig from it, while unfolding the crumpled sheet of paper under the desk with his free hand. Smooth.

Sonic would never bang against a desk so loudly that the teacher stopped delivering a class just to glare at him.

Why was I so useless?

His eyes scanned the short sentence. I noticed his brow furrow slightly. He turned to look at me - my eyes shot back towards the board. I tried to play it cool but my face betrayed me - I just knew that my cheeks had gone the same shade as my hair.

Don't look around, don't look around, don't look around.

I could feel his eyes on me. I sat frozen in my chair. I couldn't even lift my pen - I felt like I was under a spotlight. It was like being Tree No. 5 all over again.

I glanced at the clock on the wall - only six minutes left. Then I could go home, to my haven of cornflakes and Crazy-Ex Girlfriend. I could finish reading that Malec prompt collection. I might even look at my Algebra homework.

Something landed on my knee. The sheet of paper. My heart sank as I read what was written on it.

What do you mean?

What did he mean? Did he really want me to have to say it all? I was embarrassed enough as it was. I know, I know that it's stupid, okay? Like, I knew that. It was just … really hard to make my brain understand. Especially when knowing that what I was feeling was totally irrational made me feel even more anxious about feeling irrational.

" - have it on my desk by the end of the week." Mr Oak concluded. He waved us away as the bell sounded. Blaze walked past our desk, offering me another polite smile as she rushed out the door. I shoved all of my belongings into my schoolbag and leapt from my seat.

"Hey, Amy!"

Sonic's voice stopped me in my tracks. He was looking at me with a concerned expression.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

"Really? You seem a little …"

I blushed furiously. "Sorry! No, just, yeah, I'm sorry about making a scene."

"What are you talking about?" He looked completely bemused. "Is your leg okay?"

"What?"

"When you banged it. It sounded like it hurt."

"Oh …" I faltered, thrown at a loop. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

I nodded, tugging self-consciously at my bag straps. Sonic got up from his seat, swinging his bag over one shoulder. We ended up walking out of the classroom together.

"I'm sorry about scaring you," Sonic said, coming to a halt outside the door. He smiled awkwardly. "I just wanted to know how you were getting on."

"Oh."

Why couldn't I just respond to a simple statement like a halfway functional person? Why did people being nice to me surprise me so much?

(-because you're a terrible person who ruins everything you touch, you complete and utter bitch, you don't even deserve to exist, everyone would be so much better of if -)

"I'm fine! It's all good."

"Great, because I didn't have a clue what was going on there." he grinned.

I smiled nervously, brushing a strand of hair back from my face. "It went a little over my head as well."

"Yeah?"

I nodded again.

"Maybe we could study together sometime - "

My heart skipped a beat.

"Blaze and I did that last year, the three of us could try it out."

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds great!" I said, sounding semi-enthusiastic. That rush of relief and agony washed over me once again.

"So … how was your day?" Sonic asked.

"Um, good, yeah." I replied. We were still standing outside the doorway. Everyone else had left and the hallway was largely empty, but I still felt … exposed.

A feeling not helped by Sonic's adorable smile and brilliant green eyes …

Ugh. I'd be comparing them to emeralds or something any second now.

"Well, I'd better get going. I've got track now. See ya." he said, beginning to step away. I waited for him to remember our conversation this morning - Jet's mutinous glare, the way Sonic had rolled his eyes and smiled at me, as if we were sharing some sort of inside joke. I waited for the flippant comment - "Can't keep Jet waiting, after all!" , the glimmer in his eyes as he waited to see my response. And I'd giggle in a way in a semi-shy-but-super-adorable kind of way and his grin would widen. We'd walk to track together and he'd do most of the talking, but I'd be happy just to listen for a while. Maybe once we got down to the field we'd run into someone else - Maria or Rouge or Silver - and we'd chat to them for a while, and I'd make the perfect quip at the perfect moment and they'd all burst out laughing. I'd be solidified in their minds as something more than the socially awkward new girl they'd had lunch with once or twice.

In just that brief flash I could see the moment so clearly in my mind, like a scene from a movie I'd seen a thousand times.

But then I blinked.

Sonic was moving past me, his eyes somewhere - on someone? - further down the hall.

It's for the best.

Let him go.

You're better off alone.

The beginning of a lump started to form in my throat. I didn't want to be alone. Not really. Not rationally.

I said it on the first day - new year, new school, new me.

In the last four days I'd taken more risks than I'd taken in my life. Sitting with a crowd of new people, talking to them, pairing up with Maria in Home Economics, making small talk with Sonic and Manic, initiating a conversation with Silver and Blaze …

I turned to watch Sonic walk down the hall and then, impulsively, uncontrollably, I cried out -

"Hey! What was the homework assignment?"

The strength of my voice surprised me. Sonic looked at me and I turned my gaze down to the ground. "Sorry," I added weakly.

"It was an essay," he said. "There's this page he uses, hold on - "

He pulled his phone out of his pocket, looked at it, and made a face. "Out of juice."

"Oh, that sucks." I said sympathetically. "Hey, don't worry about the link - "

"No, hey - I can send you it on Snapchat or something, okay?"

"Oh, uh …"

I didn't know how to tell them that I didn't actually have an account on any social media platform apart from Facebook, and I didn't even use that very much on account of my cousin Rosy who kept sending me requests to play Words With Friends.

(Okay yeah, I had a tumblr, but you didn't exactly go around sharing your URL name with people. It was embarrassing. I was embarrassed just being on tumblr sometimes. I participated in the Mishapocalypse. I literally have nightmares about it.)

"It's Amelia Rose, yeah? Is that your name on Facebook?"

I nodded.

"Cool. I'll add you tonight." he started to back away, still grinning. "I'll see ya!"

"Yeah - see ya!" I echoed, my heart fluttering.

I didn't watch him leave this time - I turned in the opposite direction, towards the door out. I didn't know what I had in my bag, or what I needed for my homework, but I didn't have the time to go to my locker.

It was time that I joined the rest of my generation and learned how to actually use social media.


	7. What's On Your Mind?

What's on your mind, Amy Rose?

Where did I begin?

I pulled my laptop closer towards me and studied my Facebook profile page, trying (and failing) to look at it objectively. There were a couple of photos of me from my aunt's page, awkward group photos from family events. The most recent one was over a year old. Mum and Aunt June stood side by side. They'd have looked identical if it weren't for June's mauve-coloured fur. Abigail hugged mum's legs. She was wearing the pink dress she'd loved so much. She cried on and off for days on end when she outgrew it.

Then there was me and my cousin Rosy. We looked similar as well, with green eyes and pink hair. Beyond that? Rosy's makeup was impeccable, her hair was well-brushed, and the black dress that she was wearing hugged her perfect figure. I wore a similar dress, but I'd purposefully bought one that was a size too big. It looked as shapeless on me as it had on the hanger. I was slouching as well. My parting wasn't even. It looked like I'd applied my eyeliner with my thumbs. I wasn't even smiling - just staring uncomfortably at the camera with a mournful expression.

I hastily clicked untag. Phew.

I still needed a profile picture though. I helped up my phone experimented with angles, with expressions, but I was a complete novice when it came to this sort of thing. I don't know - I'd seen Rosy's selfies and other girls, pouting at the camera or posing for would-be candids and they always looked amazing. I just looked awkward. This was precisely why I didn't take photographs of myself. The camera and I really didn't get along with each other.

Nevertheless, there was something vaguely ominous about having a blank icon - it looked like I had something to hide. Which I did. The fact that I wasn't at all photogenic. Still. I sighed, and turned back to my camera.

There was a sudden creak as my bedroom door slowly opened, revealing Abigail. She smiled innocently at me. In theory she was supposed to knock on my door so she wouldn't disturb me when I was 'studying' but she hadn't gotten used to the idea yet - we'd shared a space for far too long.

"Amy?"

"Yeah babs?" I sighed. "Not watching your show?"

She shook her head. "Can I play on Candy Crush on your phone?"

"Uh yeah, sure thing." She flopped down onto my bed. I handed it to her and and pulled my laptop closer. My cursor hovered over the search bar - should I?

I mean - it wasn't weird. Was it?

I'd hung out with them all before …

We were in the same school …

What was the harm?

I typed Maria Robotnik into the search bar before I could stop myself. Hey, she might give me some inspiration for my own profile picture. I expected to see a silly snap or a sickeningly-sweet selfie with Shadow, but I was greeted by a rather professional looking black-and-white photograph of her standing onstage. Her blonde hair was held back in a sleek updo and she was dressed in an elegant tutu. She stood on one leg, the other stretched out behind her, practically level with her hips. Turned to the side, she was reaching out in front of her with one arm while the other was extended slightly. I clicked onto her profile-page which was full of clips from various professional ballet productions and group-photos with the rest of the gang. Shadow wasn't tagged in any of them, though he was always there with his arm around Maria's waist.

But I found the others.

Blaze's profile wasn't bursting with content, the occasional Jane Austen meme or reposted Upworthy article. Silver had liked every one of her posts that I could see. His profile picture was actually one of the two of them, a candid taken by a third party. It was objectively a much better photo of her than it was of him - she was dressed casually in a deep purple sweater which suited her wonderfully and she was smiling. Silver's mouth open and he'd been caught mid-blink.

The guy had it bad. It was really adorable.

Okay yes, the friend-zone is an invention of the patriarchy men weren't entitled to sex because they showed a woman basic decency, women didn't owe men anything.

But still.

It didn't seem like it was like that with Silver and Blaze.

But maybe I was wrong.

I'd just read a lot of fanfiction okay? I couldn't help it!

Rouge's profile was a sultry selfie, showing off a lot of her … errr. I didn't know how to put it delicately. Boobs? Tits? Cleavage? Her ample bosom? (Calm down Amy, she's not a cheerful Victorian barmaid with a heart of gold and questionable morals). She looked awesome anyway, oozing utter self confidence. Her makeup page was linked in her bio - I made a mental note to check it out. Knuckles had a picture of him and Tikal standing by some ruins in the sunshine, clearly on their holidays, as his profiler. His only other picture was a gym selfie. Tikal's profile page was full of SJW material and photographs of her and a girl that I didn't recognise - a racoon with green eyes and a slightly manic expression. Her name was Marine according to the tag. Cream smiled sweetly in her selfie, a blue-and-yellow chao perched on her shoulder. She'd shared a number of fundraisers for Chao Protection organisations and articles about the importance of service pets. She interacted a lot with someone called Charmy, who'd tagged her in various wholesome memes. Cosmo had photographed herself wearing tinted sunglasses with rounded lenses. Her entire profile screamed art-hoe. Tails' profile picture was of him shaking hands with the principal of our school, holding onto a plaque for some academic achievement award. There was a small heart in the corner of the picture - pink and blue with a white stripe in the middle. I'd definitely seen it before. The rest of his page was on private.

I was beginning to feel like a complete and utter weirdo. I knew from the internet that people did this all the time, Facebook stalking or whatever, but it was all new to me. I felt like I was invading their privacy which was ridiculous. It was all public information.

Oh God. This was probably how it started for all of those internet creeps on Catfish or something. One day you're clicking through a couple of photos, the next you're on the receiving end of a restraining order.

At any rate, I was clearly getting too invested. Maybe that was why I'd been consciously avoiding clicking on Sonic Webster's profile …

"Say cheese!"

Abigail's voice snapped me out of my trance. I looked away from the glaring light of my laptop screen and at my little sister, who was gleefully taking pictures of me.

"Abigail!" I cried, snatching my phone from her. "Stop!"

"Why?" she moaned.

"It's my phone, okay? My rules." I was already deleting the photographs, selecting them all at once so I didn't have to look at each one individually. "Hmph!" Abigail pouted, crossing her arms and sticking out her lower lip. I rolled my eyes but couldn't resist smiling. That child. "Hey, come here. We can take some together. You just have to ask first, okay?"

She scrambled over towards me. I turned on the camera and held the phone out in front of us. "Ready? Smile!" I asked. Abigail bared her teeth at the camera. I burst out laughing. "I said smile!"

"I am smiling!" she told me through clenched teeth.

I giggled, turning back to the camera. I took the photo quickly, still thinking about how Abigail looked beside me.

"Lemme see!" she squeaked. I dutifully opened up my photo album (almost entirely made up out of screenshots of long winded tumblr posts and things like my timetable and bus pass). I tapped the photo so that it filled my screen. I was, for lack of a better word, shook. It actually looked alright! looked pretty good? I was far from put together, but I was smiling naturally - it even reached my eyes, lighting them up - as Abigail sat beside me, looking ever-so-slightly deranged but also completely and utterly adorable.

I grinned. This was it. I quickly installed the Facebook app and set it as my profile picture - my first actual profile picture ever.

"Hey Babs, do you want a snack?" I asked. Chemistry homework be damned.

"Grilled cheese." she said automatically. Smart kid.

"I'll make the sandwiches, you find us something to watch."

I closed my laptop, set my phone down on the bed, and the two of us left my bedroom together. But as I waited for the sandwiches to cook, I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he'd found me yet or if he'd sent me a message …

Because I was worried about the homework assignment.

Obviously.

That's what I told myself anyway.

One grilled cheese and three episodes of Sofia the First later, I went back to my phone.

Maria Robotnik, Tails Prower, and eight others have sent you a friend request.

(But nothing from Sonic. Why? Should you add him first? But he specifically said he'd add you. Would it look weird if you did it?)

You added Maria Robotnik, Tails Prower, Blaze Sol, Tikal Pacha, Cosmo Birnbaum, Cream Barony, Silver Telek, Sally Acorn, Jet Swift, and Rouge Minella as friends.

Blaze Sol added you to the group-chat

Blaze Sol: Be nice, guys.

Maria Robotnik: AMY!

Maria Robotnik: *tackle hugs*

Maria Robotnik: (you like hugs, right?)

Tikal Pacha: A++ on the consent front, Maria

Amy Rose: haha you're good!

(okay, relax Amy)

Maria Robotnik: :333

Maria Robotnik: Consent is sexy!

Tikal Pacha: Consent *clap* is *clap* NECESSARY

Cosmo Birnbaum : *clap clap clap*

Tikal Pacha: *clap*

Tails Prower: guys check out this link

Tails Prower: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Tails Prower: also hi amy

Tails Prower: welcome to the madhouse

Amy Rose: Thanks! So, how are you all?

Tikal Pacha: *thumbs up*

Maria Robotnik: Good! How about you? *heart emoji*

Amy Rose: I'm fine!

Tails Prower: did anybody watch my link?

Tikal Pacha: No

Tails Prower: w o w

Tails Prower: W O W

Cosmo Birnbaum: I thought it was cool!

Maria Robotnik: I was talking to Amy, guys …

Tikal Pacha: *thumbs up emoji*

Tails Prower: that emoji always strikes me as really passive aggressive, is that just me?

Cosmo Birnbaum: I don't see it

Tails Prower: that's because you're the least passive-aggressive person that has ever existed

Cosmo Birnbaum: true

Cosmo Birnbaum: I'm just AGGRESSIVE

Tails Prower: sure

Cosmo Birnbaum: it's true

Tails Prower: uh-huh

Cosmo Birnbaum: I'm SCARY!

Maria Robotnik: ooooooooh

Tails Prower: 2spooky4me

Maria Robotnik: Guys, I was thinking …what are we going to do for Halloween?

Cosmo Birnbaum: Mean

Tails Prower: i know

Cosmo Birnbaum: You're lucky I like you

Tails Prower: i know

Tikal Pacha: Guys …

Tikal Pacha: Knuckles is out with Julie-Su.

Cosmo Birnbaum: I see …

Tikal Pacha: Yep

Cosmo Birnbaum: *hugs*

Cosmo Birnbaum: Rouge is going out with someone in Knothole tonight too ...

Blaze Sol: That was supposed to be confidential.

Cosmo Birnbaum: Oh, I'm so sorry! Cream told me!

Blaze Sol: Of course.

Blaze Sol: I just can't say no to those eyes.

Blaze Sol: Which reminds me, how did you all fare on the test?

Tails Prower: oof

Blaze Sol: Oh dear

Cosmo Birnbaum: The less said the better, I think. I hate history.

Blaze Sol: Cosmo, your father is a history teacher.

Tails Prower: he's also 6''5 …

Cosmo Birnbaum: …

Tikal Pacha: Biiig oof

Tikal Pacha: Press F to pay respects

Maria Robotnik: SO AMY

Maria Robotnik: Sorry

Maria Robotnik: So, Amy!

Maria Robotnik: Welcome to the group-chat! Girls+Tails only!

Tails Prower: I'm trans and was part of the girl-group too long to be allowed to leave.

Maria Robotnik: He knew too much

Tails Prower: the whole thing is pretty cisnormative.

That's where I'd seen those colours before.

Tikal Pacha: Amy Rose, I'm sure you're lovely but if any LGBTQ+ stuff is an issue for you … Because I'm bisexual and yeah.

I typed out my response at rapid-fire speed.

Amy Rose: Oh no no no, not at all, sorry! My old school was really open in that regard and basically yeah, it's all great and I really support everything!

I stopped myself before I started sounding like one of those thirteen year olds on tumblr who think they're woke for shipping K-Pop idols.

Blaze Sol: I suppose that a city environment would be more progressive in that sense.

Cosmo Birnbaum: I mean Station-Square isn't that bad either, it's just small so there isn't really a 'gay' scene. Or indeed any scene.

Tikal Pacha: Even the Straights like my brother and his not-a-girlfriend have to go to Knothole …

Maria Robotnik: Ahh ..

Cosmo Birnbaum: I mean, what can you do? You have to let them live their own lives

Maria Robotnik: I know …

Even though I wasn't part of the conversation I didn't actually feel like I was being left out of anything - it was a whole other thing to. Still, I wanted to know more. Knuckles and Rouge were kind of having a thing but also seeing other people and the others didn't like that? Or Maria and Tikal didn't anyway - Tikal because she was Knuckle's sister and probably had some inside knowledge, and Maria because … well, she was in a happy relationship and had been for some time. Projection.

Cosmo Birnbaum: Maybe we shouldn't talk about Rouge's relationships in a group-chat she's in? Though she doesn't really read back.

Tikal Pacha: I'll send memes. Prepare yourselves.

Blaze Sol: Okay, I have a huge test to study for, don't add me back until I'm finished!

Blaze Sol left the group.

Tikal proceeded to send in screenshot after screenshot. I muted the chat. Not because I found it annoying, but because I needed a minute.

Okay. Being added to a group-chat … that meant something, right? I wasn't all that social-media literate, but that must mean something.

I checked my notifications. My profile picture had already received a couple of likes from my new friends. There were two comments.

Rosy Robinson: Abigail's gotten so big! Miss you guys x

Maria Robotnik: Cute!

A rush of warmth ran over me. This is exactly what Gen X journalists were talking about when they wrote clickbaity articles talking about how social media was like a drug and it gave us all a dopamine kick whenever we used it …

But at the same time, I needed all of the dopamine that I could get. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

There was still friend-request from Sonic. I bit my lip. What the hell? Five seconds later I was scrolling through his sporadic posts - shared from LADBible and other people's photos that he'd been tagged in. His profile picture was of him, Manic, and a stunningly pretty pink hedgehog who I could only assume was his sister. They all had the same seemingly effortless smile … but for some reason his still looked the best.

I impulsively went into his tagged-photos album. I wasn't hurting anyone. There were photos of him on the school page, out on the field or standing with the rest of the track team. Mostly group photos. A selfie of him pulling a face next a miffed-looking Blaze. Him and Tails.

There was a formal photo too, from a year ago. Sonic was wearing a shirt and dress pants, a tie hanging loosely from his shoulders. His arm was around an extremely pretty mongoose. Her lilac locks cascaded down her back. Her willowy figure was covered in a strapless black dress and a row of piercings adorned her ear.

Mina Gabrie: Sadie Hawkins! - with Sonic Webster.

I closed the app.

Who was Mina? She'd asked Sonic to a dance … did she like him? Had they been dating? Were they still dating? Did he like her?

You're so fucking stupid.

Oh my God, why did I even care?

My jaw felt stiff. I turned back to chat. The conversation had turned back to Halloween.

Maria Robotnik: Is anyone throwing a party or anything?

Cream Barony: I don't think so, since Homecoming's not long after …

Cream Barony added Blaze Sol back to the chat

Cream Barony: Oh, hi Amy!

Amy Rose: Hi Cream!

Tails Prower: we could all just hang out?

Cosmo Birnbaum: I'm doing stuff with mum on Halloween day is the only thing, we're organising a Pumpkin Carving workshop

Maria Robotnik: OOOOH

Cosmo Birnbaum: Under-tens only I'm afraid, Maria!

Maria Robotnik: *sadface emoji*

Cosmo Birnbaum: I'm kind of with Tails here, last year was great.

Tikal Pacha: We aren't really the 'partying' type …

Baze Sol: No, you're not stealing my act. You guys haven't been to a highschool party yet, you can't make up your minds until you've gone to one.

Maria Robotnik: See? Even Blaze wants to party!

Blaze Sol: That's not what I said.

Maria Robotnik: Okay, I honestly just want an excuse to wear a costume and eat sweets, if you guys want to hang out and do that I am completely on board.

Tails Prower: sounds good

Maria Robotnik: In other news, I have a Mobian Government test tomorrow and Shadow is here to help me study, so I'm switching my phone off for the evening. Byeeee xxxx

Cosmo Birnbaum: Tails, are you coming over for dinner?

Tails Prower: Yeah I'll be there in ten.

Cosmo Birnbaum: Okay!

Tikal Pacha: Gaaaaaay

Tails Prower: no u

Tikal Pacha: NO U

Cosmo Birnbaum: Your mom.

Blaze Sol: I feel old.

Amy Rose: I've got work to do as well but it was nice talking to you all!

Cream Barony: Good luck!

Needless to say I didn't do any chemistry homework. I looked for low-budget Halloween costume inspo online until my mum called me for dinner.

Sonic Webster sent you a friend request (22:09 PM)

I accepted it. Embarrassingly quickly. But I'd barely tapped accept when my phone buzzed, alerting me of a new message.

Sonic Webster : Hey! Sorry it took me a while to get to you. Here's the link! Just put in your name and birthdate and the database will find you and you can make a password. .

Amy Rose: Don't worry about it. Thanks!

Sonic Webster: Happy to be of service!

Leave it at that.

A minute passed. I bit down on my lip, thinking … or maybe I wasn't thinking.

Amy Rose: How was it anyway?

Amy Rose: Track, I mean.

(The risky double-text.)

Seen: 22:17

What did that mean? Was he going to respond?

Sonic Webster: It was fine. I was hanging out with some of the guys afterwards. There's a county-wide meet coming up. You're not into sports, are you?

Amy Rose: Not really, no. I mean they're fine!

What I knew about sports would literally fit on the back of a postage stamp. I was scared of the ball, I was self-conscious about the way that I ran. Why was I doing this?

Sonic Webster: Each to their own. But hey listen, I'm actually about to fall asleep so I'm going to head on now.

Amy Rose: Oh, sorry! I shouldn't have kept you

Sonic Webster: Nah, no worries. I do gotta go though. So, goodnight Amy.

Amy Rose: Goodnight. See you

Sonic Webster: See ya!

The little green dot next to his name disappeared. I let out a deep breath - I hadn't even realised that I'd been holding one in.


	8. Cream Cheese

I woke up to six new friend requests and seventy-three unread messages in the group chat. I scrolled through them all over breakfast, snorting with laughter every once in a while. Abigail glowered at me. She wasn't used to not having my full attention.

"What are you looking at?" she demanded.

"Uh, nothing." I said quickly, stuffing my phone into my jacket pocket, like it was hiding some sort of shameful secret instead of pineapple-pizza discourse - one of those arguments that would go on until the end of time. "Eat up your breakfast, the bus will be here soon."

Within ten minutes I'd rinsed out my bowl, brushed my teeth, put on my make-up, grabbed my bag, and gotten Abigail on the bus to Knothole Elementary (practically shoving her toast in her mouth as we walked out the front door). Mum was still asleep - she didn't have to work until noon and was having a well-deserved lie-in. .My bus arrived shortly after Abigail's left. I sat down on the first available seat, next to a deer in a pink holographic jacket. I spent the six minute bus trip bouncing my leg up and down until finally, the bus stopped outside the doors of the school. I leapt up from my seat, almost tripping out onto the pavement in my eagerness to disembark. I'd put on my nicest pair of Cancer Research black jeans and one of my favourite tops - khaki with red-rose embroidery that I'd actually done myself. Did my ratty old jacket ruin the look? I agonised over this for a millisecond before getting a grip of myself. What was wrong with me? It was a typical Tuesday morning, not Paris Fashion Week.

Except it wasn't all-that typical. I mean yes, my heart was racing, I was tripping over my own feet, and I my head was reeling, but I wasn't experiencing an overwhelming and crushing feeling of dread along with it. Was this excitement? Was this what hope felt like?

As I walked towards the Sophomore locker area I rehearsed what I was going to say if/when I saw any of the others - should you bring up group chat stuff in a real life conversation? Or were they seperate worlds worlds? I'd found out a lot more about everyone from social media than I had in real life - Tails' gender identity, Tikal's sexuality. They'd spoken candidly and matter-of-factly on both fronts, so did that mean it wasn't a big deal? Tails at least was open about his gender-identity and the information must be common knowledge if pretty much everybody in SSH had known each other since childhood. Even so, I wasn't sure what to do with the information. Did it even mean anything? Did it matter? Would I still be talking to them next week?

God I hoped so.

I turned the corner and there they were - Maria, a vision in baby-blue, getting books from her locker, Cream, pulling on the straps of her kanken and listening intently to Rouge, who was making a lot of exaggerated facial expressions as she talked. There were a couple of other students milling around as well - I recognised some of them already, even though I didn't know their names and didn't think I was in any of their classes. It was only my third day in this school and I was already passing the same faces - this place really was small.

It made it a lot harder to fade into the background.

But maybe that was a good thing.

"Hi guys!" I said. My voice sounded ever-so-slightly pitchy. I cleared my throat, flicking my eyes down to the ground briefly; okay, not the best start. But we can recover.

"Hey!" Maria exclaimed, turning from her locker. "Amy! How are you?"

"I'm good …" I said. Maria's smile widened and she hugged one of her books against her chest. "What are you guys up to?"

"Rouge was just telling us about her date!" Cream giggled. My eyes automatically went back to Maria; she was still smiling, but something in her expression had shifted slightly. Her eyes met mine. She raised her eyebrows in an almost conspiratory fashion. In spite of everything a thrill ran through me.

"Oh?" I said tentatively. It seemed like the safest thing to say.

"It was awful." Rouge pulled a face. "He took me bowling."

"Ooh, romantic!" Maria teased.

"I thought you liked bowling, Rouge?" Cream said, her brow furrowed.

"I do. I'm good at it. Apparently that's the problem." she rolled her eyes. "He was sweet-as-pie after my first strike, but he was getting pissy by round three. And then …" she paused for dramatic effect. "He complained about feeling emasculated."

Maria groaned. Cream sighed. I winced.

"I know, right?" she said to me. "And it was obvious that he completely expected me to start playing badly on purpose as well. Anyway. We went for food afterwards and he was trying to come on to me, being all flirty, but I wasn't having it. I paid for the meal while he was at the bathroom. He was not happy about that."

She smirked mischievously. Cream shook her head. "You're so shameless. I'd have started apologising."

"That's just not who I am." Rouge shrugged. "I'm not going to bring myself down for some insecure fuckboy. If a guy can't keep up with me well, his loss."

"Preach it!" Maria affirmed. She shut her locker. "Ladies, shall we go?"

She was smiling at me as she said it so I assumed that the invitation included me. I grinned.

"Hold on!" Cream pulled her bag off her back and opened it up. Inside it was a little blue-and-yellow chao, curled up between a notepad and pastel pencil case. "Cheese, come on baby!"

"Chao!" Cheese chirped, floating out of the bag. He blinked at us all with his big blue eyes. My heart melted.

"Hi Cheese!" Maria said softly. Rouge's eyes softened as she watched him float into Cream's arms. The cute bunny giggled and kissed his head. "Did you have a good nap?"

"Chao!"

"Amy, do you want to pet him?"

"Is that okay …?" He had a red collar with SERVICE written across it in bright white letters.

"Of course, as long as I say so."

I tentatively reached out and lightly stroked Cheese's face. "He's really sweet."

"Chao!"

"Let's go!"

We set off down the hall together. Rouge continued to rant about her disastrous date while Cream and Maria interjected and made appropriate comments. I was happy enough to listen. Not just because I didn't trust myself to speak … just, I don't know. Rouge was so hilariously brazen. Cream's reactions - little gasps and squeaks - were adorable. Maria's positivity was contagious. It was like one of those scenes in a teen rom-com, where the crowd of popular girls appear around the corner and walk down the hall, all of them wearing cute little skirts, flicking their long perfect hair, smiling and laughing, oblivious to everyone's stares, all in super slow motion. Then you had the awkward nerd girl standing by her locker, staring at them in envy.

Only in this case, the awkward nerd girl was walking along with them. She didn't even need to forge a signature or adopt a signature coloured blazer to do it.

Of course it wasn't as glamorous as all that. They weren't the 'popular' clique, just a trio of girls who were friends and enjoyed spending time together. They weren't untouchable - they stopped to say hi to people and made bad puns.

They were utterly ordinary, which just made them all the more extraordinary to me.

We made a round of downstairs and the bell rang. Cosmo and Tails burst through the door together as it rang, and Cream followed them to their history class. Rouge had a free period so she sauntered off towards the gym. Maria and I walked upstairs together, towards French and Algebra respectively. A semi-awkward silence settled between us. It was broken by a loud buzz as we reached the top of the stairs. Maria pulled her phone out of her pocket, pulling a face as she looked at the screen. "Sorry, group-chat's buzzing. Hold on." She tapped the little chat bubble and read the most recent messages. "Hey, are you in any of Silver's classes today?"

"Yeah, we're meant to have Algebra now."3

"Oh, okay, yeah he's coming down with something and needs someone to send him all of the homework."

"Oh, of course, no worries!"

"Cool!" Maria smiled. "So anyway, I forgot to say it last night but the girls and I tend to go and get coffee uptown on Tuesdays at lunchtime."

My heart sank in my chest. So I wasn't going to have lunch with them today?

"Oh … That sounds nice."

"Yeah, they do the best cakes at this place. But anyway, what do you have period before lunch?"

"History."

"Of course, Blaze is in your class then! Okay, so we can all meet up at the door!"

Wait, what?

"I've got to run. But we can talk later. Good vibes for Algebra!"

"Bye Maria!"

She walked towards her class. I walked away in the opposite direction, smiling to myself. Not even the prospect of polynomials could bring me down.

(x x x)

"But sir the evidence - "

"Miss Futterman - "

"Sir - "

"Miss Futterman - !"

"The signals were clearly transmitted by can openers!" Sticks Flutterman cried, jumping up from her seat, eyes blazing. "The government planned the whole thing!" She banged her fist down onto her desk. "Wake up, sheeple!"

"I find that term really offensive." someone bleated from the back of the room; a blue-eyed ewe with a sour-faced expression was glaring in Sticks' direction. "It's sheep-person."

Sticks didn't seem at all abashed by her politically-incorrect faux-paux. On the contrary, she got louder and louder, ranting about the government and how they were all out to get us and how we were fools to let televisions into our homes.

Mr Oak seemed at a loss.

I heard Sonic chuckle beside me. "Look at Blaze," he whispered.

The longer that Sticks talked for, the smaller Blaze's eyes became, until they were narrowed into yellow slits. Her ears were flattened against her head and her tail twitched dangerously.

"Sticks had better be careful." he said. "I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that."

I giggled. Mr Oak didn't notice - he had decided to continue with the lesson and try to drown Sticks out with his own booming voice.

"As I was saying, the Solaris Project was infamous for - "

"Iblis was created by the Duke of Soleanna!"

"This tragic accident -"

"It was no accident! They planned it!"

"- two centuries later - "

"LOOK AT THE INCONSISTENCIES! OR DO YOU HAVE A REASON TO COVER IT UP, HUH?"

"MISS FLUTTERMAN!" Mr. Oak roared, finally snapping. I cowered into my seat, trying to make myself small. Sticks stopped talking, but didn't sit down, facing his enraged expression with a coolness that was frankly unsettling. Mr Oak stood in front of us, his shoulders rising and falling as he caught his breath.

"Miss Flutterman …" he gasped, "Go to the principal's office. Right now."

"The truth will be revealed!" Sticks warned. She picked up her messenger bag and walked out of the classroom, shaking her head. She closed the door behind her.

We stared at Mr Oak. He stared back at us. He was blushing - it looked like storm-clouds over his light grey skin. He cleared his throat.

"Ahem, sorry about that." he said, shifting nervously. "As I was saying - "

None of us spoke for the next ten minutes. Sonic was clearly trying to hold back his laughter. I focused on taking down notes, pressing my pen onto the paper a little harder than was necessary. I was still slightly on edge from Mr Oak's outburst.

The bell rang for lunch. We left the room quietly, though some people giggled as Mr Oak collapsed into his chair and opened a box of Panadol. Sonic stopped trying to hold back his laughter as we reached the hall.

"That was great. Man, I love having Sticks around."

"Is she always like that?" I asked. It was the first thing I'd said to him all day, since he'd been late for history. He'd smiled at me as he came in. I'd been too nonplussed to respond accordingly and had ended up jerking my head and kind of grimacing in return. Gah.

"Oh yeah. She used to have a YouTube channel until she decided that YouTube was being run by aliens, or something. Never a boring minute with that girl."

He turned around. "What did you think, Blaze?" he smirked. Blaze caught up with us both, her eyes still slits behind the red frames of her glasses. "Don't get me started, Sonic. I'm really not in the mood."

"Something the matter?" Sonic asked, his expression immediately shifting into one of concern. Blaze shook her head. "No, I'm fine. Just tired." She sounded genuine enough, but she refused to meet his eye. I bit my lip. It wasn't really my place to say anything, and I didn't want to overstep …

"Amy, we should go down and meet the girls now." Blaze said, turning to look at me.

"Oh, you're off now? Get me something!" Sonic begged. "Please?" He shot her the most adorable baby-chao eyes I'd ever seen outside a literal baby chao. If he'd turned them to me, I honestly don't know what I'd have done.

"Don't you have a running competition coming up soon?" Blaze said. "Shouldn't you be, I don't know, doing a juice-cleanse?"

"It's called a track-meet."

"Whatever"

"I still don't get why you never tried out for track, you're pretty fast."

"Me? Sports? Ha! Besides, you have Mina."

"Nah, Mina quit."

"Oh?"

"She's focusing on her music."

"I see …" Blaze nodded, staring intently at the cobalt hedgehog. He shuffled his feet, looking mildly uncomfortable. I remembered Mina Gabriel, from the Sadie Hawkins photo. Was she his girlfriend? An ex-girlfriend?

"How will the gender balance ever recover?" Blaze said mockingly.

"Sally's on the team. She's not as fast as Mina but she has good stamina."

Why wouldn't he look at me? Or speak to me? He was so nice to me when we did talk to each other but then he'd do something like this. Why couldn't anyone just be consistent?

"Anyway," he continued. "You ladies enjoy yourselves."

"I've been looking forward to this all day." Blaze laughed.

"Thanks …" I said quietly. He looked at me and smiled. "Don't listen to Blaze. I definitely deserve a chocolate brownie."

"I'll see what I can do." Blaze said, flicking her tail. "Come on Amy."

"Bye guys!" Sonic nodded.

"Bye Sonic!" I said, turning to walk after Blaze. She didn't speak to me at all, but for some reason the silence didn't seem awkward. I got the sense that she was a quieter, more reserved sort of person than say Maria or Tikal. She wasn't necessarily shy, just happy not be the centre of attention. Silver and Sonic seemed to bring her a little out of herself. Sonic - did she maybe have a crush on him? I wondered, thinking about their back-and-forth. She wasn't drop-dead gorgeous or anything, not like Maria or Rouge, but she was calm and collected, and clearly very intelligent.

Oh my God, what was wrong with me?

There was absolutely no point in denying the fact that I was … infatuated with Sonic. At least, I might be. It was hard to know. I was an anxious wreck around almost everyone. I didn't appreciate mixed signals, adding another layer to the anxiousness. He was cute, certainly, and really nice … Was my bar really that low? I didn't want it to be.

Regardless, I had no right to get jealous.

All of this was hypothetical anyway, I had no evidence that she liked him apart from them having an easy-rapport and no duh, they'd known eachother since they were kids. It was a far cry from the long looks of love and adoration I saw Silver shoot at Blaze whenever she wasn't looking at him and, occasionally when she was.

The hallways and cafeteria were pretty crowded, but I immediately noticed the girls waiting at the glass doors. Cosmo, Tikal, and Cream were giggling, their heads together; Cheese was peeping out of Cream's bag. Maria stood slightly apart from them, bouncing on the balls her heels. She saw us both and beamed.

"Hey! How was class?" she asked.

"We had History. Sticks was … Well, she was Sticks."

Maria winced. "Ouch!"

"It's fine. It's just irritating, it's my country's history she's butchering."

Maria patted her arm sympathetically. "You can drown your sorrows in snacks." Her eyes caught mine. "How about you, Amy?" she smiled. "How was your morning?"

"Oh, it was all good. I um, I got the work for Silver, I can send it to him later." Maria rewarded me with one of her dazzling smiles.

"Blaze, have you heard from him? How's he feeling? He hasn't been online since this morning." Cosmo asked, tuning into the conversation.

"I'm not his keeper," Blaze said, a slight edge to her voice.

Cosmo blinked. There was a beat of silence. Blaze cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Alright yes, sorry, I've heard from him. He's fine, I think it's just some sort of twenty-four hour bug. Nothing to worry about it." she said briskly. Cosmo hummed softly, looking over at Tikal and Cream with raised eyebrows.

"What's up bitches?" Rouge said, appearing beside us. "Can we go? I'm starving."

"You know, I was actually reading an article last night about how 'bitch' has been used to keep women down throughout the years, and how reclaiming it is actually pretty harmful because of the negative connotations of - hey!" Tikal yelped, rubbing her arm where Blaze had poked her.

"Tikal, I'm really trying to be woke, but it's a process." Rouge sighed. "I love the think-pieces you're tagging me in, but you've got to be patient with me."

"Tikal's our resident social-justice warrior." Maria giggled. "She keeps us all in check. Which you know, we kind of need so."

"We're all just feminists in progress!" Cosmo teased. Tikal rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Alright, alright, let's go already."

"Finally!" Rouge exclaimed.

We walked out the glass doors. Something felt kind of rebellious in the act, even though we were within our rights to do whatever we wanted at lunchtime. Even so, I felt strange. Yeah my bus drove down this street everyday, but walking it was a whole other experience. I hadn't really been anywhere in Station Square yet, apart from school and the newsagents. I hadn't really thought that there'd be anywhere to go, not like Mobius where there was a museums, galleries, shops, monuments, street performers, and restaurants everywhere you looked. Granted, I'd spent most of my time in Oxfam or the greasy spoon near our apartments. I'd never really felt comfortable walking around the city. The anonymity could be a comfort but it also made me realise just how lonely I was.

This was different.

In a good way.

I didn't speak at all during the five-minute walk to main street. I just listened to everyone else, feeling like a whole other person.

Deja Brew was a cramped, kitschy cafe with a bell that tinkled merrily as you came in through the door. The white wood floor was almost completely obscured by mismatched armchairs and rickety old chairs that had been painted in confectionary shades of pink and blue and yellow. There was vintage decor all over the place; an iron flicky-cage, a typewriter with missing keys, and battered books about floriography and Victorian etiquette. There was only one other customer - a silver-haired mouse sipping tea from a china cup. Sinatra was crooning from a small CD player in the corner and there was a pretty seedrian waitress wiping down the counter and humming along to New York New York.

It looked like something on a Pinterest mood-board or an aesthetic tumblr blog. I felt like a complete fraud standing there in my ratty old jacket and second-hand converse: they'd cost next to nothing because the previous owner had apparently left them out in the rain and they were all wrinkled. The rest of the girls seemed completely at ease commandeering two of the small tables, sinking into the squishy armchairs, pulling a couple of extra wooden chairs over so that we'd all have room. I hung back awkwardly, letting them decide where they wanted to sit. Cream caught my eye."There's a seat here, Amy!"

I sat down in between her and Cosmo. "The Wi-Fi password is Coffee123" Cosmo informed me, turning around to look at the waitress. "Galaxina! Hi!"

"Hey girls!" she walked towards us, pulling a purple notepad from the waistband of her jeans."What'll it be?"

"Can I get the salad wrap?" Cosmo asked. "But with the - "

"Beetroot chutney on the side, got'cha." Galaxina winked, jotting it down. "Tikal, same for you?"

"Yeah, thanks!"

"And I'm just going to put you guys down for some vegan milkshakes afterwards." Galaxina grinned, ruffling Cosmo's hair. Cosmo giggled, half hidden by her now-messy fringe.

"Could I just have an almond croissant with some cream-cheese frosting, please?" Cheese squealed loudly, making Cream blush. "Sorry, um, make that two croissants?"

Galaxina scribbled down the rest of their orders; Blaze's blueberry muffin , Maria's vegetable soup, Rouge's strawberry cheesecake and cappuccino -

"And for you?" she said, smiling at me. "Oh hey, we've never met!"

I smiled sheepishly.

"Amy's new to Station Square." Cosmo explained. "Amy, this is my sister, Galaxina."

"Oh, uh, it's nice to meet you." I said sheepishly. Galaxina smiled at me. "You too Amy. I hope you like it here." she held up her notebook. "So, what'll it be?"

There was the rub. I didn't actually have any money. Mum paid for my school-lunch at the start of the year. I hadn't thought about that at all - I'd been too thrown by the invitation. My stomach grumbled. I went red all over.

"I'm not - " I began, hoping that nobody had heard my stomach imitate a dying whale.

"I've got it, Amy." Maria interrupted. I looked across the table at her, meeting her bright blue eyes.

"No, I - "

"No, I didn't tell you until today, it's really fine! My food isn't expensive anyway." she smiled sheepishly. "Girls, what's good here? I don't really eat sweet things."

"The caprese wrap - "

"You need to try the cinnamon waffles - "

"The cheese scones - "

"You can try some of my cheesecake if - "

"Do you want a menu?" Galaxina asked kindly. I shook my head. "I'm fine thank you," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Um, the caprese wrap sounds good. And maybe a milkshake …?"

Maria grinned. Galaxina wrote it down dutifully. "Right, won't be long girls." she said, gliding away gracefully through the kitchen door. The old mouse finished her tea and slowly got up from her seat, using her walking stick to prop herself up. She shuffled over towards our table.

"Hello Maria, dear."

Maria looked up from her phone. "Oh, hello Miss Clarke."

"How's your grandfather?"

"He's doing well, thank you for asking. How are you? How's your hip?"

"Ah, it's seen better days, you know yourself."

The lithe, strong, sixteen-year old Maria nodded emphatically. "Would you like me to help you out?"

"No no, not at all pet."

"I really don't - "

"No, no, you girls sit down and enjoy your lunch." she said, smiling at them all who had all started to get out of their seats to help her out as well. She noticed me and looked at me a little oddly, though she kept on smiling. "Good to see you, good to see you." she waved their concern away, hobbling out the door.

"She plays bridge with my grandfather." Maria told me, by way of explanation. "That's why she was asking after me."

"It's just one of those small town things." Cream smiled, somewhat apologetically.

They were distracted by Galaxina making her way over to the table, precariously balancing mismatched plates and saucers along her arms. As they helped her set the food down on the table, thanking her and joking with her, I observed them. This town was so weird. Everyone knew everyone, and they were all so nice to each other. They thought nothing of striking up conversations with little old ladies they barely knew and helping them out onto the street.

I'd read about people from small towns, the moody brunette protagonists of YA romance novels who wanted to escape the mundanity of their everyday lives. That's kind of what I'd expected from Station Square. But so far, it wasn't what I'd gotten. At all.

Galaxina set my food down in front of me. The wrap was perfectly cooked, a sliver of lettuce and the edge of a slice of tomato peeking out of it. It rested on a blue-rimmed plate, hand-painted with little bluebells, and was garnished with a small side salad and crinkle-cut crisps. Everyone else had started eating already, so I dug in.

It was divine - the herbed wrap, the warm melted cheese, the lettuce, tomato, and the thinly sliced avocado. I let out an appreciative hum. I moved onto the milkshake - it was thick, made with real strawberry ice-cream, with silver balls sprinkled on top of it. I hadn't had food this good in ages.

Rouge savoured her mouthful of cheesecake, eating it slowly before setting her fork down.

"So, Amy. Tell us about yourself!" she commanded. "Likes, dislikes, tragic backstory, deepest fears. Full disclosure!"

The other girls looked at me expectantly - apart from Cream, who was feeding Cheese pieces of croissant.

"Um, well …" I didn't know what to say. Thankfully Maria came to my rescue.

"Have you always lived in Mobius?" she asked kindly.

"As long as I can remember." I replied. "I lived with my mother and my grandparents until I was two. We weren't too far from here, actually."

"Oh? Is that why you moved to Station Square?"

"Well, my grandmother moved here when my grandfather died. Their old house was too big for her and it was kind of isolated. She passed away over the Summer and she left my mum the house."

"I'm sorry for your loss." Cream said sympathetically. Everyone else murmured their own condolences. This

"Thank you. I mean, we weren't very close, like we didn't see her all that much. But she was lovely. And she loved it here," I added, smiling at them all. "She said there was a great sense of community and always someone to talk to. She was always trying to get mum to move here."

"Wait, was your grandmother Melody Rose?" Tikal asked, realisation dawning on her. Maria let out a gasp. "Oh my gosh, you look so like her!" she said, staring at me as though she'd never seen me before.

"You knew my grandmother?" I asked them. They all nodded.

"Just to see," Rouge clarified. "But yeah, I saw her around."

"She played bridge with my grandfather" Maria added.

"Galaxina knew her, she was a regular here."

"She volunteered in the Age Action shop. That's where I got this skirt." Tikal said, gesturing down at her green knee-length skirt with a heavily embroidered hem.

"That's … okay, wow, small-world I guess. Small town, anyway." I said awkwardly.

There was a brief silence, broken only by Galaxina singing along to Frank Sinatra in the back room.

I'd made things uncomfortable. I felt hot from the shame of it.

"I'm sorry," I apologised.

"No, Amy, you have nothing to apologise for!' Cosmo cried. "It was insensitive of us to pry."

"We're really sorry." Tikal added. Maria nodded forlornly in agreement.

"No, gosh no, guys it's really okay." I said, feeling even worse. "I just didn't really know what to say. But it's really good to know that she was so involved here and that people knew her."

Maria and Tikal looked unconvinced.

"Really." I said, meeting Maria's eyes as best as I could. I really did mean it too. Mum had worried about our granny a lot - she'd never said anything but it was clear from the look on her face whenever we'd visited her, whenever she saw the forlorn looking sitting room, and the dilapidated guest room. I knew that she still felt guilty about not being able to visit her a lot after our grandfather died, but between her shift-work and raising two kids, it had been difficult. Aunt June lived on the other side of the country and got away with sending over luxury boxes of chocolates and Christmas cards with long handwritten messages crammed into every available empty space. The house had a lonely, underused feel to it. It hadn't really occurred to us that it was because our granny had spent so little time in the house - that she was out busy, getting involved in things, making friends and forming real connections.

Maria and Tikal seemed please, and the atmosphere became more relaxed.

"So hey!" Maria smiled, stirring her soup around. "Anything else you want to tell us?"

"Um …"

"What's your Hogwarts house?" Blaze asked, her eyes gleaming. I smiled at her.

"Um, Gryffindor. According to Pottermore." I answered. "I don't really know if it's that accurate, but I took the test three times …"

"Ew, Gryffin-dork." Blaze laughed. "I'm a Ravenclaw."

"Fight me, Blaze." Tikal winked at me. "Daring, nerve and chivalry all the way."

I smiled. "What's your house, Blaze?"

'I'm a Ravenclaw. The only Ravenclaw."

"Hufflepuff!" smiled Cream. Maria echoed her.

"Slytherin." Rouge smirked. "You guys wish you were this cool."

We turned to look at Cosmo, the only one who hadn't given us an answer.

"I don't know." she whined, sounding agonised. "I took the test twice and got Gryffindor the first time and Hufflepuff the second time."

"You need a tiebreaker round." Maria said. "Let's do it now!"

She tapped away on her phone until she came up with a website who had the official quiz. She passed the phone over to Cosmo who snatched it from her and began answering questions.

"Amy, I meant to say, I really like your top." Rouge said, gesturing to the embroidery. "Where did you get it?"

"Oh, um, it's from Primark. I did the roses myself." I explained. Rouge's eyes widened slightly.

"It's so pretty!" Maria exclaimed.

"You're so talented, Amy." Tikal said appreciatively. Cream examined the weeny roses as well. "I've been trying to learn how to sew but I'm finding it impossible. Would you show me sometime?"

"Oh I don't know, I mean I'm not that great." I said, blushing furiously.

"Amy, nuh-uh, we don't do self-deprecation." Maria said warningly.

"No, I mean, I just learned from the internet, it's not that hard. But I could link you the websites?"

"That would be great, thank you!"

"Chao!" Cheese chirped in agreement.

"You're into fashion then?" Rouge asked me, looking interested.

'Kiiiiind of …" I replied, trying to downplay my level of interest. I knew how to alter a hemline, apply applique, and determine what colours went with my complexion, but I couldn't possibly talk fashion with someone who looked like she had stepped out of the pages of this month's Vogue.

"You're lucky that you can customise your clothes." Maria said. "There aren't any good shops in town."

"There's the charity shops!" Tikal protested. "Amy, you should come with me some time. I've been dying to get the girls to look with me."

"I did get a great pair of floral patterned Dr Martens in Oxfam." Maria admitted. "I can just never find things that are the right size for me."

"Let's do it guys. Please? Halloween's coming up soon, we could prepare for our costumes! Oh, we could even go into Knothole if you guys want, they have even more shops."

"That's … not a bad idea." Rouge said. She sucked the last scraping of cappuccino foam from her spoon.

"Are we doing anything for Halloween that warrants dressing up, then?" Blaze asked. "I thought that we were just going to hang out."

"You don't need an excuse to wear a cool costume, Blaze!" Maria said, pretending to be scandalised. "Actually, I heard that Sally is planning something. I was talking to her during French."

Blaze looked unconvinced.

"You don't have to look for a Halloween costume though. It might just be cool to have a day out, we haven't had one since Summer. Things aren't too busy now anyway, between Halloween and Homecoming - there, another reason for a trip!" Maria smiled triumphantly.

"Would this Saturday work?" Rouge asked. "I've the house to myself, you guys could stay over since I don't live far from Knothole."

"A sleepover!" Cream clapped her hands together. "Oh yes, let's!"

I could feel myself fading into the background, slipping away into the outer-sphere. That was when Maria's voice brought me back to earth.

"Are you in, Amy?"

"Huh?" I blinked in surprise. I could hardly bear to hope …

"The trip and the sleepover." Maria smiled warmly at me. "We need your fashion expertise anyway!"

"I um, I have to see."

"Oh, alright then." Maria shrugged, looking vaguely disappointed - don't Amelia, don't even think it, she doesn't actually care, stop being so self centered. I swallowed. I wanted to say yes, a large part of me really did, but there was that voice in my head holding me back.

I really really wanted to say yes.

I just couldn't. Yet.

But I would go. I'd promised myself that I'd try.

"I don't believe it." Cosmo said, staring at Maria's phone screen.

"What is it? What did you get?" Tikal clamoured, trying to peer over her shoulder.

Cosmo looked at us, wearily. She showed us her result.

You are a … Ravenclaw!

There was a beat of silence before we all burst out laughing.


	9. Heart To Heart

I spent the next two days feeling like I was living someone else's life. They passed by in a blur of late-night group chat messages and laughter-filled lunch hours. Maria shared her packed lunches of carrot sticks and boxes of raisins with me (when she wasn't busy staring into Shadow's eyes), Knuckles and Silver pressed me for my Game of Thrones theories during breaktime on Wednesday. Rouge complimented the fuzzy sweater I wore on Thursday. I got used to the school, to the size and the students. I'd pinned down the teachers who'd smile at you and ask how you were and wouldn't press you for assignments like Ms Barony, and the ones who'd threaten you with a detention for coming into class a millisecond after the bell, like Mr Oak. I knew this because Sonic came in five minutes late on Thursday. It was our first period after lunch and he appeared in the doorway, slightly out of breath.

Sonic, Sonic was there too. I hadn't quite gotten used to him yet.

"Ah, Sonic. Good of you to join us." Mr Oak said stonily.

"Sorry sir. Won't happen again." Sonic replied politely, flashing his winning smile. Mr Oak remained unimpressed. He took a notepad from his desk and scribbled something on it.

"I'll make sure of that. Detention, tomorrow evening."

Though Sonic's smile didn't fade his jaw tightened. "Of course, sir. Sorry." he said through gritted teeth. Mr Oak, satiated, waved his hand dismissively. Sonic walked over to our desk, collapsing beside me. I breathed in the increasingly familiar fragrance of his citrus shower gel that masked that intangible boy scent. I realised that it was probably sweat and, ew gross, but that was pheromones for you.

(He just happened to be a single teenage boy who I spent time with and who I sat beside three hours every week okay I was a heterosexual teenage girl, these things just happen.)

(I mean, I assumed he was single.)

(No girlfriend had been mentioned anyway.)

(But whatever.)

(That was all there was to it.)

Not that it'd matter either way. He'd never be interested in you? Who would want you, you fat ugly bitch -

"Did I miss anything?" Sonic whispered, keeping his eyes glued to the front of the room.

"No." I replied. "He was still in the opening paragraph of his monologue."

"Stupid question. The man's basically a Disney villain." he said, pretending to take notes

I tried to stifle my laughter. I was still wary in Mr Oak's class, between his cold treatment of me last week followed with his explosion during Sticks' tin-foil-hatting. I wanted to fly as much under the radar as possible, lay low. It was difficult with Sonic around, rolling his eyes and making me giggle.

Still, there was something kind of thrilling about talking during class, some sense of mischief that made me feel like a kid. Not myself as a kid, ha ha no, but the quintessential everyday kid. I felt a little lighter. Unencumbered. Just as long as I didn't look at him too closely, it was all fine.

I'd have to work on it though. Move past my mild attraction and my discomfort around boys. It was easier with the others; Knuckles was seeing a couple of girls, Silver was head-over heels for Blaze, Tails was a little too young, and my impression of Shadow was almost entirely wrapped up in him being 'Maria's Boyfriend'. Sonic … was another story.

I just wanted to be friends, like really really wanted to be friends. That wasn't going to happen if I couldn't even look him in the eyes. I thought back to our encounter at the newsagents last week and had to stop myself from banging my head down on the table. Why was I so useless?

We didn't speak for the rest of the class. I doodled absentmindedly in the margin of my notebook, half-hoping that he'd see what I was doing and remark on them but he seemed to be listening to whatever it was that Mr Oak was saying. I knew that I should be paying more attention but my mind just wasn't where it should have been.

The bell rang, signalling the end of the class. Sticks jumped up from her seat and made a beeline for Mr Oak's desk, but he practically sprinted past her to get out the door. Sonic quickly stuffed his book into his bag. He smiled at me as he stood up, but then went over to talk to Geoffrey St John. They walked out of the classroom together without a backwards glance.

"Lunch!" Blaze said, appearing beside me. "Shall we go?"

"Uh, yeah." I nodded.

"What did you think of the lesson?" Blaze asked. Before I could answer she had launched into her own analysis of what had been discussed, her eyes shining. She barely I nodded and hummed in agreement wherever necessary, but didn't speak until we reached the lunch table, carrying our respective trays. Sonic was already there, talking to Maria.

"I'm thinking of going the public-domain route, you know? Not something from a TV show, I just can't think of a character I'd want to be, you know, and it has to be something that enough people understand but not too mainstream and there'll be so many people - "

We'd all gotten Facebook invites to Sally's Spook-tacular Soiree. According to the emoji-laden event description there'd be food and drink for everyone and costumes were heavily encouraged. Over three-hundred people were invited. I couldn't even name three-hundred people.

"How are they going to fit them all?" I asked. I mean yeah, most of the houses here were bigger than they were in the city but still.

"Sally's family are loaded. Their house is huge." Silver explained through a mouthful of chips. "They own hotels or something."

"That's right." I nodded.

Blaze blinked in surprise. "How did you know that?"

"Oh, um, my mum works in one." I explained. I braced myself for raised eyebrows or silent judgement, but Blaze simply nodded and sipped her water thoughtfully.

"Has anyone been to Sally's house before?" Maria asked. "Sonic?"

He looked up from his food. He'd been waiting at the table when I arrived, sitting in front of Maria and Shadow with Silver on one side of him. I could have sat on his other side, if I'd wanted to.

But I hadn't.

Wanted to.

"Yeah, a couple of times." he said. "It's huge, like practically a mansion. Seven bathrooms or something."

Knuckles let out a low whistle.

"Is everyone going to the party then?" Rouge asked.

Blaze shrugged. Tikal fidgeted with her sleeve. Cream bit her lip and looked at Cosmo. Cosmo turned her anxious blue eyes to Tails, who looked uncharacteristically nervous.

"There's a lot of people going …" he said slowly. "They've all been fine in school, completely respectful, however … I haven't been in a social situation like that since coming-out …"

He didn't need to explain any further. There was a moment's silence as we all stared at Tails, who looked so uncomfortable about the whole business. Something gave inside me. I was nervous, of course I was, but thinking about Tails' situation relieved me of some of my anxiety; I'd seen the statistics, read the horror stories about what could happen to people like Tails. It really put things in perspective, made me realise how stupid I was being. Selfish even.

"Hey," Sonic said, leaning across the table to talk to Tails. In doing so his arm inadvertently ended up against the tips of my fingers. Oh. I stiffened. Should I move? Would that look deliberate? Should I keep my hand where it was? Or would that be too extreme a response?

"Tails, we've got your back, whatever you want to do. Anyone comes near you and we'll deck them right Knuckles?"

"One hundred percent." Knuckles affirmed.

Rouge's eyes flickered towards him and then she smiled into her strawberry yogurt.

"But it's up to you." Sonic continued, fixing his gaze on Tails. "Whatever you want to do, whatever you feel safe or comfortable with, we'll support you. We were always close, but we're bros now."

"Always." Silver added.

"Thanks guys," Tails smiled. "I don't know , I mean everyone's been great. I guess that I'm just nervous. I haven't been living as myself for very long, you know? "

I wanted to hug him.

"Hey, it's Sally," Sonic said. "She won't let anything like that happen. Anyone puts a toe out of line, they'll be gone."

"Oh don't remind me." Maria shuddered. "She was on the dance committee with me in 8th grade. There was an incident with streamers. I don't think that she and Wave have spoken since."

Shadow snorted, reminding me of his presence. Huh. Guess I wasn't the invisible one for once.

"That sounds like Sally alright." Sonic laughed. He straightened back up, away from the tips of my fingers. I could taste the disappointment in my mouth. Jeeze, I really was touch-starved.

Pathetic.

"Anyway, the party should be good. I haven't gone out in ages, I can't wait."

Why not? I wanted to ask. Is it because you have training? Do you have a job? You like going out - do you like the social aspect or is it a chance to cut loose, do you drink, do you smoke? I wanted to know. But how did you go about asking all of these questions? How did you get to know someone? Social media had made the process somewhat easier - it was clear from their profiles that Maria liked ballet and vintage fashion, that Knuckles was a bit of a gym-rat, that Cosmo's mother was a florist and that she worked part time there. But it was so much harder in real life, when the people were there in front of you, and you felt cheap for knowing whatever it was you knew about them because you'd seen it on their Instagram profile, and not from actually having a real conversation and connection with them.

But how did you get to that stage? What did I know about Sonic, really?

He ran. A lot.

He was the youngest of three siblings.

He liked Aladdin, in some capacity anyway.

He was nice.

He smelled really really good.

"Me neither!" Maria said, clapping her hands together. "Amy, have you found out if you can come tomorrow?"

"Oh, um - "

"What's tomorrow?" Sonic asked.

"We're going to Knothole, doing some shopping." Maria explained. "Tikal wants to check out the charity shops, and then we're having a sleepover!"

"And I'm not invited?" Sonic cried, hand over his heart.

"Sorry," Maria said sweetly, her eyes gleaming. "Girls only. Face-masks. Manicures. Rom-coms."

"You just listed all of my favourite things." Sonic sighed. I tried not to laugh and forced a forkful of mac ' n ' cheese down my throat instead, almost choking myself in the process. Maria quickly handed me her bottle of water.

"You okay?" she asked, her blue eyes wide with concern.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

"Are you coming tomorrow? You hadn't mentioned it …"

I quickly shoved another mouthful of food down my throat - there was no point in trying to demonstrate any decorum anymore - buying myself a few seconds. I actually hadn't asked yet. I just … didn't really know how to have that whole conversation. Hanging out with people, going to a sleepover whatever. It hadn't happened before. I didn't even know if it would be possible for me to go, what mum's schedule was like. It had always been taken for granted that I'd be home to look after Abigail whenever mum was at work.

I made a vague sort of comment before asking Maria about her ballet class, and it was forgotten. We didn't have time to speak during Home Economics - Ms Barony had taken her freshmen to a cookery demonstration in Emerald Town and we had a crabby substitute who made us copy out pages of our textbook in silence.

I spent the short bus ride home mulling the situation over, feeling more and more nauseous. By the time I opened my front door, I was ready to collapse to the ground.

"Amy!" Abigail cried, tackling my legs. "Guess what?"

"What is it?" I asked, gently her off me. She looked up at me, showing off her gap-toothed smile in all its glory.

"I'm going to Rey's birthday party tomorrow!" she squealed.

"What? That's amazing!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. "Is Rey one of your new friends?"

"No, Jenny and Cocoa are my friends." she sighed, rolling her eyes at how hopeless I was. Keeping up with the social life of an extroverted six year old was no small task and it was one that I consistently failed to perform adequately.

"Are they going?"

"Everyone is! And you know what? Rey says she's gonna have a bouncy castle and a magician!"

"It's all very exciting, Amy, as you can imagine." Mum said, appearing from the kitchen.

Abigail, now bored, wandered into the kitchen and emerged seconds later with a cereal bar. She brought it into the living room with her. I could hear the theme song of Transformers: Rescue Bots blaring from the television.

"How was your day, darling?" Mum asked. I could feel her eyes on me as I shrugged my schoolbag off my shoulders and onto the floor, waiting eagerly for my answer. I'd had to tell her about the cafe trip on Tuesday so that I could get the money to pay Maria back. Her evident surprise had been embarrassing enough - yeah okay, I was a reclusive loser but even so, I didn't want my mother to think that - but the unadulterated delight in her eyes had been a million times worse. We hadn't seen each other much over the last few days, but I could tell that she'd been itching to know more about Maria, Blaze, and company.

"It was good …" I began, as my brain worked at a hundred miles an hour to try and find a way to bring the invitation up casually.

"How were the girls?" Ah. There you go. She didn't even try to be subtle about it, she was practically quivering with excitement.

"They're fine." I said. I took a deep breath - here goes nothing. "They um, they're hanging out in Knothole tomorrow … they asked me if I wanted to come. "

"They did?"

"They did," I couldn't bear to look at her. "But I thought that I might have to babysit Abigail since you're working so - "

"No! No, it's fine! Abigail will be at her party all afternoon, I'll be here in the morning so I can get her there, and

"They wanted me to sleepover as well." I added. I couldn't help but wince when I saw the light in her eyes.

"Oh that's … cool! Or wait, do you guys still say that?" she mused. "Awesome? Epic? Is that still a thing?"

"I guess?" This was excruciating.

"Okay so let me think, I'm covering for Jessica on Tuesday so she owes me, I'll see if she can take my shift tomorrow …" She trailed off, already tapping furiously away at her phone. It buzzed a few seconds later and her grin told me that Jessica had agreed to cover for her.

"That's worked out nicely!" she beamed. "And don't worry about Sunday, I'm at the cinema that morning, I can bring Abigail to one of the kid screenings, let me think what's on - Abigail! Do you want to see a movie on Sunday?"

"Yes!" came the muffled shout from the living room.

"But mum won't you be tired? You're working late tonight, you shouldn't have to mind Abigail tomorrow…" I asked. My voice wobbled slightly. What is wrong with you, Amy?

"Don't worry about me. I've tomorrow evening and Sunday evening off. I'll be fine." she said soothingly. She walked back into the kitchen. I heard her turn the kettle on. "Would you like a cup of tea, love?"

"No thanks."

"Coffee?"

"No mum, I'm fine thank you."

"Hot chocolate?"

"No."

"Toast?"

"No."

"Mug of sou- ?"

"I said I'm fine!" I shrieked. I heard the clatter of a spoon hitting the floor, a sharp intake of breath. "I'm sorry!" I cried helplessly. I ran into my bedroom, slammed the door behind me and threw myself onto my bed. I shut my eyes and buried my face into my duvet. I let out an angry, tearless sob. What was wrong with me? Images flashed in my brain - the excitement in my mother's eyes, the way that her face absolutely lit up, the sheer delight in her voice …

A strangled gasp escaped from my throat as I was filled with a twisted, unexpected surge of rage. What the fuck? I lifted my head up from the bed, tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I tried to swallow the bitter lump in my throat, my eyes thick.

My phone buzzed incessantly against my leg. I tried to ignore it, but the noise seemed to get louder and louder, like a swarm of locusts, engulfing me entirely. I dug it out of my pocket - notifications from the group chat, buzz buzz buzz. I stuffed it under my pillow. I didn't want to open them, memes, requests from Rouge to go and like her latest makeup post, and questions about tomorrow.

Tomorrow. Did I want to go?

I didn't want to do anything.

I didn't want to exist.

Wouldn't it be great if you could just … slip into a coma for a few months? Years even? Put everything on pause for a while?

I didn't want to think about it. I forced myself not to.

After what could have been seconds or minutes or even hours my door opened. I felt a sudden weight beside me, but I didn't move.

"I know … that you must be finding it hard. Moving here, to such a different environment, meeting new people. It can be a lot of pressure. Maybe I haven't helped, I haven't really been around." there was a pause. "But you cannot speak to me like that. We don't speak to each other like that, not in this family, okay? No way."

I stiffened as she stroked my head, exactly three times. I wanted to physically recoil at her touch - why why why? This was my mother. I clung to the fact; I'd already hurt her feelings enough for today, I didn't want to rebuke her a second time.

"I love you Amelia."

She didn't make an attempt to move. There was a pause that lasted a second too long, before -

"I love you too. I'm sorry."

She patted me gently on the back and then stood up from the bed. "Dinner's in an hour," she said to me. "I'm heading out to work again at 6.00. I won't be home until late. Enjoy tomorrow."

I didn't look up until I heard the door close behind her. I dragged my hand across my face and realised, too late, that I'd been wearing eyeliner today. Great.

That could have been enough to set me off, but I felt physically incapable of crying or really even caring. I had to decide what I was going to do.

My phone buzzed again. I leaned over and took it out from underneath my pillow, checking my messages. It was a new one, a private message.

Maria Robotnik:Hey Amy! *hugs* I was just wondering if you were coming tomorrow? Just didn't know if you knew how to get there, busses etc. Hope you can make it!

I stared at it for a few seconds. She sent in an animated GIF of a chao eating a slice of pizza. It almost made me smile.

Amy Rose: I'll be going!

Maria Robotnik: YAY! *is happy* okay so there's a bus stop just off main street, we're all meeting there around 10.00, cause we're gonna make a day of it. Can't wait!

Maria Robotnik: See you tomorrow then! *love heart emoji*

Amy Rose: See you

Amy Rose: *love heart emoji*

___

I woke up with a snoozing Abigail clinging to my arm. My heart was racing - it was today. Girly day out. Dress shopping, food, socialising, with a sleepover to finish. All totally normal things to do on a Saturday.

No biggie.

Everything was cool beans, peachy-keen, one hundred percent a-okay.

I thought about Rosy's string of social media updates. It seemed like she was constantly going out for brunch, or shopping or to the cinema with an ever-rotating ensemble of pretty, leggy girls with perfect contours. I'd gone through her entire album for this academic year - which already had over 200 photos. Could that ever be me?

It seemed impossible.

I struggled out of bed, hardly daring to breathe in case I woke Abigail up. I couldn't play any music as I dressed for the same reason. She'd been full of energy last night, whispering nonsensical knock-knock jokes into my ear ("Chao?" "Chao who?" "Chao sandwich!"). I didn't need any of that right now. Plus, the longer she slept, the longer mum could sleep.

I owed her that much after how I'd acted.

I'd eaten my dinner in shame-faced silence. Mum had handed it wordlessly to me, smiling without eating my eyes. She spent most of the meal talking to Abigail about her day at school and what she wanted to see at the cinema. I knew she wasn't ignoring me, that she just didn't really know how to handle what had happened - because it had never ever happened before - or what to say to me, but I felt as though I was being punished even so.

It was still miles better than the guilt that hit me when I saw that she'd left money out on the kitchen table for me.

I dithered helplessly - should I take it? I didn't have a lot of my own money. I didn't know how much I'd need, between the bus tickets and food …

I stuffed it into the pocket of my jacket. I tried to make myself eat some cornflakes. I checked my social media accounts - a couple of friend and follow requests from people that I recognised from my classes. . I watched a couple of lame Glamour videos. I opened my camera and made a few faces. My make-up was actually pretty decent for once. Would we be taking pictures? Group selfies? The thought was terrifying.

I gathered up the last of my supplies for tonight - underwear, toothbrush, cleanser, deodorant, phone charger etc, and left the house. The air was crisp and clear, ice-cold, but the sun was peering out from behind the clouds.

According to the group-chat Cream and Cosmo were already waiting at the bus-stop. It was almost impossibly quiet out on the street. No cars or busses on the road, no men with lined-faces, carrying briefcases and cups of takeaway coffee, or college students stumbling home after a night of clubbing. Every house had its curtains tightly drawn. The duo were easy to spot, standing together at the end of Blue Ridge Street, shivering under their coats. Cheese was floating beside them. They smiled when they saw me, greeting me through their chattering teeth.

"Did you get any breakfast?" Cream asked me. "I brought some pastries."

She offered me a paper bag of croissants. I took one; it was warm and my mouth practically watered as I inhaled the scent of butter and chocolate.

"Thanks Cream, that's so kind of you."

"No problem! The girls never eat a proper breakfast. I have to make sure you all eat properly." she looked pointedly at Cosmo. "Not just yogurt and chia seeds."

"Maria and Blaze are on their way." Cosmo reported, pretending that she hadn't heard. "Rouge and Tikal are going to meet us there. Tails is coming too." she added, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Oh, cool." I said. Was it better or worse that there were less of us getting the bus? On the plus side, a smaller group could be more manageable, less stress-inducing … on the other hand, the absence of Tikal's leftist speeches and Rouge's sass, there'd be a significant gap in the dynamic, and I'd be more in the spotlight.

"What kind of things are you looking for?" I found myself asking the girls. They launched into an in-depth description of the sort of dresses they'd seen online or in different movies while I stood there, not waving but drowning deeper and deeper into my thoughts ...

I was interrupted by a sudden weight knocking into me. Maria had appeared, practically tackle-hugging me to the ground. Tails and Blaze were there too.

"Sorry!" she giggled, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm just really excited about this trip."

"Hey Amy, how are things?" Tails asked.

"I'm good! A little tired!" I replied. He nodded, though I suspect that he wasn't really listening. He excused himself to stand next to Cosmo.

"The sooner we get on the bus, the better." Blaze grumbled. "I'm really not made for this weather."

"Winter is coming." I mumbled. Blaze heard me and grinned. I felt my face flare up, but was oddly satisfied.

"It should be coming … now!" Cream exclaimed gleefully. The girls and Tails frantically began pulling money out of their pockets and purses. Cream waved down the bus and we clambered onto it. The driver was a large lion with grey streaks in his mane and kind eyes.

"Well girls, where are you all of to this early? Oh, sorry lad, didn't see you there!" he added, noticing Tails.

"No problem." he grinned.

"Knothole please!" Maria smiled. "Dress shopping."

"Homecoming is it? Exciting stuff. Well we'll get you there in no time. Return trip?"

"Single. We're staying with a friend."

"Will do. That'll be $5.00 please."

They dutifully handed him the cash. He smiled at me as he took my coins and I smiled back without even thinking about it.

The bus was largely abandoned, apart from two old ladies sitting together in the front row and a teenage canary, staring out the window and listening to something on his earphones. Tikal had claimed the back row for us all - the back row of the bus! I tentatively took a seat in between Maria and Cream. I wouldn't have been half as awe-stricken sitting on a majestic throne. This was where the cool kids sat, right? It was basically reserved for them. I didn't really know from experience, obviously, I'd taken public transport the entire time we'd lived in the city but I mean, in movies and books …

There wasn't a whole lot of conversation - everyone was still a little groggy from having had to get up early on a Saturday. Instead we listened to the classic rock playing over the radio, eating pastries. Cosmo took a photograph of her boots for her Instagram and mused over an appropriate caption.

"Oh! We should take a picture for my story." Maria cried, her phone already in front of her.

Everyone tried to stretch into the photo. I found my face front and centre, just beside Maria's. I didn't know what to do - smile? Make a face? It was over before it begun; everyone gathered around to look at the picture.

"Tails, what are you doing with your face?" Cosmo asked, laughter threatening to burst out from behind her voice.

"I was going for a smoulder type thing." he admitted. Cream snorted, her face turning crimson when she realised what sound she'd made.

"Wow, I never realised how fat my cheeks look." Maria exclaimed.

"You look adorable." Blaze reassured her. "It's a really nice picture, send it into the group-chat later."

"Will do chief." Maria saluted. "Now for a filter. And a caption - or a GIF maybe? Sticker? What font should I use?"

I stared at the snapshot of myself. I looked startled, my eyes wide, my lips curled up in the faintest impression of a smile … but I didn't look out of place, or anxious, just like the camera had sneaked up on me. Most everyone looked a tad goofy - Tails' smoulder was a sight to behold.

"Where do we want to go?" Maria asked. "There's a cute vintage shop just off the main street, but it might be a little expensive …"

"Dorothy Perkins?" Cosmo suggested. "Galaxina always got her dresses there."

"Okay, cool! Will we go there first? Maybe we should see what Rouge thinks, she knows her clothes better than the rest of us."

"Great idea." Cosmo agreed. "I need to get a new sketchbook in Hodges and Figgis as well."

"I want to go too!" Blaze exclaimed. "There's a book I really want to get."

"Maybe we should split up at some point …" Maria said. "I need to find Shadow a birthday present."

"Oh that's really soon, isn't it?" Tails asked. "What will you get him?"

"I don't know!" she moaned. "He's so hard to buy for, and you know he never makes a big deal of his birthday anyway."

"Boys are all so difficult to buy for." Cosmo sighed.

"I'll try not to take that personally." Tails said to her.

"All you ever want is gaming stuff." Cosmo huffed. "Or sciency things."

"Shadow always says he doesn't want anything. It wouldn't matter except that he always gets me the loveliest things."

"Stop rubbing your relationship in our faces." Blaze sighed. "We wish we had guys as devoted to us as Shadow is to you."

How little you know.

Cosmo and Tails exchanged similar looks of 'are you kidding me?'. I definitely wasn't the only person who knew. I thought of Sonic for a minute - did he know too? What did he think? Would he be the type to take interest in his friend's unrequited romance or would he shrug nonchalantly, think of it as no big deal?

No, he wasn't the type. He was sweet, he was considerate … he cared about people.

"There's Tikal and Rouge." Cream said, waving through the window. Sure enough the two of them were standing together, both holding hot drinks from Costa (though Tikal's was in a reusable cup).

"So, where to?" Rouge yawned.

"We were thinking of trying Dorothy Perkins?" Maria suggested.

"Awesome. Let's go."

We walked down the main street together. Everyone clearly felt a little more energised now and the excitement was palpable. I could kind of see why - this street alone had more going on than the entirety of Station Square, at least from what I'd seen. Shops, pubs, coffee shops …

We found Dorothy Perkins and walked in. We were the only customers there and the girls immediately took command of the place. Rouge examined the labels on skinny jeans, Maria admired a floral patterned tea-dress, and Cosmo and Cream examined hair accessories. Even Tikal (who bemoaned the fast-fashion industry) seemed somewhat taken by a rack of printed skirts. Blaze picked up a navy sweater, rubbing its material. Tails checked his phone. I hung back, unsure of what I was looking for. Would I even go to the party? Or to Homecoming?

"So, what should we dress up as for Halloween? Or are we dressing up at all?" Cosmo wondered.

"Do you think that other people will?" Cream asked fearfully. I knew what she was thinking; the idea of turning up in costume when everyone else was wearing ordinary party-clothes was the stuff of nightmares. Turning up in ordinary party-clothes when everyone else was in full costume wasn't any better. You either looked like a childish freak or a joyless bastard.

"Definitely." Maria affirmed. "Sally said it to me and confirmed it on her page. "I'm going to dress up, I just haven't settled on a costume."

"I think that Homecoming's a bigger issue." Tikal sighed. "I dress so weirdly anyway, everyone just assumes I'm wearing a costume."

"Tikal!" Cream scolded. "Don't say things like that! You look lovely!"

Tikal glanced down at her outfit - floppy blouse, a long skirt printed with eyes, clog-like Birkenstocks, oversized knitted cardigan, and clunky necklace.

"I should just wear skinny jeans and a crop-top, that'll really throw them." she laughed. "But seriously, what will we do about party-outfits?" she repeated.

"Honestly, I think that you should focus on Homecoming." Maria advised. "You can throw an outfit for the party together with stuff you have at home, but if you're buying Homecoming dresses they'll be expensive. You'd better get them first."

"I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about that anymore." Tails laughed.

"You never wore dresses anyway." Cosmo pointed out. "Not since elementary school."

"You know what I mean." he paused. " What do guys wear to Homecoming anyway? How dressy should I be?"

"Suits." Rouge replied. "How you choose to wear it is up to you. You'll look weird if you try to hard though, so feel more than free to ditch the waistcoat or 's the problem with calling an event semi-formal," she sighed, "you don't know where you stand. Fortunately for you I've been to six semi-formal dances and two formal ones during my time in SSH. Floor-length dresses, those are for prom. This is a lot more casual. "

She dove into the racks and emerged with an armful of dresses. "Try these on. See what styles you like." she commanded.

Cream, Cosmo, and Tikal took the dresses obediently and scurried off to the dressing rooms, Tails in tow.

"Do you know what you're wearing, Rouge?" Maria asked.

"I really don't care." Rouge shrugged. "Homecoming's not exactly the Black and White Ball. I'm only going for Tikal and the others. Your first dance is a big deal."

You're telling me.

"I could do with some new shoes though …" Rouge continued slyly.

Maria shook her head. "Do you not have three million pairs already?"

"You can never have too many pairs of shoes!" Rouge announced. "But whatever, unless I see something that I want I'm just going to wear something from home."

"I don't have many dresses anyway." Maria said, biting her lip. "I'm going to look for something new." I fingered the money in my pocket. It felt so light, practically like air. I didn't know how much money the others had, apart from Rouge who was clearly pretty wealthy, if her nail extensions and jacket were any indication. True, Cosmo's older sister was waitressing to save money for college accommodation, but Cosmo still used and listened to music on vinyl. Cream had a Kanken and the money for an emotional support animal. Blaze read shiny hardbacks. They all ate lunch out every Tuesday, were subscribed to Netflix and/or Spotify Premium, stuff like that. Little luxuries that spoke for a lot.

It wasn't that my family was poor, per say. At least, we weren't anymore. It was a weird situation. We'd definitely been worse off in the city at any rate, with our studio apartment and communal kitchen. We'd lived on noodles, vegetables, and the occasional takeaway thrown in for good measure. My school-books were secondhand, I wore cheap makeup, and hadn't eaten brand-name cereal since I was a child.

But we weren't penniless. We'd never worried about starving. It was just that mum was careful. We lived cheaply so that she could afford to take a day off work if one of us was sick, so that she could bring us to the doctor and get us the medicine we needed, so that Abigail could go on her class-trips (I gave up on those during the 8th grade), and go to a childminder when mum was working late. Though most of our clothes came from secondhand-shops and Primark, we had good Winter coats. I knew that she saved most of her paycheck for college tuition. She never went to college. It was important to her that we did.

Our home had been far from luxurious, but hey, that was the city for you. It had been warm (well, warm-ish, sometimes but hey, that's what jumpers were for). We had working electricity, running water, and Wi-Fi (absolutely crucial).

Things were objectively better here.

We had to pay some tax on the house, inheritance and all that, but compared to what rent was in the city, it was a far better scenario. Abigail brought a packed lunch and she was still eligible for free travel on the Knothole Elementary bus. My bus for the term and my prepaid lunch worked out cheaper as well.

It made me wonder why we hadn't moved sooner. Our grandmother had certainly dropped enough hints throughout the years - the sense of community, the cleaner air, the lower cost of living.

At any rate, yes, we had a little more money for luxuries now. But still, it was pretty painfully obvious that these girls were significantly better off than I was.

It bothered me a lot more than I knew it should. Another insidious anxiety, another barrier I was putting up - me versus them.

It bothered me a lot more than I knew it should. Another insidious anxiety, another barrier I was putting up - me versus them.

The freshmen trio emerged. Cream was carrying one of the dresses in her arms, a pale gold shift dress. She went back to the racks to help Tikal and Cosmo find something - they hadn't thought much of the dresses Rouge had picked out for them.

"O-o-o-oh!" Cream suddenly exclaimed, excitedly pulling a dress down from a rack. "This is really cool!"

She held it up in front of us; it was a midnight blue chiffon number, with a plunging neckline and a mid-length draped skirt. The hemline was embellished with tiny silver sequins, which glimmered when they caught the light. We all gathered around to admire it.

"It's gorgeous," Maria sighed.

"Do you want to try it on?" Cream offered. "It's a size 10, would that fit you?"

"I'm a size 6." Maria said, shrugging her well-toned shoulders.

"I'll look for a smaller one. The dark blue would look wonderful on you - wouldn't it, Amy?" Cream smiled at me.

"Y-e-e-e-s …" I said, cautiously. The colour would work with Maria's colouring, not as well as a sky-blue or turquoise but it would do. But … "I'm just not sure about the overall … shape. If it would really flatter you."

"What would flatter me?" Maria asked. I looked at her. She was wearing a shell-pink sweater and mom-jeans, her long blonde hair pulled back in an Alice band. She looked lovely; she was so pretty that she could make a bin-bag look like haute couture, but with her body-type she could easily get away with showing a little more skin …

"Well … you've got a great figure. Really slim and slender. So, you know, skinny jeans, sleeveless tops … if you wanted to emphasise your chest you could look for something textured, like with ruffles or something. You can show your arms off. Or um, maybe a bodycon dress or something. You've great legs too. But I mean," I was babbling now. "It all depends on what you want to do, you know? Whatever you're all comfortable with. You have a really great style - you all do. I don't want to tell you how to dress or anything, I mean I don't know - "

"Something like this?" Rouge said suddenly, grabbing something from a rack - a strapless number of ruched emerald green velvet with an assymetrical hem.

"Something like that." I caved. Rouge nodded approvingly and handed it to Maria. She didn't look wholly convinced but she took it into the changing room with her without protest. The rest of us continued to look at clothes - or, in my case, price-tags. Why were things so expensive?

"Rouge, please, can you tell us what should we wear to Sally's?" Cream asked fearfully.

"Whatever you want." Rouge said definitively. "Like Amy said."

"I don't mean like that," Cream explained, biting her lip. "I mean …"

"None of us have ever been to a highschool party." Cosmo finished; Cream shot her a grateful look. "I mean, what's the protocol here?"

I said a silent prayer of thanks that someone else had asked the question. Tails and Tikal were looking at Cosmo similar expressions of gratitude and relief.

Rouge looked at them, her gaze softening as she took in their anxious expressions. I suddenly felt very protective over these four freshmen, my big-sister instincts kicking in.

"Look, there's really no hard-and-fast rule." she said. "Sally said on the event page that costumes are encouraged, and ninety percent of the people going will probably throw on a Scream mask or some devil horns or something. A handful will go all out. Some will go down the ironic route. But if you're more comfortable wearing jeans and a nice top, then you should do that. The only people who will actually care will be the ex queen-bees of middle school who are in denial over the fact that their arbitrary status means nothing now that they're bottom-of-the-pile freshmen, and that no amount of PINK body-spray or Forever 21 slogan tees can change that."

She smiled at us - not her usual sultry smirk, but a sheepish grin. "Speaking from experience."

"You really thought you were that bitch." Blaze said, shaking her head.

"Oh shut up." Rouge huffed.

"I'm not complaining, it kept the assholes in my grade off my back. I was almost considered cool by extension."

Maria emerged from the back-room in the dress. I felt my breath catch in my throat - she looked gorgeous. Her slender arms and her long, lean legs were on full display; she didn't need heels, she was tall enough already, but a pair of strappy sandals would be just the thing to pull it all together, maybe a pendant ...

She smiled shyly from behind her masses of blonde hair.

"What do you think?" she asked, in an unexpectedly shy voice.

"It's perfect." I said, too awed to remember that I was socially awkward and unable to talk to people. "What do you think though?"

"I like it. It's not that expensive either, I want to get a proper vintage number for Shadow's prom so I'd rather not break the bank here." she shrugged. "I'm not used to feeling so … on display."

"What about when you dance?" Cosmo asked.

"Oh that's different." Maria explained. "In rehearsal everybody is too focused on themselves and their technique, you don't worry about how you look. And when I'm on-stage I just lose myself in it, you know? Everything else kind of melts away." She tugged at the fabric of her skirt. "It's a little short…"

"You have the legs for it though." Rouge pointed out. "What with all of your dancing."

"It's a little tight too, I don't want to look lumpy."

"Mariaaa …" Blaze groaned. "You are the thinnest out of all of us, please don't do this.

"And also," Tikal pointed out. "Your weight is no indication of your inner worth. Have you learned nothing from Jameela Jamil?"

"An icon." Cosmo said solemnly.

"Amy, please tell me you've seen The Good Place?" Tikal begged. "Cosmo and I are obsessed."

"I haven't, sorry. But I'll uh, I'll put it on my list." I said, managing a nervous smile.

"Let's watch some tonight!"

"No, we're going to watch the documentary! The kidnapping one! Abducted in Plain Sight!"

"I don't want to watch anything like that." Cream cried.

"Why not - ?"

As they debated about what they should watch, I noticed Blaze standing a little bit apart from them all, purposefully avoiding the dresses. Hmm.

"Blaze, I think that you should try that blue dress on." I said. Blaze blinked in surprise. "Me? Really?"

"I think it would suit you." I said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"She's right …" Rouge noted, scanning Blaze as though she'd never seen her before.

"I don't really - I don't really wear dresses" Blaze protested weakly. "I barely even do parties. Or Homecoming. I skipped last year, I wouldn't have anyone to go with."

"You could go with us!" Tikal protested.

"I'm sure that Silver would slow dance with you, if that's what you wanted …" Tails said, a little too casually.

"No, he didn't go last year either. He came over to mine and we watched movies instead. Said he thought it was kind of lame." she shrugged.

Seriously?

"Well, why not try it on anyway?" Maria asked, her eyes shining with excitement. They ushered her towards the changing rooms, dress in hand.

"Hey guys!"

It was Sonic.

Sonic.

Here.

Today.

Okay, that was unexpected.

But it was fine.

He smiled at me.

Okay.

Maybe not completely fine.

Why was I being like this? I'd seen him yesterday, hadn't I? Nothing had changed in the meantime. He was still just Sonic. The nice guy I'd been eating lunch with for the last few weeks. Who wore cool red sneakers. Who looked really cute in those jeans. Who looked really cute in general, standing there, gym bag slung around his shoulder, running his hands through his quills, his green eyes lighting up when he saw us …

He wasn't alone either. Sally Acorn smiled at all of us, bare faced and dressed in leggings and a turquoise crop top. Her boobs were bigger than mine. Figured.

"Hey!" Maria exclaimed. "What are you guys - ?"

"We were at the gym," Sally explained. "Track meet coming up this week, we wanted to get some extra training in."

"Oh yeah, Blaze mentioned that you'd joined the team. How's it going?"

"It's tough." Sally admitted, keeping her happy-upbeat tone in place. "But this one's a great trainer." she nudged Sonic playfully.

"Is Blaze here?" Sonic asked. I looked over at him. His eyes met mine and he smiled at me. I tore my eyes away from him - I felt like he could see into my soul, or something. He had a penetrative stare (okay, ew, not a good enough reason to use that word). It wasn't weirdly intense or anything, but I'd felt it even on that very first day.

Oh. There you are.

"She's in the changing room. We finally got her in a dress." Rouge smirked. "We're trying to convince her to go to Homecoming."

"Ah, hoping that Silver sees her and is totally overcome with how much he likes her that he has to profess his undying love and devotion to her?" Sonic asked.

"Stranger things have happened." Rouge shrugged. "He'd better grow a pair and tell her or I will."

"Why doesn't he though?" Maria moaned.

"Silver's shy. He doesn't want to ruin the friendship or whatever." Sonic said. "You look great by the way."

"You think?" Maria asked, gesturing down at the dress. "Amy and Rouge picked it."

"They've got good taste." Sonic grinned at me.

Gah.

"You're stunning." Sally affirmed. "Is it for Homecoming?"

"Yeah. I'm still trying to decide what to wear to the party."

"Oh, you're coming?" Sally exclaimed.

"We all are, I think." Maria said, looking around at everyone for confirmation. Sonic, Tails, Tikal, Rouge, Cream, and Cosmo nodded. After a fraction of a second, I did too.

"I'm so excited!" Sally beamed, her blue eyes shining. "I've got a couple of things to pick up for it, actually, but I'll see you all on Monday."

"See ya, Sal." Sonic said.

"Good luck with the dress shopping." Sally smiled, waving at us as she walked out the door.

The hunt continued. Maria, satisfied with her choice, browsed happily for accessories. Cream paid for her golden dress, hugging the bag happily towards her chest every so often. Cosmo was asking Tails for his opinions of various dresses.

I looked around pessimistically. Everything seemed either too tight or too short, or showed too much of my skin. I had a figure that was largely unworkable. I was busty, sure, with a small waist and prominent hips, but my stomach wasn't flat - it was a bit doughy it even, shock horror, stuck out after a large meal. My arms were untoned and a little flabby.

Blaze finally emerged from the dressing room; she looked wonderful, but I knew she would. Everyone else seemed a little more surprised. Sonic wolf-whistled. Blaze narrowed her eyes warningly at him.

"You have great tits!" Rouge exclaimed loudly. Cream and Tikal shushed her, mildly mortified. "Where've you been hiding those?"

Blaze indeed have an impressive bust. The fact that the skirt was loose disguised the fact that the rest of her body was sort of rectangular - a straight line with no visible hips or waist. Not that any of that mattered, all bodies were beautiful. I just thought there was no harm in knowing your best physical features. Blaze's neck was graceful, the material didn't dig unflatteringly into her arms or shoulders, and the colour was absolutely beautiful on her.

"You look like a princess." Cosmo said seriously.

"I almost feel like one," Blaze admitted. She was smiling, running her hands along the material of her skirt. "I kind of love it." she confessed.

"You don't need to sound embarrassed about it!" Maria cried. "It's fun to dress up sometimes."

"Don't feel like you need to, though." Roge counselled. "Don't just wear it to make us happy."

"No, I do really like it." Blaze bit her lip. "What the hell, I'll wear it for something. I don't own any other dresses."

That was three down.

Tikal and Cosmo brought some dresses into the changing rooms, closely followed by Cream and Tikal. Rouge went to find someone who could get her a pair of heels in her size. Maria followed her, clutching the perfect pair of sandals.

"I'm going to go and get the book I want," Blaze told me and Sonic, having paid for her dress. "I'll be less than ten minutes."

"Cool, see you soon." Sonic said. She darted out of the shop and suddenly Sonic and I were alone.

"Aren't you going to try anything on?" he asked me.

"Um, I don't think so." I replied. I couldn't even look through the clothes now, not with him watching me. I'd be agonising over every dress I looked at, wondering what he thought of it. What he'd think of me in it.

"Do you have a dress already?"

"No, I'm just not sure if I'm gonna go."

"What? Why not?"

"Just …"

"School-dances are kind of lame, I know, but we usually have a good time. If you're worried about dates, don't. Maria and Shadow couple up, but they hung out with me and Knuckles and Rouge the whole time last year. We got pizza afterwards, it ended up being a great night. You should definitely come."

"I'll … think about it." I said. Was I lying? I didn't even know. "I won't be getting a dress today anyway though. I don't really like anything here."

"That's cool. So, do you wanna get out of here?"

"Huh?"

"For a little bit? I just have a load of energy." he was tapping his foot against the ground. "I need to walk around for a while."

"Um …" My brain was suffering from a severe and sudden lack of oxygen. Did this mean he wanted to spend time with me? Or was he just including me because he didn't want to leave me alone? "Will it be okay with everyone else."

"Sure, do you trust me?" he smiled. There was something about it that made me feel like he was including me in a joke a reference or - oh shit, was that an Aladdin quote? That scene on the balcony when he whisks Princess Jasmine away on a magic carpet ride and they sing A Whole New World together?

(It was no Beast giving Belle a library, but whatever)

Yeah Amelia, because he definitely remembers that five minute conversation you had a week ago.

I was projecting again.

He's being nice.

Stop expecting anything more meaningful.

There must have been a million ways to respond to his question. I could have made a snarky sarcastic remark like Rouge, giggled gracefully in a Maria-like fashion, rolled my eyes good naturedly á la Tikal, or made a Blaze-esque witty retort. I could have played it enthusiastically, I could have been nonchalant, I could even - I gulped - have played it flirtily if I'd really wanted to, which I most certainly didn't, God, talk about mortifying.

Instead I nodded shyly. We walked out of the shop and crossed the street together, making our way towards an open green area surrounding a small lake - a glorified pond really, but I was going by the sign. There was a woman watching her chao sniff flowers and a child throwing bread to some flickies while her father took photos on his phone, but other than that the place was empty. I didn't even see any stereotypical delinquent youths kicking cans or anything, like my granny was always complaining about - this just in, bored teenagers acting like bored teenagers! There was a pathway that rounded across the lake. We set off down it, quasi-companionably.

"So, I feel like we haven't really talked. I'm sorry if I've come across as rude or anything."

"Oh oh-no, don't worry, you haven't." I stammered. I was wracked with guilt - had I done anything to make him feel like he was being rude?

"What's up with you anyway? All settled in?"

"Yeah, mostly I guess."

"How are you finding Station Square? Must be weird after the city, I guess you're homesick."

"A little but um, I'm fine, it's just a bit of a change."

(Everyone was always asking me this and the answer was always the same. The truth was it was so much more than fine, but I couldn't bring myself to scare them off.)

Ask him something about himself.

"So, track?" I asked tentatively.

"Track?" he repeated, his expression perplexed.

"I mean, how's it going? With your meet coming up and all." Cringe cringe cringe.

"We're not doing too badly. Sally really did us a favour, stepping in at the start of the year. We were suddenly short a member."

"I remember you mentioning."

"Yeah, well there was this girl Mina - do you know her?"

"She's in my French class." The one you brought me too. She was also your date to the Sadie Hawkins last year. What happened there? Were you just friends or?

"Right well yeah, she's really into music. Fantastic voice, actually phenomenal. She was on the team in freshman year but she's focusing on her art this year. Sally stepped in. She's not as fast as Mina, but she's really determined. She's great. We've known each other for years. My dad used to work with her parents."

"Used to?"

"He left when I was in elementary school."

Something gave inside me; there was a cosmic shift and something slipped, not quite into place, but just within my reach which it hadn't been before. I nearly gasped from the waves it sent through me, this intangible thought, this intangible feeling that I desperately tried to cling to.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." he shrugged. "It's no big deal."

There was a pause. Something, a rational little voice that was practically hoarse for having been silent for so long, told me to let it sit …

"I mean, it was at the time." he continued, after a minute. We were starting our second loop of the lake, but he didn't slow down. "I was seven. I acted out a bit. But I see him during the holidays. It's not like … some major tragedy or anything. That's why I don't really talk about it. When other people have gone through so much worse, you know?"

"I get'cha …" I trailed off, distracted by him, his face, the faint hint of tension in his forehead, the downcast eyes. It was easier to look a him now, for some reason, seeing him like this. Unfiltered. Without all the bravado, the charm, the general nice-guy image.

I looked at him and for a second, it was like he was a real person.

A person with feelings.

With insecurities.

With baggage.

It had never really occurred to me before. Not really, not beyond a surface-level understanding.

I couldn't stop thinking about it now.

What if it were me?

What would I want someone to say to me?

"That doesn't mean you should bottle things up." I said. "You can talk to people, you know?"

You can talk to me.

"Yeah. I guess you're right." he admitted.

Please talk to me.

"I just don't feel like the others would get it, and they all have their own shit they're dealing with. I don't want to bother them I guess."

You wouldn't bother me.

"Like I said, it's no big deal." he said, almost chuckling. "It sucked for a while, but my mom's great. So are my siblings. We're all really close."

I need to talk to someone too.

I was practically shaking with the effort of holding it all back. I couldn't do it much longer. The words were going to burst out of me, tumbling over each other in their eagerness to get out there, to be heard, to be understood -

"Will we head back?"

I want to tell you.

"I get it." I said. I sensed him stiffen beside me. At any other time I'd be agonising over the implications of that tiny gesture but I couldn't stop now - I had to say something, I had to say this. "I get it. I mean. I know what it's like. The same thing happened to me. Not the exact same but, um, I don't see my dad. I actually haven't in years. He and my mum dated in high-school, she was pregnant with me when they graduated, and they broke up before I was born. He visited me sometimes, but he hasn't since I was three. He met someone else, and they got married and, you know. I get Christmas cards sometimes though. He um, I think he's forgotten my birthday. He never sends me anything anyway. I don't think his wife likes me. She's never met me but they have kids of their own, so it's a bit complicated. I mean I get it, why she wouldn't want him to see me or spend time with me, you know?"

We'd stopped walking. Sonic was staring at me, his expression unreadable. Did I want to read it? I paused to take a breath - the words wouldn't stop coming, I'd been holding them in for so long.

"I'm not trying to … hijack the conversation or anything, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to use what happened to you as an excuse to vent. I just, I wanted you to know that I understand. I know that we haven't known each other for very long, and that you probably kind of hate me because most people probably do, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me or anything like that. Just, yeah. You can talk to me. If you ever want to vent about it, because I understand. And I can promise you that it wouldn't be a burden or anything."

Oh God what was I saying? What was I doing? I was ruining everything.

I hadn't known Sonic for very long. I hadn't known any of them for that long. But they'd already completely changed my life. I laughed - I laughed so much now, I gave advice, I got to talk about fashion, I made disgusting pies in Home Ec with Maria, I went out shopping and to cute little coffee shops …

It was all so so unlike me.

But I'd never felt more like myself.

My real self. The one I had locked away in the corner of my mind, the person I wanted to be, the person I could be given the right circumstances.

How could I have been so stupid as to jeopardise that?

Is it any wonder he didn't want you, Amelia?

Fuck.

I felt my resolve collapse as Sonic took two steps towards me and -

His arms were around me.

He felt steady.

He smelt safe.

I wanted to sink into it.

"Hey. You're okay." he told me, his voice soft. "That was really brave of you to say. I really appreciate knowing that you're there for me." he pulled away from me, his expression serious. "What's this about everyone hating you?"

I shrugged, looking down at his shoes. I couldn't meet his eyes anymore, no way. Not anymore. Never ever again.

"Look, you're right, we don't know each other very well but I can't imagine anyone hating you. Silver and Blaze think you're great and I mean, Maria's practically in love with you - Shadow had better watch out, you could seriously steal his girl."

I chuckled weakly. My outburst had left me numb all over - there was something deep inside me which warned me that this could hurdle could be crossed if I just sank back into his arms, accepted what he was saying ...

"I think you're cool too. I almost enjoy History with you around." he teased.

It's my favourite class. I mean it always was, but I barely think about the lesson anymore. I'm just so aware of you.

"And I meant what I said - I really do appreciate the fact that there's someone there for me to talk to, and I really appreciate you telling me that. I know how hard it can be." he paused. "Do you wanna head back?"

I nodded.

"Cool," he smiled. He squeezed my shoulder and we set off to rejoin the rest of the group, walking side by side, my shoulder tingling the entire time.


	10. That's My Girl

"Rouge!"

"What?"

"Rouge!"

"Topaz, _what_?" Rouge yelled.

"Do you know where the Kilowatt highlighter is?" A tall, twenty-something year old bat walked into the kitchen. She didn't seem remotely surprised to see her kitchen full of highschool kids - Cosmo and Cream playing with makeup, a barefoot Maria texting away on her phone, Tikal showing Blaze a video about a show they both liked … and me, standing nearby. I shrank back slightly under the presence of this young woman, her expensive-looking cropped haircut, sparkly diamond earrings, and gorgeous white leather jacket. "Would you turn the music down?"

Rouge switched off the speaker. "Sorry, I forgot how modern music can sound to people your age."

"The highlighter?" Topaz repeated, ignoring the jab.

"I don't know, sorry." Rouge shrugged. "I may have left it at Knuckles' place." she paused. "Or Johnny's. Someone's anyway."

"Whatever," Topaz said, zipping up her jacket. "I'm heading over to Naoki's house, remember to lock the door tonight."

"Yes m'am." Rouge said, raising her fingers in a mock salute. "Enjoy your date! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Topaz snorted. "See ya girls. Cosmo, tell your sister I said hey."

"Oh, I will!" Cosmo promised.

Topaz left the room. There was a moment's silence as we listened to Topaz's heels click across the polished tiled floor, and the soft thud of the front door closing behind her. As soon as she was gone, Rouge put the music back on.

" _You got me some type of way, hmm_

_Ain't used to feelin' this way, mmm-mmm_

Rouge's house was everything I'd expected it to be. Wrought-iron gates, a gravel drive, and a lawn that looked like it had been flattened with an iron surrounding a two-story building with windows for walls. The interior was all white walls, modern artwork and minimalist furniture. The kitchen was full of shiny grey granite surfaces and a bowl full of fruit that was so unbruised and unblemished that I'd assumed it was fake until Maria popped a couple of grapes into her mouth. Rouge was searching for snacks for the rest of us.

"Maria, put the phone away." she commanded. Maria jumped, almost dropping her phone in the process.

"Shadow was just texting me to tell me he hopes we all have a good time." she huffed, but she slipped it into her pocket regardless.

"It's _girls_ night." Rouge said, throwing her hands up into the air in despair."No texting the significant other. That goes for you too, Tikal." she added warningly. "No texting cute Aussie raccoons, okay?"

Tikal sheepishly slipped her own phone back into her pocket. Rouge smirked and went back to examining the contents of her kitchen cupboard, wiggling her hips to the music.

"Tikal has a long-distance thing with this girl called Marine." Cosmo explained, smearing neon orange eyeshadow across her eyelids. Cream was experimenting with a shiny Too Faced lipstick. They looked like little kids playing at their mother's dressing table.

I remembered the raccoon in Tikal's photos on social media. Huh. That's who that was.

"That's really cute!" I gushed - did I sound too gushy? Too much like I was trying to sound woke and accepting? I mean I _was_ accepting, it was no big deal to me, but like would she _know_ that?

"It's no big deal." Tikal grumbled, though her blush said otherwise. "We just follow each other on tumblr and text sometimes."

"The fanfic writes itself." Maria giggled. She was moving to the music, spinning around and around.

Rouge sighed, emerging from the cupboard clutching various packets of pretzels and chocolate. "We're okay for snacks but do you guys want proper food?"

"I'm starving!" Tikal cried - I suspected that she was just happy that conversation had moved on from her love life (or lack of love-life).

I was pretty hungry myself. We hadn't really eaten in Knothole; Cosmo and Tikal hadn't been able to find anywhere vegan. Blaze, Rouge, and Cream went to Subway. I ended up staying with Maria. We'd wandered around shops looking for a birthday present for Shadow. She'd done most of the talking, but I was used to that at this stage. I actually liked hearing her talk about Shadow, her ballet classes … she didn't ask me many questions but I knew that it wasn't due to her being self-absorbed. I think she genuinely thought it was the best way of helping the shy new girl out, commandeering the conversation. Shadow wasn't much of a conversationalist either, even when with Maria, and I knew that she was an only child. She was probably used to having to fill the space with the sound of her own voice.

Besides, people liked to talk about themselves and their lives … letting them do so wasn't a bad way to endear myself towards them all.

I didn't even know what I would talk about, how to bring my interests up unprompted - reading, fashion, a mild fascination with tarot and crystals (I had a couple rattling around in one of my old purses somewhere.)

Besides.

I'd done enough talking.

I remembered my outburst with Sonic.

How could I have been so stupid? How could I jeopardise everything? Nobody would want to be friends with me if I couldn't shut up about myself and my insignificant problems - so what, your dad left you when you were a baby? He essentially abandoned you and your teenage mother? He's never shown the slightest interest in getting to know you? He hasn't sent you a birthday card since you were four? Boo fucking _hoo_.

Get a grip.

_You're so selfish._

_Why did you have to bother him with your bullshit?_

"Amy?"

Rouge's voice snapped me out of my trance. She was staring at me, one eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip.

"Sorry. Um, did you say something?"

"Any strong feelings about pizza?" Rouge asked, in the exasperated sort of tone that lets you know this isn't the first time they've had to say it. "I'm going to order a couple now."

"Oh I - what does everyone else like?"

"Don't worry about that." Rouge said. "You can't be any pickier than Tikal."

"Jeeze, nobody's letting me catch a break here." Tikal sighed. "I thought that I was your favourite Pacha sibling?"

"You are. That's a pretty low-bar though." she winked. "I mean, look at the competition."

"The competition whose face you were sucking at lunchtime on Thursday?" Blaze asked her, one eyebrow raised sceptically.

"The body wants what it wants." Rouge shrugged.

Tikal choked on a mouthful of pretzels. "Ew ew ew!" she squealed. "You can't say things like that about my _brother_."

"Not a bad kisser either," Rouge smirked. "Really strong lip muscles."

"This is disgusting. I have to go throw up." Tikal said, making her way towards the door making retching noises. A cackling Rouge grabbed her arm and spun her around, shimmying to the sound of Fifth Harmony.

Cream and Cosmo leapt up from the table to join them. Cream carefully stepped from side to side to the beat, while Cosmo got a little more experimental with her moves.

" _You've been down before_

_You've been hurt before_

_You got up before_

_You'll be good to go, good to go."_

"Amy?" Maria asked. Her blue eyes were wide with concern."Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah." I said, as brightly as I could manage. "Just a little tired."

She studied me for a split second before her face split into a smile. She took my hands and pulled me up from the chair. She jumped up and down, her blonde hair flying all around her. Her energy was infectious - soon I was jumping up and down as well, in spite of the voice in my head pointing out how heavy I was, how I was drawing attention to myself, how ridiculous I looked. Maria let go of one of my hands and beckoned Blaze over with her finger. Blaze let out an exaggerated sigh but quickly joined in, bopping her head up and down to the music while she grinned.

" _That's my girl_

_That's my girl_

_That's my girl_

_Get up, what you waiting for?"_

They danced with zero inhibitions, shaking their heads and bouncing up and down, singing the lyrics in clashing keys and at various pitches, totally uncaring about how they sounded. I felt like an imposter beside them -

But … was I being too hard on myself?

I had to start somewhere. I was here, I was present, I was doing my best to keep up with Maria's kinetic energy - like jeez, the girl had enough stored up inside her to power the entire town.

Fake it till you make it, right?

Rouge struck a pose as the song ended, everyone else quickly scrambling to join her - I followed their lead, unable to hold back my laughter as I saw the funny face that Cosmo was pulling.

The Jonas Brothers new song started playing, eliciting small squeals from most of the girls.

"Sophie Turner in this video, Amy." Blaze told me. "You know, Sansa's actress."

"Yeah?" I gasped - I hadn't done that much voluntary physical activity in longer than I cared to admit.

"Isn't she engaged to Joe?" Maria asked.

"Lucky bitch." Tikal sighed, shaking her head in mock-despair.

"My seven year old self is so jealous." Cream agreed. "Joe Jonas was my first celebrity crush."

"That's so cute." Blaze smiled. "Hey, how about we really bring out the nostalgia? Get a playlist up. That way we won't be arguing over what to listen to all night."

"And _that's_ why you're the diplomat of the group." Rouge said. "You can set one up, I'll go and order these pizzas."

"Extra cheese!"

"No pineapple - "

" _Yes_ pineapple."

"Hold the anchovies."

"Stuffed crust!"

"And remember - "

"Yeah yeah, I got it." Rouge waved their requests away with a flick of her manicured hands. She took her phone out of the room to take the order. Blaze's tail twitched as she scrolled through Spotify. She finally selected a playlist and the High School Musical soundtrack filled the room. Nobody batted an eye at the decision - Cosmo and Cream launched right into their own word-perfect rendition of "Start Of Something New".

I found it reassuring. I'd always been embarrassed about knowing all of the lyrics.

Rouge walked back into the room. "Food's ordered. So, what do you guys want to do now? Maria?"

"Can we play around with makeup?" Maria asked. "Practice some Halloween looks?"

"Sounds good!" Rouge said. "I need to update my page anyway. I'm struggling to get any bookings."

"You don't really need the money." Blaze pointed out.

"Still, I like the attention." Rouge smirked. "Amy, will you model for me?"

"Huh? Oh, I um - "

"Please?" she added, as an afterthought. "It'll be a good chance to get someone new on the page."

"I mean, okay sure. If you need me too." I said awkwardly. She gestured for me to sit down on a stool. She sorted through her surplus of supplies, occasionally glancing at my face and moving things around in accordance of what she saw. I took the opportunity to examine her face; blue cut-crease around the eyes, bold eyebrows, glossy pink lips, sharp contour and bright highlighter. I gulped.

The girls were all scrambling around on Pinterest for inspiration for their party-looks. I sat there in relative silence while Rouge prodded at my face, dabbing it with foundation, dusting it with shiny powder, poking my eyes with mascara. The rest of them chatted, experimenting with crazy eyeliner and purple lipstick. Cream, Tikal, and Cosmo put on their dresses and modelled for us. Cream looked lovely in her gold gauzy shift dress - it made her look older than she normally did, all the more striking because she generally looked a lot younger than her fifteen years. She thanked everyone graciously for their compliments. Tikal had found her dress in a charity-shop, a high-necked number made from printed material that came down to her knees. Cosmo radiated elegance in her off-the-shoulder gown.

"Do people usually bring a date to Homecoming …?" Cosmo asked tentatively, upon changing out of her dress. "I know we'll be hanging out as a group, I was just - "

"Why do you want to know, Cosmo?" Maria interrupted, her blue eyes shining. "Is there a guy you have your eye on?"

"A certain two-tailed yellow fox?" Tikal gasped in mock-surprise.

"I regret saying anything." Cosmo muttered. I tried to smile sympathetically at her, though it was kind of hard to do with Rouge shoving a powder brush in my face.

"What's happening there?" Rouge asked. "Or is anything happening …?"

"I really … I really don't know." Cosmo said. She let out a deep sigh. "It's a little complicated. What with his … situation."

My phone was vibrating in my pocket - probably a text from Mum. I'd check it later.

"I see." Blaze nodded. "By situation I'm assuming - ?"

"Him being trans. I mean," she clarified quickly. "I don't have any issue with it whatsoever, and even from an early age I guess I had an … intuitive understanding of some description. It's just, it's been so confusing for him. He's only recently gotten onto hormones, he's had such bad dysphoria, I don't think he's in the place for any sort of relationship. I just don't want to be anymore of a burden …" she trailed off, staring at the floor. Behind the winged eyeliner and positive outlook, I saw an anxious young girl who just wanted to do right by her best friend.

"You wouldn't be a burden!" Cream exclaimed. "Cosmo, Tails is so lucky to have you in his life!"

"You've always been so supportive of him." Tikal added.

"I'll always regret that I wasn't a better friend to him when he first came out." Cream said sadly. Cheese nestled into her lap and she stroked his head reflexively.

"At any rate," Maria added. "Yes, relationships take work, but if you're in the right one it doesn't feel difficult at all. It's about being a team more than anything else, being there for each other and supporting one another … like you already do."

"It's not just all of that, though. I mean, I don't know if he ever would like me like that anyway." Cosmo confessed. "It's not like you, Maria, you and Shadow are completely perfect for one another."

"This isn't about me and Shadow," Maria said quickly, though her face was pleasantly pink. "This is about you and Tails."

"I just don't think he likes me."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he did." I said. Cosmo's big blue eyes turned towards me, wide and vulnerable. Big sister instincts kicked in. "I mean, you're a really sweet person. You're talented, you're creative. You're really really pretty. You two have been friends for years and, I don't know, other little things - how he compliments you, how he helped you with dress shopping … I mean I can't say for sure, but I wouldn't rule it out…"

They were all staring at me - even Rouge had paused in the middle of her assault on my face. Had I overstepped horribly?

"Sorry, I - "

"You're so sweet to say that, Amy." Cosmo said, genuine warmth in her voice. "Thank you so much. Maybe you're right. I guess I'm a little insecure. You know, I had really bad anxiety when I was younger and that pops up now and again."

I was taken aback by how matter-of-factly she talked about the whole business. Judging by everyone else's non-reactions, it was apparently pretty common knowledge. Then again, Cream had an emotional-support pet. Maybe they didn't see it as a big deal.

It was an oddly comforting idea, but it also made me feel all the guiltier. What did I have to complain about? I'd already acted so selfishly with Sonic today … I refused to sit around feeling sorry for myself all night.

"Now, onto Tikal and Marine …"

"No-o-o!" Tikal moaned. "Let's not go there, please!"

Everyone burst out laughing.

"So Amy," Rouge began, tilting my head back so that she could have better access to my jawline. "What about you?"

"Me?"

"You know, any guys?"

"Or girls." Tikal added.

"Anyone waiting for you back in Mobius?"

"Ah - " Honestly, I'd be surprised if anyone back in Mobius had even noticed my disappearance. "Nope! "Haven't found the right guy yet I guess!" I said, rolling my eyes good-naturedly.

"Well, if you have your eye on anyone here in Station Square we can fill you in." Rouge continued. "Turn your head please."

I obeyed her command automatically, my heart racing. A guy? Really? Was that something I wanted?

I mean … I knew that I liked guys. In theory. And maybe-sorta-kinda one guy in practice. But I didn't really know what to make of all this girl-guy talk (not to be heteronormative).

"Johnny Lightfoot's pretty nice." Maria offered. "He's in the grade above us."

"Ah, I dated him for awhile last year." Rouge said. "Only good things to report." she added. I assumed that she was trying to reassure me but she punctuated this sentence with a wink that I found completely _un_ assuring.

"Who else is there?" Maria wondered. "Mighty? Fang? Jet?"

"Not Jet." Blaze interjected. "He has that whole situation with Wave."

"True. Plus he hates Sonic.

_Sonic._

My breath caught in my if they set me up with him? Images flashed in my mind. The two of us locked us in a closet together. The gang making plans and all cancelling at the last minute so that Sonic and I were left alone. Arranging for everyone to go away together but _oh dear looks like there's only one bed whatever will we -_

What was I thinking? All these scenarios, like something out of a fanfic … this was my real life here.

With a real guy.

Who was nice and made me laugh and who probably hated me for the way I'd acted earlier …

(I knew it was a destructive, unproductive way to think. Why would he hate me? Looking at it rationally, I knew that I was making no sense)

(That didn't help)

(Besides, would getting my help be any more productive?)

"We'll think about it." Rouge said, waving her hand flippantly. "Your face is finished by the way."

"Let's see!" Cream and Cosmo popped up on either side of her. "Oh wow!"

Rouge handed me a small compact mirror. I examined the face that was reflected in it, blinking and sticking out my tongue to make sure that it was really me - this girl with cheekbones, and well-defined eyes coated in golden glitter.

"You look lovely." Cream smiled.

"But like yourself. You with … the volume up." Maria said.

I smiled at the reflection and it smiled back at me.

"What do you think, Amy?" Rouge asked me, in a softer tone of voice than the one she usually used.

"I love it." I grinned. I wasn't lying. "Really. Thank you so much."

"You're the one doing me a favour." Rouge said nonchalantly, but she was smiling too, clearly happy with her handiwork. "Let me get a couple of pictures, hold on."

I didn't feel at all self-conscious being photographed. It was different wearing all of this make-up. I still felt like myself but a version of myself that was somehow detached from everything - an older, more put together version of myself. I got into a couple of selfies with the girls, totally unfazed by the procedure - even when Maria posted one to her Snapchat story.

I pulled my own phone out at that point, remembering the buzz of a notification against my was a text from mum, bidding me goodnight, but there was another message there, one that brought my cosmetics-induced confidence crashing down -

 **Sonic Webster:** So how goes girls night?

Even as I stared at the message, three grey dots appeared on the screen, shortly followed by a new one.

 **Sonic Webster:** Based on Maria's story it looks like you're all having a good time.

Texts?

From Sonic?

Unprompted? Unasked for?

Did this mean something?

What should I do?

What should I say?

Panicking, I slid my phone back into my pocket. The girls were gathering back around the kitchen island, eating pretzels and chocolate. They made a rough schedule for the rest of the evening - Netflix, pizza, maybe some more make-up if we were so inclined. We were just waiting for food to arrive so that we could go ahead with a film. Rouge was promising to lend clothes to Tikal, Cosmo, and Cream who were still apprehensive about the party.

I had no idea what I was going to wear yet. I wasn't sure if I'd go or not, but I'd said I would now in front of everyone …

I kind of wanted to go ..

My phone felt like a weight in my pocket. I didn't know what to do, how to respond to Sonic. I discreetly pulled it out and opened up Messenger.

What should I say?

How should I try to be? Witty? Flirty? Funny? Sarcastic?

_Just be yourself._

What did that even mean?

 **Amy Rose:** It's great! Just thinking of a movie to watch.

The reply came almost immediately.

 **Sonic Webster:** Let me guess … Mean Girls?

I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes.

 **Amy Rose:** I don't think that's really a thing anymore. Watching Mean Girls at a sleepover. Very 2012.

(Was that a bit mean?)

 **Sonic Webster:** I guess I'm just thinking of Sonia and her friends. Guys don't really have that sort of thing. We really missed out.

(You and me both.)

"Actually, backtracking a little to the subject of romance …" Blaze said slowly. My phone nearly slipped out of my hands - what was she talking about? Could she know? "A certain mongoose has left the track team …"

"Oh so _that's_ why Sally's on the team now!" Maria said, slapping her forehead - _no duh_. "I was wondering what that was about."

"I wonder why she left." Cosmo mused.

"Yeah, she was Sonic's only real competition."

(I automatically stored this information and its implications away in my brain - not only was Sonic on the track team, but he was one of if not the best. Sorry Jet.)

"Sonic um, he told me she was focusing on her music this year. Starting a band." I ventured tentatively. It was painfully obvious to me that I was trying to sound nonchalant - after all, what did this matter to me?

"I remember he mentioned it on Tuesday" Blaze nodded, her brow furrowed slightly.

"He did it earlier today too."

"When was that?"

"Oh … we went for a walk." I shrugged. My hands were clammy. I clenched them into fists and willed myself to relax - you'd have thought I was incriminating myself in some sort of terrible Ted Bundy-esque crime.

"Oh yeah, you guys did disappear for awhile." Rouge noted between a mouthful of popcorn. My skin prickled uncomfortably as I sat there, waiting for them to turn on me.

" _As_ I was saying," Blaze continued. "Clearly things haven't been sufficiently resolved."

I almost audibly sighed with relief.

"Maybe he was telling the truth?" Cream said. "Maybe she just lost interest in track and wanted to work on her band."

"I don't know …" Maria said thoughtfully.

 _What's going on?_ I wanted to scream. _What happened?_

I had to look uninterested. I looked like I cared too much what would they think? Would it make things awkward if they knew I was interested in their friend? _Mildly_ interested. A mild attraction. Infatuation. Possibly.

Maria seemed to mistake my desperate expression for one of confusion. "Oh, sorry Amy - "

"Should we let her know? No offence." Rouge added hastily. I nodded to let her know that there was none taken, in spite of how my skin was prickling uncomfortably. It felt too tight, like I was expanding underneath it, filling up the room like a big ugly eyesore. Like I didn't belong.

"We just don't really know if it's our place to tell you …" Tikal said apologetically.

"We don't know all of the details either." Cream added.

"I don't see why she shouldn't know what we know." Maria shrugged.

"No guys, it's fine - I'm not like, you know - " I stammered.

"You're one of us though!" Maria protested. I felt my face flush - one of them? I took a deep breath, trying to relax. They wouldn't have invited me if they didn't want me here. I repeated it again and again like a mantra. I don't know if I believed it or not, but it found comfort in the pattern.

"Okay, agh, essentially … last year Mina started hanging out with us. We weren't as big a group then, what with Tikal, Cream, Cosmo and Tails being in middle-school. Mina had been in our class all the way through, we got along with her, so she started sitting with us occasionally, no big deal. She and Sonic had always been friendly and they ended up on the track-team together …"

"It was pretty obvious that she liked him. Like, the _whole_ time. Sonic caught on eventually and kind of went along with it." Maria continued from where Blaze had left off.

"I mean, I wouldn't say he led her on or anything - " Blaze interjected. "He was trying to be nice."

"Yes, okay I realise how that sounded. Sorry." Maria apologised. "Basically they went to the Sadie Hawkins dance together, it's a Valentine's tradition here. I think they kissed? Shadow wasn't sure."

They turned to look at Cosmo. She blinked, startled by the attention. "Oh um, Tails never said anything either. I don't think that Sonic's a kiss-and-tell kind of guy."

"About the only one who isn't." Rouge muttered.

"Rouge you tell us the exact measurements of every guy you've ever been with." Blaze pointed out.

"Only the ones who are jerks."

"As long as you never ever bring up Knuckles in - "

" _Anyway_. They had a fight over the Summer and since Mina's left the team we can come to the conclusion that things weren't properly resolved." Blaze finished me, ignoring Tikal and Rouge entirely.

" _Or_ that Sonic tried to resolve things but Mina wasn't happy about what he said." Maria shrugged. "I feel bad for her." she added, almost as an afterthought.

"Makes sense," I said, feeling a twinge of pity myself. "Unrequited love isn't fun."

"Preach." Cosmo sighed.

"So … they didn't date or anything?" I asked tentatively.

"Not officially anyway." Maria shrugged. She pulled a grape from the bunch in the fruit bowl and popped it into her mouth, sucking it slowly. "I don't think Sonic's really dated anyone, or ever been interested in anyone."

"He's kind of private." Blaze agreed.

The doorbell rang.

"Pizza!" Rouge announced, brightening up. "Cream, Cosmo - help me bring it out?"

The three of them sped out of the room, Cheese tumbling after them. Blaze let out a yawn, staring lazily into space. Maria and Tikal were both on their phones again, obviously discreetly trying to text Shadow and Marine.

My own phone buzzed and I realised that I'd never responded to Sonic. Was that good or bad? I mean it could make me look like I didn't care - which I didn't, not _really -_ or that I wasn't annoying him or bothering him, that I was having fun with everyone and not hanging onto my phone and checking it every five seconds … but it could also look really rude and Sonic had been so kind to me ...

 **Sonic Webster:** Hey, I know you're busy and I'll let you get back to your sleepover but I just wanted to see if you were okay after earlier?

Oh. My stomach sank. Oh _no_.

 **Amy Rose:** I'm fine! But I really need to apologise for that, I don't know what came over me. I probably didn't get enough sleep or something. I'm so sorry for taking over and dumping all of my drama on you, it really wasn't fair of me at all.

_You're so annoying, Amelia!_

Little grey dots appeared on my screen and I quickly put my phone away, trying to push away the anxious voice in my head telling me that sending that message had been a huge mistake.

I didn't have to try very hard as I was immediately distracted by Rouge, Cream, Cheese and Cosmo re-emerging. Rouge was carrying boxes of pizza, Cosmo had a large blue bag in one hand, and Cream was holding a large cake with pink sparkly birthday candles.

Maria's eyes widened and she let out a little squeal of surprise. "You guys!" she gasped.

"You didn't think we'd forgotten, did you?" Rouge said, winking playfully.

"Kinda." Maria admitted. "I don't make a big deal out out of it."

"Too bad." Tikal teased. "We want cake!"

Cream set the cake down on the table. It was a Victoria Sponge cake, oozing with jam and cream, dusted lightly with icing sugar and dotted with strawberries.

"And it's my favourite kind!" Maria exclaimed, almost choking with happiness. "Cream you really shouldn't - "

"That's not all!" Cosmo interrupted, practically bouncing up and down with excitement. She gestured at the large bag she was holding and started pulling various wrapped gifts out of it. "These are from us and there's some from the guys here too - "

It was amazing what you could gather about a person from the sort of gifts they gave, and what you could tell about a person from what other people gave them. Sonic and Silver went halfsies on a cinema voucher. Blaze gave Maria a box of Instax film (ever the practical) and a Hufflepuff scarf that clashed horribly with her blonde hair. Tikal (and Knuckles) gave her three Lush bath-bombs and a Swan Lake record she proudly announced that she'd found in a charity shop. Cream shyly offered her a handknitted Chao. Cosmo had done some sketches for her wall. Rouge, smirking slyly, gave her a posh lipstick and a rather racy pair of underwear.

"I'm sure Shadow will love them." she said suggestively. Blaze and Tikal rolled their eyes. Maria shook her head, her pretty face stained with pink.

"Do you know what Shadow got you?" Cosmo asked eagerly.

"No, but he's coming over for dinner tomorrow." Maria said, toying with her fork. The candles had been blown out and we were all eating pizza and birthday cake and chugging Diet Coke. I felt full already, but not even from the food - from the whole atmosphere in this kitchen.

I felt bad about not having a present for Maria. She'd been so kind to me, it was the least that I could do …

But, I reminded myself, she hadn't been expecting it. I hadn't even known it was her birthday. It was funny how little it phased me - I knew deep down that she wouldn't turn on me for it, or that she'd hate me or judge me. She didn't have an agenda, she was just a nice person.

It was amazing how little it bothered me. But I couldn't even feel unsettled right now.

"We didn't think we'd be hanging out tonight, we thought you and Shadow would have plans." Blaze said, between a mouthful of cake.

"Well we always have dinner at my house on Sunday." Maria explained. "You know what his parents are like if he were to come and see me twice in a row - and besides," she smiled at me. "I really wanted a day with my girls."

I smiled back at her.

"So, in honour of it being Maria's birthday," Rouge announced. "How about she chooses the movie?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. It wasn't long before we were sprawled across Rouge's family's sofa, eating popcorn and watching _When Harry Met Sally_. We were a jumble of limbs, legs stretched out across each other, heads in laps or against shoulders. I sat there, pressed against Maria and Cream and tried to think about when I'd last been this happy.

Towards the end of the film Maria got up to call Shadow to wish him goodnight. I took advantage of my newfound free space and checked my notifications.

 **Sonic Webster:** No you should feel free to talk about those things and I promise you that you weren't bothering me at all.

Oh God, I wanted to believe that.

 **Amy Rose:** Thank you.

"Shadow sends his love." Maria announced, walking back into the room. "Amy, mind scooching over?"

I obliged as much as I could without ending up in Creams' lap, still looking down at my phone.

 **Amy Rose:** You can talk to me too. If you ever need or want to, I mean.

Was I overstepping?

 **Sonic Webster:** I really do appreciate that. And you telling me all that stuff and like, it's just good to know there's someone who doesn't mind me venting. Just so you know, if you ever want to talk to someone you know where to find me.

 **Amy Rose:** On the track?

(Huh. It was kind of easy to deflect with humour through text)

 **Sonic Webster:** Haha, yeah basically.

 **Sonic Webster:** But seriously.

 **Sonic Webster:** You're pretty cool Miss Rose.

I had to bite back my smile.

 **Amy Rose:** Not the word I'd immediately use to describe myself but thanks! You're not too bad yourself!

I was typing out the compliment and hitting send before I could over analyse it.

 **Sonic Webster:** I'll let you get back to the sleepover. See ya

 **Amy Rose:** You too.

The film drew to a close. Everyone started to yawn and stretch, getting up from the large squashy sofa. Maria rubbed sleep from her eyes. Cosmo was already nodding off, drooling onto Tikal's sleeve. Tikal took a sneaky picture of the scene. "It's her birthday soon after all." she giggled.

"Speaking of, thanks for tonight girls." Maria smiled. "I had a great time."

"It was nothing," Blaze said. Rouge put her arm around Maria and squeezed her shoulder.

"It wasn't the most exciting of nights, but I guess that's what next weekend is for." Rouge admitted. "By the way guys, I'll happily do make-up for you all for the party if you want, I'd like to practice SFX."

"That would be so cool!" Cream exclaimed. Cheese chirruped in agreement, waking Cosmo up suddenly.

"What happened?" she asked.

"They realised that men and women can't be just friends. Yay for the eighties and heteronormativity." Tikal sighed, though she was smiling, clearly not taking herself seriously.

We grabbed our bags from the hallway and Rouge led us up the stairs to her room - which was practically the size of our studio back in Mobius. The bed was almost five times the size of my current one and barely took up a quarter of the room's space. Everyone set about getting ready for bed. I dithered for a second about where I should change - everyone else was stripping down in front of each other and I didn't want to appear awkward. I changed as quickly as possible into an oversized t-shirt and patterned shorts.

"Do you think it's true? The thing in the film?" Cream asked suddenly. She'd changed into a pair of cute plaid pyjamas.

"What?" Rouge asked. She was at the Venetian glass mirror, rubbing her face with a makeup wipe in nothing but a pair of Victoria's Secret briefs and a loose white top. She passed one to me too and I reluctantly removed what remained of Rouge's handiwork.

"That guys and girls can't be … just friends. That there's always some weird romantic tension between them."

"Oh that's not true." Blaze said, pulling her glasses off her face and blinking warily. "You can keep a relationship platonic."

"We're friends with Tails, aren't we?" Tikal asked.

"I guess …" Cream shrugged. She was chewing on one of her fingernails with Cheese curled up in her lap. Nobody pressed her for anymore information.

"Okay, I'll take the floor." Rouge announced. "Blaze? Tikal?"

"Sure thing." They disappeared into Rouge's walk-in closet, re-appearing with blankets and spare pillows. They made themselves a little nest on the ground and settled down there. Rouge fell asleep almost immediately - she looked vulnerable, a lot younger without the layers of makeup, and clutching onto a ratty old baby-blanket.

"Goodnight girls." Blaze said. "Cream, will you get the light?"

Cream turned the switch, causing the pool of light bathing the room to shrink into darkness. Cream, Cosmo, Maria and I all clambered into the big bed together. Cheese curled up at the foot of the bed. One by one they drifted off to sleep - Cosmo, Blaze, Tikal, and Cream

I could sense Maria nodding off beside me, though she tried to fight it for a while.

"Amy?" she murmured.

"Yeah?" I whispered.

"I just wanted you to know that I really like having you around. Thanks for being here."

It was a good thing it was dark so that she couldn't see my blush. "Thanks for inviting me. And including me and everything."

"Don't mention it …" she yawned. Her breathing slowed down and I knew that she was fast asleep. I on the other hand was wide awake - I kept replaying the events of the night in my mind, trying to recall every detail so that I could relive the overwhelming sense of quiet contentment that I'd felt.

But there was something gnawing at the back of my mind …

I got my phone out, opened Snapchat, and took a quick, blurry photograph of mine and Maria's arms, side by side on the bed.

 _Operation steal Shadow's girl complete_ read the caption. I sent it to Sonic before I could think twice about it - would he even see it? Would he still be awake?

A message appeared seconds later - a photo of a bedroom wall, the corner of a headboard just visible.

_Maria's got good taste_

I almost dropped the phone on my face. A wave of something washed over me, excitement, shock, panic, _something_.

Another message appeared. I tapped on it quickly, my heart thumping in my chest. Another photo of the same wall, the same headboard, only at a slightly lower angle so the tips of his cobalt quills were just visible -

_Go to sleep_

\- maybe it was the sleep deprivation, the tail-end of my sugar induced buzz, the general happiness I felt, but I sent another snap in reply.

_Boring_

_Sensible. You're meant to get eight hours you know._

_Sounds fake but okay_

_Definitely not fake._

_Why aren't you asleep then?_

_Because I'm terrible at following any advice_

_Even your own?_

_Especially my own. I should sleep though, more training tomorrow._

_Sounds fun_

_I enjoy it. Anyway. Goodnight Amy._

_Goodnight Sonic._

_Sleep well._

_You too._

He sent me one more message; a bitmoji sticker of our two avatars - his was staring up at a moon with my face in it.

I snorted audibly, quickly stopping myself as I waited for some of the girls to notice or wake up. They didn't. I let out a sight of relief that quickly became one of frustration.

Shit shit _shit_.

Meg Ryan would be so disappointed in me.


	11. Keep Up

We woke up late on Sunday morning. It passed by sluggishly - yawning, stretching, staring at our phones, groggily eating pancakes (made by an ever-peppy Cream - I cannot understand morning people). The girls chatted about nothing and giggled happily, but they were subdued for the most part. We crashed on the sofa and watched three episodes of _Queer Eye_ , licking Nutella and maple-syrup off our fingers. Maria idly braided strands of my hair and we made loose plans for the party, settling on costumes and make-up …

In short, it was _amazing._

Cream offered myself and Maria a lift home. I felt a little weird, stepping into Ms Barony/Vanilla's little blue Skoda, but she smiled pleasantly and asked after my family and how we were finding the move ("I keep meaning to drop something over, Cream dear you need to remind me to do it this week!"). She seemed satisfied with my brief responses and switched on the radio. Cheese chirped along to the music. We dropped Maria off at her house first, a narrow white-walled townhouse with a small patch of flowerbed, surrounded by a rusty gate. There was a rustle behind the netted curtains - an elderly hedgehog with a salt-and-pepper mustache. She pecked my cheek as she left the car, and I basked happily in the knowledge that I was, to some degree, wanted.

It wasn't until I stepped in the front door that I realised how exhausted I was. The early start on Saturday, the long day socialising, walking around, the conversation by the lake, the sleepover, the late night Snapchatting - it had all caught up on me. It was a little past lunchtime so I heated up some soup for myself. Mum and Abigail weren't home. I went into my bedroom, picked my netbook up from the windowsill and crashed onto the bed with it. I fell asleep to the _Crazy Ex Girlfriend_ theme song, my belly full of tomato soup and my head full of memories of the last twenty-four hours.

(x x x )

Mum woke me up for dinner a littler after six. I sat at the table, eating nuggets, oven-chips, and beans even though I didn't feel hungry. Abigail told me all about her weekend while I nodded and made enthusiastic comments at the right moment. I could feel my mother's eyes on me, watching me with a mixture of curiosity and apprehension. I knew that she wanted to ask me about my sleepover but didn't know how to approach it after my outburst on Friday.

Wrought with guilt I made a few upbeat remarks about the whole business and thanked her profusely for the money. I kissed her cheek before heading back to my room, still absolutely exhausted - I wasn't used to all of this, I reminded myself. Having friends, having a social life.

No wonder I felt drained.

I went back to bed and scrolled through social media for a few minutes no I wasn't checking for snaps from Sonic, ew gross. Rouge had posted a picture of me on her professional Instagram which had already amassed a hundred likes and dozens of comments - _love the eyeshadow! amyyrose you're so pretty! This looks awesome!._

Definitely wasn't invisible anymore. Because of the tag more people from school had added me and sent me follow requests, which I accepted after a second's hesitation.

(No Snapchat notifications)

(Not that I cared)

My newsfeed was flooded with images of Maria the girls had posted for her birthday - old throwback selfies showcasing a variety of hairstyles - including some of the worst bangs that I'd ever seen. Maria had posted the group selfie from the bus, a selfie of her and Cream from our day in Knothole, a picture of her birthday cake, another group shot from the sleepover and, finally, a picture of her and Shadow that seemed to have been taken at her house that evening - I recognised the top she was wearing from earlier. She was beaming at the camera, holding it in front of them both, and his face was half-buried in her long blonde locks. I'd never seen him look this soft - it was unsettling, but in a sweet way.

_Best birthday ever! Thanks to everyone who helped me celebrate becoming the dancing queen! You're all wonderful people and I'm so lucky to have you guys in my life x_

I couldn't stop smiling as I liked the picture and posted a love-heart emoji in the comments underneath.

There were some messages in the groupchat. I had one from Silver as well, a link to a funny interview with Kit Harrington, one of many similar videos he'd been sending me. I made a mental note to watch it later.

(Should I snap Sonic?)

(Was that appropriate?)

(What would I even send?)

I fell asleep still musing over it all, the faint memory of how it was to hug him at the tips of my fingers.

(x x x )

I didn't wake up until Monday morning, when Abigail ran into my room, already dressed for school. I'd overslept and had no time to think before running out the door, pulling a jumper on over my head and shoving a slice of bread into my mouth. I barely registered my first couple of classes - apart from a faint awareness of Mina sitting on the other side of the room during French - and it wasn't until the bell rang to single the end of Chemistry that I realised, with a jolt, that I hadn't done my history essay.

No biggie. One assignment two months into my Sophomore year, unlikely to screw me over - nothing to worry about. I repeated this fact over and over again in my head as I walked slowly down the hall towards the classroom, my heart pounding with every step I took. Breathe Amelia, breathe - shit, how did you breathe again? My breaths came out jerkily, self-conscious, straining against my chest. By the time I reached the door of Mr Oak's room I felt faint. I could see him, standing, glaring at the class -

"Amy?"

Sonic had just arrived at the door. I hadn't seen him all day - he'd been at the gym during lunch again."What's the matter?" he asked. I shook my head furiously, unable to speak. I didn't want him to know how stupid I was being.

"Nothing!" I squeaked.

"Something's clearly up." he said dubiously. "Come on."

" _Miss Towell ? Amelia's crying again."_

"Nothing!" I said, even as my eyes brimmed with tears. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "I'm okay."

" _You're such a crybaby Amelia! That's why nobody wants to play with you!"_

He bit his lip and looked around the hallway. "Shit, okay follow me." he said. He grabbed my arm - _zing_ \- and pulled me into the empty alcove by the gym.

"Are you going to tell me what's up?" he asked me.

"Nothing's up!" I cried. It was true, it _was_ nothing. There was no reason for me to get like this, no reason at all. I just needed to go somewhere by myself until it was over.

"Well you're very clearly not okay."

"I'm just being stupid." I whined, my voice wobbling. "It's no big deal!"

"Doesn't matter." Sonic said seriously. "Besides, if it's upsetting you this much it's clearly a problem."

I didn't say anything - I couldn't. The words were half-formed, a bitter lump in my throat that I couldn't swallow. My eyes stung and I was so annoyed with myself because _it wasn't a big deal_. I knew it wasn't a big deal. That just made me all the more upset. Why why why did I have to care so much about such inconsequential things? Was there something wrong with my brain? I'd always been this way to the point that I thought that it was normal. It had taken me years to realise that no, not everyone has panic-attacks on a weekly basis over things like homework or being late for class.

"Do you want to go outside …?" he asked tentatively.

"What about class?" I sniffed. "You should go. I'll be fine."

I needed to lock myself in the bathroom. Gain some control over my breathing. Listen to a song or two on Spotify - upbeat 2000s pop numbers, sung by some former Disney channel starlet. Nostalgic distractions.

"As entertaining as it would be to listen to Stick's latest conspiracy theory - " (I snorted, despite myself) "- I don't think that I'd feel comfortable leaving you upset. Wouldn't be very chivalrous. Come on."

I hated the look of concern on his face - I didn't deserve it, at all. I was a terrible person and the fact that I nodded and followed him out the side-door of the building was a testament to that. He held it open for me, which made me want to cry harder.

We stepped outside, around the back of the building and started to walk. A cold breeze blew through us. I shivered in spite of my thick jumper.

"Do you want a drink or anything? I have an energy-drink in my bag - "

"I'm fine." I said quickly. _Why are you being so nice to me?_

"Okay. So, do you want to tell me what's up?"

It was so weird being with him again, now that I knew what his clothes smelt like, the way his body felt against mine.

"It's really stupid. It's just I, um, I didn't get the homework done. For Mr Oak. I don't know what he'll say. And yeah."

"I see."

"I told you it was stupid." I said, shrinking back involuntarily. "I'm sorry."

"No, I mean he can be a scary guy, and you haven't been here long so you don't know what will happen if you mess up."

"Yeah … " I was surprised that he understood. "I'm also tired. Just, a lot of factors."

"Long weekend?"

"You could say that."

"It must be rough. Moving and everything. Takes a lot out of you."

"I'm really sorry." I sniffed. "I know that I'm being stupid, like it's nothing to cry over. I _know_ that."

"No hey, Amy, it's cool."

"I'm fine, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just get stressed sometimes. It can all be a bit much."

"You feeling homesick?"

"Sorry?"

"I mean, you said on Saturday that you're a bit homesick. Just, you know, might explain why you're feeling … fragile. You must miss the city."

I internally winced - yikes. Was that how he saw me? Was that how I appeared?

_Was he wrong?_

No.

But I didn't want him to think of me like that. I didn't want to think of me like that.

"No, not really." I said quickly. "At least … not in the ways people would expect."

"Meaning?"

"Well … you know, people go on about all of the things you can do, museums and galleries and theatres. Artsy shops and cool restaurants and everything. I don't, I mean that was never really my scene."

"Really?"

"I mean, those things were great. I didn't get to check out a lot of that stuff, because I had to mind my sister or they were too expensive, but I enjoyed fashion exhibitions and things."

"Oh yeah, you're into that stuff."

"Mm-hm."

"Do you make your own clothes or anything?"

"I can alter things a little." I said modestly. "Basic embroidery, um taking up hemlines … customisation rather than making brand-new things."

"That's really cool. That's like a really useful skill to have. Mum always despairs over the fact that Sonia can't sew buttons."

"That's your sister, right?"

"Yeah. My mum would be really impressed by your expertise."

"You're sweet." I said, feeling my face flare up. Why couldn't I be as cool and casual as I was over text? The playful banter - it was all so much easier behind a screen. I felt that I could be more true to myself then.

"You have a good eye, I mean the dresses you picked out for the girls-"

"Oh, those were just suggestions." I interjected. "I just told them what would flatter them, shapes and colours and all that. It's pretty frivolous stuff anyway."

"Amy, please, you need to learn how to accept compliments."

"I don't get a lot of them." I told him, truthfully. I realised that that could have sounded like I was asking for attention … but I was being honest.

"That's something we'll need to work on." Sonic grinned. A jolt ran down my spine - we?

"What are you planning on wearing anyway? What kind of stuff suits you?"

"Um, I don't really know. I haven't really worn any dresses like that before."

"Like what?"

"You know … dance-dresses." I explained. "I … haven't really been to one before."

I waited for the surprise, the outrage, the judgement, but instead Sonic just nodded. "I see. Well, it's not that big a deal, nobody really cares what people wear. I barely give it a second's thought."

"I mean … you _are_ a guy."

(Presumptuous of me, I know. But still.)

"True. Yeah, actually it's a lot easier for us. I wore the same suit for last year's dances and I'll probably wear it again this year."

"Lucky. Though I mean, there are more adventurous options for guys now." I pointed out. "Coloured tuxedos, plaid pattern - "

"That might be a little beyond Station Square for the time being." Sonic smiled. "We're all pretty dull."

"I don't think so." I frowned. "I don't think so at all."

"Station Square's a bit of a dump." Sonic sighed.

"You don't like it here?" I asked. I could hear the surprisement in my own voice - what wasn't there to like about this cosy little town?

He shrugged. "I don't know if I _dis_ like it. I mean, I've never lived anywhere else. I guess it's just a bit … small."

I hummed in agreement. "That's been the biggest shift. In Mobius you're a lot more anonymous. Meanwhile you guys stop to talk to little old ladies in coffee shops."

"Yeah I mean, it's nice in that regard. Still. I don't know, would it be lame to say that it makes me feel restless?"

"Why would that be lame?"

"Just, it's really typical. Small-town guy looking for something more. Adventure in the great wide somewhere." he added in a sing-song voice.

" _Beauty and the Beast_." I noted with a smile.

"It was Sonia's favourite movie." he grinned. "But anyway, I don't know. I feel a little stifled here. It's like you know everything about everyone already. They know you. It's hard to break out of the mould, you know?"

"I get what you mean. But … isn't that easier in some ways? Not having to always explain yourself?"

"Sometimes. But I feel like it generally makes it harder. For me anyway" Sonic shrugged. "I guess that I feel a lot of pressure to keep it together for everyone else. Take Tails for example, we've been best friends for years and he's been going through this whole transition thing. Knuckles and Silver have their complicated love lives - which I'm sure you've caught on to by now."

"You could say that …"

"The whole Knuckles and Rouge situation is a bit of a mess, I don't even know what to tell you. We all know that they're hooking up but they act like it's not happening, to the point where they're going out with other people."

"Do you think they're trying to make each other jealous or something …?"

"I think that's what Knuckles is doing. I couldn't tell you what Rouge is doing. Maybe she just enjoys the freedom, who knows?"

"Maybe. Still. It's good that you guys can all hang out together, you know?"

"Oh yeah, definitely. We aren't gonna let sudden hormonal urges wreck that. Still, I can see why Silver is worried about wrecking the friendship."

 _Because of you and Mina_.

He didn't say anything for a few seconds, letting a silence settle between us. I intuitively knew that he had a foot in the door, giving me an opening but I didn't know what to ask or how to ask it in a way that was natural. I couldn't reveal what the girls had told me. He already said that he felt confined by everyone knowing his business … and I didn't want him to feel like that around me.

He broke the silence himself. "So what's your story?"

"Huh?"

"You've a boyfriend back home? Girlfriend?"

Agh. Not this again. "No. Definitely no girlfriend. I'm straight!" I said, a little too forcefully - _Hey! I'm a teenage girl who is interested in teenage guys! Just so you know! For possible future reference!_

"Probably for the best. Long distance and everything, the logistics of it and everything. I just figured you would have."

"What do you mean by that …?" I asked slowly, though my heart was _thump-thump-thumping_ at an alarming rate. Was that a compliment or ..?

"Nothing bad - oh jeez, I realise how that might have sounded." he raked his hand through his quills again. "You just expect people from the city to be more mature I guess, have some more life experience. And I mean, like I said, you seem pretty cool."

"You seem to have a lot of beliefs about the city." I noted, looking away so that he wouldn't see the blush I could feel spreading across my face. I was suddenly extremely conscious of how awful I must have looked - hair unbrushed, oversized sweater, no

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it a lot. Living there I mean. What it'd be like. Free from everyone's expectations, all the pressures. Sometimes I daydream about hopping on a bus and never looking back."

"Running away?"

"Exactly."

"I can see the appeal. I mean, it's basically what we did."

"Your family?"

"Yeah."

"Did you ever tell me why you moved here?"

"Um, we inherited a place. My grandmother's. It just made more sense, a better environment and everything."

"Grass is greener, I guess." he shrugged.

"I really like it here." I confessed. "But I do miss the city. What you were talking about, the anonymous factor. It's easy to disappear."

"What do you want to disappear from though?"

I stopped in my tracks.

"Amy?" Sonic asked, his brow furrowed. "Are you okay?

"I'd never really thought about it before." I said slowly. "Weird …"

"Oh?"

"Maybe … I don't know. I don't know what I'm running from. I just … am."

A silence fell between us. Sonic led me towards a small green area at the back of the building - essentially a patch of grass with a hunk of brick, painted with a rather ugly mural of interlocking hands. There was an empty bench which he wordlessly sat down on. I followed suit. We were further apart than we would have been in history class and those extra centimetres of space irritated me - I wanted to breathe in his scent, feel his presence next to me so _so_ badly. I wanted to move closer but I didn't know how to do that organically, without making a spectacle of it. It had to be natural.

There were a couple of dandelions growing underfoot. I plucked them from the ground and began running them through my hands. Sonic looked back over at me.

"So … can I ask you something?"

"Sure …" I said cautiously.

"You don't have to answer." he clarified. "I just … I was curious."

"Sonic," I said, my heart hammering. I tore one of the dandelion leaves in half. "You're kind of stressing me out here."

"Just, you have a sister right?"

"Yeah …?"

"And just, what with your dad and everything."

"Oh." _Oh!_ Was that all? "Yeah, Abigail and I have different dads."

"Right," he nodded, looking a little embarrassed. "Sorry if I was prying."

"No, it's fine!" I insisted. "He um, he's not in the picture either."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's alright. It's just the three of us now."

Ronan died in a car accident when I was ten years old. Six years ago, not an eternity but I still struggled to remember much about him. He had cyan-blue fur, grey eyes, and a devilish grin. He wore a denim jacket and had a piercing in one ear. He'd been nice to me, bringing me to the park and out for ice-cream - or so mum told me. I really didn't remember - if I thought about it for too long my skin started to prickle uncomfortably. I put that down to jealousy - he'd been mum's only boyfriend apart from my father and I suppose that I hadn't wanted to share her - as well as feeling ashamed over getting so jealous, when looking at how heartbroken mum had been when he'd died. Then she found out that she was pregnant again.

I'd ended up staying with my grandparents for a month while she was in hospital.

I didn't want to think about it.

"So how are you feeling now?" he asked me. I knew that he was asking about today and I shoved all thought of Ronan and mum's time in hospital out of my mind.

"Better. Thanks." I smiled. It was true - the conversation had calmed me down a lot, put things in perspective. I didn't feel as nervous around Sonic anymore either - I mean, the occasional thrill when he smiled or when we brushed against each other … but he was surprisingly easy to talk to. Everyone was easier to talk to now.

"No problem."

"No I mean it." I said. "I really appreciate it. I was being ridiculous, really unreasonable."

"Nah," he replied, shaking his head. "Life's a bit much sometimes, it gets to us all."

"Hm …"

His comment was equal parts comforting and unsettling - _but there's something actually_ wrong _with me, something in my brain, in my biology_ , I wanted to say. But I didn't want to spoil things. Even though it was cold outside, even though we were sitting on a hard bench facing the school bins, even though I looked like a mess, even though it wasn't like anything out of my head … I liked being here. I liked being with Sonic. I wanted to be with him.

"It gets to me sometimes too."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I told you that I acted out a bit when my parents split up, my mum thought I needed to channel that somewhere. Signed me up for sports - soccer, basketball, all that. It didn't really work for me."

"Yeah?"

"Team sports aren't really my thing." he shrugged. "But then I tried track. The coach told me to run and I did. I've been running ever since. I mean yeah, there's a couple of events where you have to work with everyone else, but for the most part you're just putting distance between yourself and everything else, everything that you feel is holding you back."

"I never looked at it that way." I said. "There's something … intriguing about it."

"Do you wanna try?"

"Oh no, I mean I couldn't - "

"Why not?"

"I've never tried before." I told him. "Outside the bleep test and things like that."

(I still had nightmares about the fucking bleep test).

"Maybe now's the time." he suggested. "Come on, I'll show you the track."

He stood up from the bench and grinned at me. I was compelled to follow his lead, the torn up dandelions falling from my lap onto the ground. He brought me to the modestly-sized track field - a synthetic circle surrounding another bare green patch of grass. It was empty except for us.

"Are you sure we're allowed to be here?" I asked, tentatively stepping onto the scuffed brown surface. "Without a teacher?"

"Don't worry about it. Coach Nack loves me. We're untouchable." he winked. My eyes flickered towards the ground for a second as I tried to suppress the rush of warmth running through my body.

"Someone's cocky" I smiled.

"Nah, it's only cockiness if it's undeserved. I'm just confident in my abilities as a runner. I just happen to be the best."

"I can sympathise with Jet now."

Sonic burst out laughing. I'd made him _laugh_. I bit back my grin, warmth spreading from my head to my toes.

"Let's see how you get on." he said to me.

"No, I can't." I protested, shaking my head furiously. "I don't - I'll look stupid."

"You won't. Here. I'll stand beside you if that'll help."

He stood in place beside me and began to stretch. After a couple of seconds he turned to look at me expectantly. "You need to stretch as well."

"Oh - right." I stammered, pulling my eyes away from his torso - his shirt had crawled up his body, revealing a sliver of his smooth skin. I awkwardly copied his movements for a couple of seconds, self-conscious of my stiff limbs and general lack of grace.

"Okay, you ready?" he asked me. "Just - don't think. Just run until your mind can't keep up anymore."

 _Easier said than done_ I thought to myself, but I nodded.

"Great. Let's go."

He was running before the words had fully left his lips, almost knocking me over with the force of his speed. I watched him for a few seconds as he moved around the track, his feet sending him further and further away - I'd never seen anyone run that fast before.

I staggered after him, almost stepping over my ankle in my haste - my shoes were less fit for this than I was. For the first minute or so I felt uncomfortable, all too aware of my stilted useless movements …

_Don't think._

I focused on my feet, the steady _thump_ as they hit the ground over and over again. Gradually, I fell into a rhythm. The sound was comforting, like the throbbing bass of an indie song.

I pushed myself forward, my pace increasing. I looked up at the grey sky surrounding me. The air was cool but heavy - it was going to rain soon. The thought was there and gone in a flash. I took in my surroundings without really processing them.

_Thump_

_Thump_

_Thump_

Was my heartbeat always like this? I wondered. Not only was it louder than usual but I could feel it in a way that I hadn't before, pumping blood all around my body. My feet hit the ground, the hard surface of the track sending vibrations through the cheap rubber soles. I was so much more aware of my feet than I normally was.

I wanted to go faster. _Thump thump thump thump thump_ \- like raindrops hitting a tin ceiling. My thighs, my legs, my limbs, working together and bringing me forward - my body, the power it contained.

A tiny voice in my head told me to stop, to slow down, to catch my breath - but there was something else inside me sending me forward, telling me to keep going. Not my brain, not my heart - some unspoken instinct or impulse.

_I'm alive._

"Amy!"

Sonic's voice startled me out of my trance. I came to a sharp, sudden halt a few feet from where he'd stopped - I'd somehow managed to catch up with him. How fast had I been going? Too fast, clearly. My legs suddenly turned to jelly. They gave beneath me and I crumpled to the ground before Sonic could catch me.

"Amy? Are you okay?"

He had one hand on my back, poised to help me if I needed it. I took a deep breath - my lungs were burning with the ice-cold air. Had I been breathing at all back there? It didn't feel like it.

"I'm fine." I gasped.

"I'm so sorry." he said, stricken-faced. "I didn't expect you to try and keep up with me."

"No - no, it wasn't about that at all." I shook my head. "I just … I guess I needed to run from something. To something. I don't know." I swallowed. "Could I get a drink?"

"Shit yeah, of course. There's a Lucozade Sport in my bag, hold on - " he jogged back to the start of the track to where he'd dumped his bag. He returned a few seconds later and handed me the orange bottle, which I accepted graciously.

"So you found it helpful?" he asked as I downed half of the bottle. "The running?"

"It was _amazing_." I exclaimed.

"Well, if you ever want to use the track again let me know." he grinned. "Coach's favourite and all that, I've got some perks. You're lucky you didn't make friends with Jet."

I giggled. Was this an inside joke? Was that just something we had now?

"Though if you are going to use it I have to insist that you let me train you properly. Nothing full-on, just for your own safety." he added quickly. "I won't be asking you to do a juice cleanse or come into the school gym at 6AM."

"I'd like that." I smiled shyly. "Thanks Sonic."

"No problem Amy." he grinned.

His eyes met mine. For once I didn't look away and instead held his gaze. I'd never noticed the darker flecks in his eyes before …

_I think I might like him. A lot._

The muffled arpeggio of the school-bell sounded from the building - History was over and my bus would be arriving soon.

His eyes slid away from mine; the moment was gone. We got to our feet - me shakily so and set off in the direction of the school. My phone suddenly came alive. We must have been too far out for the Wifi signal.

"Blaze is wondering where we were. Mr Oak was talking about our finals." I told him, reading the message she'd sent me.

"Oh?"

"We have to do a presentation. The week after Homecoming. Everyone got into pairs."

"Are you going to be with Blaze?"

"No. Mr Oak told her she had to be with Sticks - keep her in check." I tried to report this news soberly but I couldn't help but smile as I thought of how Blaze and Sticks would work together.

"You can be my partner if you want." Sonic offered. "We can get together and work sometime. Maybe at my place, if you guys are still settling in."

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "I mean, um - that sounds good. I don't really know anyone else. It makes sense to work together."

"Awesome. Maybe you could come over this weekend, after the party. I dunno. I'll snap you, okay?"

"Okay!"

"I've gotta run. I'll see ya." he offered me one last smile before disappearing into the crowd surrounding the lockers.

"Amy!"

Maria had spotted me from across the hall. She'd met with Shadow and was pulling on his hand, coming over to meet me. He met my eyes and nodded while Maria pulled me into a one-armed hug.

"Do you know how to make quiche?" she demanded.

"Um no?"

"Nicole said we're making it on Friday." Maria wailed. "We're doomed!"

I patted her shoulder sympathetically.

"It's a good thing you didn't date me for my culinary skills." she sighed, addressing Shadow. "Anyway. I was wondering - you don't have to say yes, of course - but if it's awkward for you to get home from Sally's party … would you maybe like to stay over at my house?"

"Of course!" I replied automatically. I clearly hadn't learned a thing from this weekend. Still. At least I'd be prepared now. "Thank you so much!"

"No problem." she smiled. "Hey - what's gotten you in such a good mood?"

"Huh?"

"You're glowing. Did something happen?"

"Oh, um - nothing. Just happy to be heading home."

As much as I liked Maria, I didn't know how to explain what had happened between myself and Sonic. What we'd talked about. How we'd ran around the track. I definitely couldn't tell her happy I was about working with him … or why …

For the last two weeks I'd been trying to tell myself that it was all just hormones. A minor infatuation that had developed because of a need to fill some kind of hole inside me, or because of getting caught up in the excitement of my new life …

Now I wasn't so sure.


	12. Face Your Fears

As we went up the long driveway my phone connected to the Wifi and buzzed with a Snapchat notification - a video from Sonic, sent about fifteen minutes ago. I opened it quickly. It was a short clip of Sonia and Manic looking at themselves in the mirror. Sonia was applying makeup for a night out with friends, Manic was applying sticky shiny hair-gel to his quills. There was a Dua Lipa track playing in the background and Manic was singing along, shaking his hips, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he was being recorded by his little brother.

I stifled my giggle. Blaze let out a snort from the front seat. "Guys, you should check out the video Sonic sent us when you get the chance."

Oh. I turned my screen off. A mass snap, for general consumption rather than my own individual entertainment.

 _Stop reading into things_.

The car came to a halt. Rouge spent a few seconds examining herself in the mirror, applying a fresh layer of scarlet lipstick to her lips. "Is this top too booby?" she wondered aloud, gesturing to the generous amount of cleavage she had on display. "Wait, don't answer that - everything I wear is too booby."

"If you've got it then flaunt it!" Tikal crowed. "Isn't that what you're always saying to us?"

Cream giggled nervously beside me; she and Cosmo had spent the entire car journey over to Sally's jiggling their legs and fidgeting with their clothes. Cosmo was dressed as an alien in a silver wrap dress and a headband with antenna on it. She'd smeared silver glitter over her cheeks as well. Cream was wearing a short-sleeved white blouse and blue skater skirt, red canvas pumps and two blue ribbons on each ear - Dorothy from _The Wizard of Oz_. Cheese was sitting on her lap.

I'd sat beside them in silence, listening to Rouge and Blaze's good-natured bickering in the front seats. My phone lay on my lap, the last text from Maria on the screen - her telling us she would see it at the party, that something had come up and she couldn't go to Rouge's with us. The others had taken it in stride, imagining n emergency dance lesson, an errand for her grandfather, or just spending some extra time with Shadow …

They were probably right. But even though I'd had fun getting ready at Rouge's - the same way I imagined people had fun creeping to the top of a rollercoaster, a sick, anticipating kind of fun - I'd felt the absence of Maria's laughter and electric energy like a hole as we danced around to a Disney Villains playlist, taking a seemingly endless amount of selfies, and eating popcorn. She'd have _killed_ 'Poor Unfortunate Souls'. I even missed her hugs - in the last fortnight I'd been given more hugs than in my entire life combined. I was anxious about being touched, especially when I was taken by surprise, but I found that I was actually beginning to enjoy the feeling.

I couldn't help but think that I'd feel a little more confident if she were by my side. This was the first party I'd been to in years, since Rosy's 12th birthday sleepover with five other girls I didn't know. I'd spent most of the night in the kitchen eating leftover cupcakes while Aunt June read my palms and showed me all of her crystals. She'd given me my own little rose quartz that I kept in my jewellery box. I used to take it out and hold it whenever I was feeling particularly anxious. I didn't really believe in chakras or positive energy or cleansing or anything, but there was something soothing about the action of rubbing it between my fingers.

I wished that I'd taken it with me. I didn't know what I was going to do or how this was going to work - would we all stick together at the party? Would there be loud trap music and red solo cups everywhere, like in a teen movie? What if a neighbour called the police? What if people thought I looked stupid in my outfit?

And … what would I do when I saw Sonic? I was barely able to function like a normal person around him in a school setting, where I knew I was going to see him everyday and could prepare small-talk in advance ( _"Hey Sticks' last rant about how the government are hiding tiny robots in fluoride to get access to our DNA and clone us all was pretty wild, huh?_ ) Both instances where we'd met outside school had been chance encounters.

Knowing that he'd be here tonight, at this party was a whole other thing. Because like, parties were a big deal - it's where everything went down in movies and TV shows. The dark lights, the loud music which meant you had to stand close to hear what the other person was saying, people kissing and dancing and letting loose …

My heart thumped underneath the black t-shirt I'd borrowed from Rouge. It fit, albeit snugly, stretching across my chest. Rouge had taken one look at my baggy black number and practically thrown this at me before she did my make-up. Even though it drew more attention to my boobs than I'd have liked I knew that I'd gotten off lightly. I suspected that it was one of the least-revealing articles of clothing that she owned. Rouge's own neckline practically went down to her navel. She looked _awesome_.

I got a better look at her as we stepped out of her car. She was dressed in fishnets, black suede boots, low-cut black bodycon mini-dress, red devil-tail and horns. Smokey-eye and red lipstick pulled it all together. I eyed her, envying her confidence. How could one girl have that much sex appeal?

"This place is enormous!" Cosmo exclaimed , gaping I tore my eyes away from Rouge and towards Sally''s house, my breath catching in my throat. It was a four-story Georgian house, practically a mini-mansion, standing proudly, flanked by crimson trees that were adorned with little yellow fairy lights on a sprawling lawn. I shivered in the October chill. It was dark - really dark, actually. The lights on the trees just drew attention to the fact.

_So this is what the hotel pays for._

Blaze surveyed it sceptically. "It's very bourgeois." she noted. She was dressed simply in a pair of jeans and a _Mother Of Dragons_ t-shirt tucked in at the waistband. Effortless nerd chic. She'd acted unbothered by the prospect of the party, watching from the sidelines as Rouge did our make-up but I'd spotted her in the bathroom later, touching up her mascara and awkwardly swiping on some lip-balm.

"Oh come on Blaze, we're all champagne socialists." Rouge huffed. "Sally can't help having a rich family anymore than I can. Let's all just go and enjoy ourselves!"

Cream and Cosmo linked arms, bouncing up and down on the balls of their feet. Tikal hovered beside Rouge. Seeing them so nervous had a brief calming effect on me - _I'm not the only one_.

Blaze still looked sceptical.

"Don't be like that." Rouge rolled her eyes.

"I didn't say anything." Blaze pointed out.

"It's time to live dangerously - Halloween's all about facing your fears!"

"If I see anyone dressed as a clown I'm leaving." Tikal announced.

"I'm not _scared_ of parties." Blaze protested. "I just … don't really like them."

"And how many parties have you been to?" Rouge asked innocently. Blaze's tail twitched but she didn't respond.

"Thought so. Let's go girls!" Rouge said as she strode up to the front door. Her heels clicked on the stone path, splattered with fake-blood. Strings of cotton-wool cobweb framed the door, and a large cauldron was propped up against it, brimming with sweets for trick-or-treaters. The image of Abigail, getting ready to go out tonight in her witch costume flashed in my mind. I shook it away, before I started craving to go home.

Not tonight.

It was my first ever teenage party.

We trotted obediently after her. I could hear the throbbing of the bass from the music playing inside the house. As we reached the door - Rouge pressing firmly on the bell - my knees gave beneath me for a split second.

_You can do this._

The door was opened by a tall brown-furred chipmunk with bushy auburn hair and thick eyebrows. His face was painted like a skeleton. He was dressed in a form-fitting black sweater and jeans. His blue eyes raked over us all.

"Happy Halloween." he smiled. "You're here for the party, right?"

"Good to see you, Elias." Rouge purred. "You're looking well."

Blaze rolled her eyes beside me. Cream tittered nervously. Elias took it in his stride, letting out a deep chuckle.

"Always a pleasure, Rouge. Come in, Sally's entertaining her guests so I'm on door duty." he stepped away from the door, leaving a space for us to walk through. "After you."

We squeezed past him in order to step inside into a main room that seemed to stretch for miles, well capable of holding the dozens of people already there with room to spare. Most were wearing some kind of costume, but Sally had left a box of face paints by the door for the uninspired. There was an unlit crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The room was only lit by more strings of fairy lights and a large, looming Jack-O-Lantern that was perched on one of the polished coffee tables. There was minimal other Halloween decor, but what was there was effective - more fake cobwebs on the chandelier and Venetian mirrors, candle-sticks, and glass cork-stopped bottles filled with luminous liquid. There was even a smoke machine, billowing fog at our feet which created an eerie atmosphere. I spotted Nicole, Sally's friend, standing behind a DJ deck and working the music -

_I'm not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts_

_Some superhero, some fairytale bliss_

_Just something I can turn to, somebody I can miss_

_I want something just like this_

_I want something just like this_

A couple of people were already dancing wildly in the middle of the room, but most people were standing around in groups. Some were dancing where they stood, gearing themselves up to get onto the main floor. The music drowned out the sounds of their conversations, the flirtations, their laughter …

There were other scenes too. Two girls teetering about in skyscraper heels, clinging onto each other as they stumbled around, swigging from bottles. A girl dressed as Hermione Granger was straddling a boy on one of the armchairs and licking his face while someone else recorded it. Everyone seemed to be drinking from cans and bottles, drinks I was pretty certain weren't Club Orange. I shrank back slightly. I needed to find somewhere quiet, somewhere isolated, a place where I could go and hide if things became too much again.

 _Breathe, Amy_.

"Sally's at the back." Elias said, signalling towards the end of the room where a large table had been set up. "There's plenty of food if you're hungry, and she's got drink if you want some."

"Awesome." Rouge smirked. "Girls, do you want anything?"

Like, _alcohol?_

Maybe it was naive of me, but it just hadn't occurred to me that I'd be asked to drink myself. All of the health class PSAs came back to me - _Just Say No!_

I opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't get the words to form.

"Um - " Tikal began.

"I won't tell your brother, don't worry." Rouge assured her.

"Ah, you're Knuckles' sister?" Elias asked Tikal.

Tikal nodded. She was dressed in her usual boho attire, with additional John-Lennon sunglasses to really up the hippy vibes.

"He arrived a while ago. He's out in the back garden with a couple of people."

"Hm." Rouge hummed to herself, eyes narrowed. "Is one of those people Julie-Su by any chance?"

"I'm not getting involved." Elias said, rolling his eyes. "I'll talk to you guys later."

He walked towards a clump of Seniors, laughing and drinking cans underneath a coastal portrait. One of them was Manic, I realised with a jolt - his hair-gel was luminescent in the dark. If Manic was here that must mean that Sonic was too.

A wave of nausea washed over me. I should have eaten something more substantial than popcorn. Maria had raised the possibility of ordering a pizza when we went back to her house afterwards, so I hadn't even thought about dinner.

_Maria._

_Where was she?_

"Rouge?" Blaze asked tentatively. "Are you - ?"

"Oh I'm fine!" Rouge exclaimed, blinking her unusually shiny eyes. "How about you guys? - let's get some drinks!"

The six of us made our way to the long dining-room table at the back. People moved out of the way for Rouge, like she was Moses parting the Red Sea, only with a lot more highlighter. The table was covered in a white tablecloth that had been artfully torn and sprinkled with little plastic spiders. An ornate candelabra and a huge fake skull stood at opposite ends, while the rest of the space was taken up by sweets, sausage rolls, cans of soda and cider, bottles of vodka, paper cups, and a large red punch-bowl. Sally stood behind the table, smiling prettily as she served people. She looked stunning - there was simply no other word for it .She was wearing a medieval-sleeved blue gown, a shade that matched her eyes exactly, with golden embellishment. Her glossy chestnut hair was clasped back into an elegant bun though a flew loose tendrils framed her face. I couldn't tell if she was wearing any makeup apart from some gold shimmer around her eyes and shell-pink lipstick. There was a small woven band around her head, from which hung a long sheet of sheer sparkly fabric.

 _She's a princess_ I realised. It suited her.

My clothes seemed to tighten around me. Blue jeans. Black t-shirt. Open oversized red-checked flannel. I knew that my make-up was good, as Rouge had applied it - I was dressed as a scarecrow, so she'd drawn stitches around my mouth, applied orange blusher to my cheeks, and painted my lips pink. Cosmo had even found some straw which I'd stuck into the pockets of my jeans so that it stuck out.

"Hey! I'm glad you guys could make it - you all look wonderful." Sally exclaimed as she noticed us.

"So do you!" Cream said politely. "Thank you for inviting us. It's such a cool party."

"No problem! Please - help yourself to anything."

I self consciously picked up a chocolate cupcake. Cosmo and Blaze followed suit. We all purposefully avoided looking at the row of vodka bottles and cans of cider. Rouge, it seemed, had other ideas and was mixing vodka and Diet Coke like it was nobody's business.

"If you girls are going to drink while you're underage, I'd rather you did it while you're here where I can keep an eye on you." she told us pointedly, before chugging down half of her mixer.

"Yeah, if you keep going at that rate we'll be the ones keeping an eye on you." Blaze said dryly. "Besides, you're underage too."

"A technicality. I'll be eighteen in three months."Rouge said cooly, already pouring a second drink.

"Are your parents okay with this …?" Cream asked Sally, eyeing the rows of cans with an apprehensive curiosity.

"Oh they're away on business. They've left Elias in charge. What they don't know won't hurt them." she smiled wickedly, momentarily shattering her fairytale-princess illusion. Huh. It seemed that the golden girl had a dark side.

Blaze looked dubious but she picked up a can of Orchard Thieves. After a brief second pause, and a quick glance at Rouge, Tikal followed suit. Cosmo and Cream followed her leave.

"Amy?"

Sally was looking at me, brandishing a skull-shaped novelty bottle opener.

"I - "

Did I want a drink? I mean, I knew it was technically illegal but that wasn't stopping anyone else. I wasn't one to make a habit out of breaking the law, but not out of any particular conviction.

Everyone else had a drink - even Sally did, pretty perfect Sally Acorn.

How would it look if I turned it down? If I was the only one not drinking?

"Oh, um, okay." I stammered, gesturing to a Smirnoff Ice. Sally opened it for me and passed it with a smile. I took a self-conscious sip while the others sampled their own drinks. It tasted tart, like a really sour lemonade. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not, but I took another sip anyway. The aftertaste reminded me a little of nail polish.

Was this what all the fuss was about?

Cosmo, Tikal, and Cream seemed equally uncertain about their own drinks, though Blaze seemed to be enjoying hers.

"This is pretty good!" she admitted, sounding mildly surprised.

"I can make you something else if you want." Sally said. "A mixer, a spritzer - "

"Perhaps when I've finished this." Blaze replied, half-smiling.

I took a third sip of my drink. It was so weird, like all of those PSAs about peer pressure and underage drinking went right out the window. The reality was just so different - it wasn't a gang of hooligans in hoodies telling you that they wouldn't think you were cool unless you drank from the can they were hiding in a brown-paper bag. It was subtler than that. It was the fear of missing out.

Rouge, under the influence of two vodka mixers downed in quick succession, bounced into the centre of the dance floor and started dancing, swaying her hips from side to side in a way that seemed to catch the attention of every guy in close proximity. She only had eyes for Blaze though, wiggling her hips and pretending to pull her over. I expected Blaze to roll her eyes but she let out a giggle instead and followed her onto the floor.

"I need to go to the bathroom." Cream announced. She, Cosmo, and Tikal set their drinks down on the table. I dithered helplessly - should I go with them or not? Cream looked at me expectantly but I waved her away, deciding to hang back. I liked the freshman trio, but I figured they'd want some time to themselves.

Still, I felt a twinge of regret as I watched them walk off together, Cheese hovering over their heads. I took a large mouthful of my Smirnoff.

"Have you seen Maria?" I asked Sally tentatively.

"I think I saw her earlier." she said thoughtfully. "I saw Shadow go outside a few minutes ago, and I know that they arrived together."

"Oh, okay."

She was around here somewhere anyway.

Sally cleared her throat and spoke again in a strange voice. "I don't suppose you know where Sonic is, do you?"

"What? - No!" I squeaked - what was she getting at? Did she know that I was interested in him? _Play it cool._ "I um, no I mean - I wouldn't know, we aren't close or anything. I haven't been speaking to him."

(Not technically a lie. I hadn't spoken to him on a one-to-one basis since

"Oh."

Was that disappointment I saw?

"You've a lovely home!" I added quickly, gesturing wildly with my drink, eager to change the subject. "Great job on the party too - like really, thanks for inviting me."

"My pleasure." she sighed. "Do you want anything else to drink? I'm gonna circulate."

I shook my head and she left the table, darting into the thick throng of people now crowding the room. More guests had arrived and taking to the floor, dancing to Nicole's admittedly amazing mix - Top 40 tunes mixed with old-school pop-punk anthems, with the occasional Halloween classic like _Ghostbusters_ or _Thriller_ thrown in for good measure. I saw Rouge chatting to a group of Senior boys, Blaze standing a little bit behind her. Jet Swift was sitting on one of the coffee tables, a purple swallow perched on his lap and whispering something into his ear. I saw Mina Gabrie posing for selfie with some of her friends.

I watched it all unfurl around me, like it was something on a screen. Like they were all characters in a TV show that I just happened to be watching. It wasn't a bad feeling - it was one I was well used to, being a spectator of things.

Part of me, a really very large part of me, wanted so badly to be more than that.

But there was something inside me holding me back.

I finished my drink and walked away from the table, awkwardly squeezing past a couple wearing technicolour wigs and practically eating each other's faces off. I spotted Cosmo, Cream and Tikal. They'd found Tails and the four of them were standing together in a clump. Tikal and Cosmo were both swaying to the music, looking semi-miserable. Tails was beside them, sipping a Corona Light with an air of rehearsed nonchalance. Cream was hugging Cheese to her chest.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked, raising my voice over the sound of the music. My eyes flickered towards a group of older guys drinking lager in the corner and down to the hem of Cream's skirt. I stepped closer towards her, protectively, my skin prickling.

Big-sister instincts.

"We're fine!" Tikal said.

"There just aren't a lot of people from our grade here." Tails explained. "So we've decided to stick together."

"Are you having a good time?" I asked him doubtfully. They didn't seem to be, hanging around on the outskirts of things - the way I had been, I realised. Only this was different somehow. Though there wasn't a large age difference between me and them, I felt like they were a lot younger and more vulnerable somehow. This was their first year of highschool and they had probably come in with all of these expectations how how things would be. Pep rallies, Homecoming dances, and parties just like this one. I'd imagined those things too.

It was time to make some memories.

"Come dance with me!" I exclaimed. "You guys clearly want to," I added, noticing the longing looks Cosmo and Tikal were directing at the dance floor. "Nicole's put together a frankly amazing playlist, we owe it to her to get down!"

"But what if we look lame?" Cream whined.

"Everyone here is so much cooler than us. We're just freshmen. We've only been invited because we hang out with Sally's friends." Cosmo sighed.

"So was I! But that's not going to stop me." I said determinedly.

The four of them exchanged apprehensive looks. Cream still looked fearful.

"There's also no way that you're a worse dancer than I am, Cream." I told her, a last-ditch attempt. "If anything you'll just look a million times better next to me."

Cream giggled, and that seemed to be enough for them. The five of us stepped out onto the floor just as _Monster Mash_ began to play. There were a few excited squeals from around the room. I immediately launched into my cheesiest dance moves, shimmying and shaking, throwing in some 60s steps I'd seen in _Hairspray_ and _Grease_. Tails (possibly with the aid of his beer) soon followed suit, doing his best impression of the mad scientist in the song while the girls acted as his backup performers. We bounced up and down - Cream tried to show us how to do the mashed potato and soon had a crowd around her, trying to imitate her steps and cheering her on. She was flushed pink with pleasure.

"Guys!"

My heart soared - there, dressed like a Mad Hatter, was Maria! She pushed through some of the crowd to reach us, greeting us with a series of quick hugs. Her eyes were shining - a little too brightly, I thought, but my flicker of concern was soon washed away by delight as she joined Cream in demonstrating their best vintage dance moves. I tried to imitate them, failing spectacularly, but I didn't feel embarrassed because everyone else was doing the exact same thing. They were either too tipsy to care about how they looked, or too busy laughing at themselves.

I was laughing too and when Maria stumbled into my arms after the song was over, I found myself hugging her tightly.

Six months ago I was spending my Saturday nights eating chips at home and reading fanfiction on my laptop in bed until I fell asleep. Anything like this seemed a million miles away.

Another song started and we continued to dance. Another number. Another. Another again. The others seemed a lot more confident now - Cream was teaching a bumblebee how to handjive to a tune from _Grease._ Two older girls had complimented Tikal on her outfit and they were dancing together. Tails was dancing with Cosmo, whose face was pink with pleasure. Maria and I held onto each other's hands, spinning around and laughing.

 _I'm having so much fun_.

We made our way to the table at the back. Maria poured herself a drink, mixing vodka and Diet Coke. She poured me one as well and it was halfway down my throat before I realised that it had alcohol. Two drinks in quick succession - I wouldn't have anymore, not for a while anyway.

Maria gulped hers down quickly and let out a sigh.

"Hey Maria, are you okay?" I asked tentatively.

"I'm fine!" she said, putting on a smile. "Just a little tired, I guess."

"Are you sure …?" My voice trailed off into music. Maria didn't respond. She toyed with her now-empty cup, staring into the distance with a blank expression. I waited for her to say something - anything - but she stood in silence. I bit my lip, unsure of what to do.

"I could go and get Shadow if you want - " I began, before she shook her head furiously. I was definitely concerned now, if I hadn't been before.

"Is something - ?"

"Rouge, wait - "

"Forget it, Knuckles."

'Rouge - "

"Oh no." Maria groaned. "Not this again."

"Go fuck yourself!" Rouge cried, stomping into view. Knuckles close behind. "Or go find Julie Su. Whatever."

Knuckles' violet eyes flashed. "Don't talk about Julie-Su like that." he shouted, trying to be heard over the music. "She's done nothing - "

"Yeah, whatever!" Rouge interrupted. She stepped to firmly and her ankle gave, bending to the side. She let out a yelp and kicked the offending heel off. It skidded across the hardwood floor before knocking into the leg of the table. "Only about fifty people saw the two of you dry humping outside, but yeah neither of you have done _anything_."

"Look, you're the one who said we shouldn't define things." Knuckles yelled. "Don't act like this is some kind of betrayal. You need to calm - "

"I am calm! Fuck! My ankle!" Rouge cried, sounding close to tears. She took her other shoe off and hobbled away. Knuckles moved as though to try and support her but she flipped him off and stumbled off alone, opening a door and disappearing down a hallway. Knuckles stood there for a second, looking crestfallen. He picked her loose shoe off the floor and left down through the same hallway, returning a few seconds later without it.

I glanced over at Maira.

"Should we go after her?" I asked.

"I don't know." Maria said, her lip twisted to the side. "She likes to deal with things alone."

_She's not the only one._

"I don't think she'd like us to know she's feeling so vulnerable. She never talks about Knuckles to us, not in any serious capacity. She definitely wouldn't want Tikal to know."

"Why?" I asked. "I mean, I get privacy - but you guys are all friends, right? You're all close?"

"We are." Maria confirmed. "Some things just require a little more nuance. I mean, I don't blame her." she added. "It's hard, dating within the group. It's an utter cliche, but the relationship kind of goes beyond two of you, it extends to everyone, it effects them."

"Oh." I gulped. My thoughts landed automatically on Sonic and I blocked that train of thought from developing any further. _It's not the time. It's not about you._ "You and Shadow seem to have handled it well …" I said carefully.

Maria didn't reply. I assumed that she hadn't heard me over the sound of _Stacy's Mom_. I saw Cream and Tikal holding hands and jumping up and down as they belted out the lyrics. Tails and Cosmo were off to the side, but they didn't look like they were missing out on anything - their heads were close and they were talking animatedly to each other.

And there, half-hidden behind the crowd, still recognisable in a ripped up t-shirt and heavily kohl-rimmed eyes - _Sonic_. My stomach lurched when I saw that he was with Mina, listening to her as she spoke. I was too far away to make out their expressions.

"You're right." Maria said finally, in a strange little voice. "I should - I don't know where he is."

I tore my eyes away from Sonic and Mina and their conversation. I looked around frantically for Shadow, physically relaxing when I saw a familiar figure making his way over towards us.

"Hey guys!" Silver said. He was dressed in jeans a white t-shirt with 'Knows Nothing' scribbled on it in Sharpie.

"Let me guess - Jon Snow?" I replied, raising one eyebrow.

"Alas, my true identity has been revealed!"

"Have you seen Shadow?" Maria demanded. She flushed furiously after hearing the edge in her voice. "I'm sorry, that was so rude - "

"Love does strange things to us all." he said wisely. "I saw him talking to Ash earlier - near the door - this place is huge, I can't find anyone."

"I'll go look for him - thanks, Silver. And you, Amy." she added. She squeezed my arm gently and went back into the crowd, stumbling slightly. How much had she drunk? Would she be alright by herself? My stomach lurched again - what if someone tried to take advantage of her? Wasn't there a rule somewhere - don't let your friends go off alone when they've been drinking? My head felt fuzzy from thinking about it; two drinks and I was already light-headed.

"Are you having a good time?" Silver asked.

"It's been eventful." I replied. "I'm worried about Maria - and Rouge."

"Oh yeah. I saw that blow-up. But don't worry, I managed to find Bunnie Rabbot - they're both Juniors and they're pretty close - to go after her." he shrugged.

"You're a really good friend, Silver." I noted.

"Yeah, thanks." he didn't look too pleased with my observation. I tried to look over his shoulder. I saw Mina but Sonic was nowhere in sight. I felt guilty over how relieved I was to see that they weren't together anymore.

"Anyway," Silver said abruptly, straightening up slightly. "I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Oh-okay." I said. My heartbeat quickened. The way that he was holding himself, the fact that his fists were clenched slightly by his sides told me that this wasn't going to be a casual question about _Game Of Thrones_.

"So … I think you're pretty cool," he began. "And I mean, I know we don't know each other well - but we've been sitting together in Algebra, and like, yeah, you know, we talk about _Game Of Thrones_ and everything …"

"Yeah …?"

_Where was he going with this?_

"Well, Homecoming's next week." he said. "It's not really a big deal here, you just pay at the door … We'll probably go as a group anyway, but I was just wondering if, maybe you wanted to get food afterwards or something?" he paused for a second. "With me. Like, the two of us. Alone. Nobody else." he added unnecessarily.

"I got it." I said. I could practically feel my heartbeat in my throat - was he _asking me out?_ I didn't want to believe it - why would anyone ask me out? - but the way he was fidgeting, the shifty look in his eyes, coupled with what I knew about Silver told me that this wasn't a practical joke or some mean stunt, this wasn't me misunderstanding the situation, this wasn't the projection of a lonely teenage girl …

He was actually asking me out.

"So um, what do you think?" he asked. He took a long sip of his Corona, kindly giving me time to gather my thoughts.

This had never happened before. This should have been one of the most exciting moments of my life. Silver was sweet, he was kind, he made me laugh, he was - I realised suddenly - pretty attractive. He was _asking me out_.

But I knew why. It had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the bespectacled. serious lavender cat who was somewhere in this room.

Part of me wanted to run away and lock myself in the bathroom because I just couldn't cope with the attention. Part of me felt sorry for him and wanted to say yes purely to spare him the embarrassment. But a bigger, stronger part of me, possibly spurred on by two vodka-based drinks, knew what I had to do instead.

"I'm … a little surprised that you're asking me." I said slowly. "A little curious as to why you're not asking Blaze."

"Blaze?" he choked, beer dribbling from his mouth. "I uh - what do you mean? Why would I ask Blaze out? We're just friends!"

_The lady doth protest too much, methinks._

"That must be why you're blushing." I said nonchalantly. The red flush that stained his face deepened and he looked away from me. I wondered for a second if I'd gone too far.

_Nobody else is going to say it._

"It's been pretty obvious. And I really can't blame you - she's great."

"She's the most amazing person that I've ever met." he admitted. He let out a long sigh. "I know I'm not the best at hiding how I feel, you know? Like, I figured it was kind of obvious, but she never _said_ anything so - "

"She doesn't know." I told him.

"No?"

"She's … pretty oblivious to the fact."

"That's a relief." he sighed again, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "I'm sorry. I realise how me asking you out must have sounded - "

"No, it's -"

"No but like, you're really cool. I just don't want you to think that I was trying to take advantage of you or anything, or mess with your feelings …"

I could see from the anxious expression on his face that he was genuinely concerned with whether or not he'd hurt me. Like I mattered to him, in some platonic capacity.

"Don't worry about it. But … for what it's worth, I think you should tell her."

"No. No way." he shook his head, sounding firmer than I'd ever heard him sound before. Two drinks ago I'd have shrank back and apologised for suggesting it, but the alcohol had lowered my inhibitions, loosened my tongue.

"Do you guys have a rule-book or something? You all seem to have so many reservations about dating people you're friends with."

"It's not - like, it's not like anyone's against it. Shadow and Maria are so good together. We're all hoping that things work out between Knuckles and Rouge. It's just … Blaze is my best friend. I don't want to scare her off, and I think that this is something that would really really weird her out, more than it would most people." he raked his hand through his quills. "She's never dated anyone before, never expressed any interest … I just, I don't know. It took her long enough to open up to us, to me. I don't wanna jeopardize that. I don't want her to think I was like, being predatory - that I befriended her with the objective of getting with her."

"No?"

"No way. She moved here when she was eleven. She was shy and smart, schoolwork didn't come naturally to me - I'm dyslexic. Anyway, we were in the same grade and our teacher ended up putting her in the seat next to mine, hoping her good work would rub off on me. We became friends. I only started thinking we could be something more about a year ago."

He seemed to realise the extent of his outburst and his cheeks reddened again. We'd been talking for so long that three songs had played. The crowd on the dance floor was thinning, just a couple of dozen people tipsily swaying back and forth to a slow indie track - Tails and Cosmo included. A few people had coupled up, making out against the wall. There seemed to be a limitless supply of alcohol - I could see vodka being knocked back as though it were Perrier Water. I hoped nobody would puke on the stripped wooden floorboards or break one of Sally's family's Chinese porcelain bowls.

"I've never said all of this to anyone." Silver muttered.

"Well, as happy as I am that you're able to say all of this to someone, I feel like I'm not the person that you should be saying it too …" I said gently, raising one eyebrow. I looked, rather pointedly, over at Blaze. She was standing against the wall with a couple of guys and a girl that I didn't recognise, laughing at something one of them had said.

"I don't know …" he said doubtfully.

"Trust me. Call it my girlish intuition." I teased.

He shook his head, laughing in spite of himself. "You're a good friend, you know that right? I'm really glad we met you."

I had to fight the suddenly overwhelming urge that I had to hug him. I'd had two drinks, I was a little tipsy not completely crazy. Still, I couldn't hide my smile - my face felt like it was going to split in two.

"Go on. Save the compliments for Blaze."

He blushed again but he looked more determined going over to talk to her, awkwardly side-stepping past the remaining dancers.

I took a deep breath as I watched him walk away. The afterglow of the conversation was beginning to wear off slightly. The buzz of the alcohol was fading too. I felt like I was going flat like a glass of Coke that's been left out too long.

I decided that I needed some fresh air. There was a conservatory off to the side of the room, with glass doors that spilled out onto the dark grass lawn. I walked through the doors and onto the patio, goosebumps erupting all over my body as it hit the cold night air. I could still hear the steady throb of the music from inside the house. A couple of older students were standing around, laughing over cigarettes. Manic noticed me first and raised his can of Heineken in my direction. Knuckles was there too, staring sullenly at the ground, lost in thought.

I hovered for a second, wondering if I should join them or not, eventually deciding against it. I was able to talk to my peers, and the Freshmen kids, but the older students were something else. I felt like a child next to them. Instead I took in my surroundings - the outlines of the neat shrubs, the trickling fountain, the flickering candle in a glass jar on top of a picnic table, faintly illuminating the faces of an auburn-haired chipmunk and a brown squirrel, whispering softly to each other …

"Boo!"

I let out a squeal of terror and spun around to face -

"Sonic!"

He laughed at my expression. The sound of laughter rang from Manic and Knuckles' group. I felt my cheeks flush, a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and just … seeing Sonic. It was simultaneously a relief and a source of anxiety.

I found myself wishing for another drink.

I'd rehearsed in my head what I'd do when I saw him, how I'd behave, what I'd say. Casual remarks to make, witty observations … All of that went out the window now that he was here in front of me, grinning in his homemade zombie costume - torn clothes, fake blood, heavily outlined eyes.

He was so cute. I didn't know what to _do_.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist." his brow furrowed slightly as a look of concern came over his face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" I squeaked. Had he noticed me staring? I looked down at his shoes instead. I'd soon have their image imprinted into my brain.

"Are you sure? I'm sorry if I went too far there - "

"Oh no, you're fine - it's Halloween, right? All in the spirit of the holiday." I said, brushing a loose strand of hair back from my face. How did I look to him? In my lame costume and weird makeup? "Are you having a good time?"

"It's been pretty good." he said lightly. "I've just been out here talking to Manic and Knuckles for the most part."

No mention of Mina. I didn't want him to know I'd been watching him talk to her earlier so I said nothing.

"What about you? Enjoying yourself?"

"Silver asked me to go on a date with him." I blurted out. I immediately wanted to kick myself - why the fuck did I say that? What purpose did it serve?

_You know why._

I looked at him, trying to make out his reaction in the faint light. The darkness made it impossible to decipher?

"He did?" he exclaimed.

"Yeah. Just there." I added lamely.

"Oh."

How could one syllable mean so much? Was that _Oh, I'm totally thrown by what you've just said and don't know how to respond_? Was it _Oh, I don't really care and don't have anything constructive to add but want to sound polite before changing the subject?_ Was it an _Oh, I'm honestly pretty annoyed with you because of the whole thing between Silver and Blaze_? Or was it _Oh … I'm actually a little …_

_Jealous?_

Is that what I was hoping for? I didn't know - and I wasn't picking up on anything from his tone.

"Anyway, I um … I said no. And got him to talk to Blaze."

"Really?" this time the surprise and shock was evident.

"Uh-huh."

"That's … wow, that's pretty amazing." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I'm really happy for him. I just hope it works out."

"Don't be so pessimistic!" I cried. _Bit rich coming from you, Amelia._

"I'm just messing. Kinda."

"Oh come on - fated lovers and all that." I said softly. "I think they'd be sweet together."

"Eh, you're right. I've just spent the last twenty minutes trying to cheer Knuckles up." he shrugged.

"Oh yeah." I grimaced slightly, remembering Rouge's blow-up earlier. "How is he …?"

"I mean, he succeeded in making Rouge jealous anyway." he sighed. "If that's what he was indeed trying to do."

"I saw it happen." I said. I almost mentioned Maria's strange behaviour but something in his tone held me back.

"Are … you okay?" I asked hesitantly. Through my tone I tried to convey everything that had passed between us, everything we'd talked about, all that we shared …

"Yeah I'm fine." he replied. "Just … worried about everyone."

 _He's so good._ I thought. I could feel a rush of hot blood in my heart, warming it - _He cares so much about everyone …_

"How about you?" he asked - there was a subtle shift in his tone; I knew that he was trying to change the subject, closing himself off to further exploration of whatever it was he was feeling. "Apart from the Silver thing. Are you having a good time? I got the sense that you were kind of … nervous."

"Yeah um - I don't think I'm really much of a party person." I laughed nervously.

"Ah come on Amy. I saw you doing the Monster Mash earlier."

"You _saw_ that?" I groaned - of all the moments to catch me in.

"The entire thing." he teased.

"Wow, okay, I'm going to go and hide in a hole now …" I muttered, making to walk away from him.

"Hey no - come on." he said, putting his hand on my shoulder and turning me gently around to face him. My chest fluttered - we were so much closer now. I could make out the outline of the features of his face - I knew his face well enough to fill in the blanks, the curve of his smile, the teasing look in his lime-green eyes …

"It was cute. You looked like you were having fun."

"Oh?" _Does he mean that the dancing was cute or … that_ I _was cute?_

"Okay, I was." I confessed. "I just decided to get some air."

"Have you had enough?"

"Huh?"

"Do you wanna go back inside?" he asked. "It's still pretty early - it's only just gone eleven."

_That's early?_

"Um - " I paused for a fraction of a second. "Sure. Yeah, sounds good!"

"Awesome!" he grinned. The two of us walked back through the doors of the conservatory. There were a couple of Juniors in there, laughing and sharing a splint. I watched them from the corner of my eye. Drug deals went down on the street outside our old apartment all the time, but it was still strange to be around people who were doing it.

Things had picked up inside and the floor was once again crowded with people jumping up and down to an Ariana Grande track. Cosmo and Tails were dancing together, shaking their heads about wildly. Tikal seemed to be having a heated debate with some Model UN kids, incensed by the drink she was gulping down between arguments. I spotted Rouge sitting on one of the armchairs, nursing her bruised ankle. Cream and another golden-furred rabbit were standing beside her. They were all chatting - Rouge seemed like she was in a much better mood. A black-and-white cat who was either drunk, stoned, or extremely uncoordinated was giggling into Sally's ear. They glanced over at the pair of us. I shrank back, mildly embarrassed before common sense prevailed. Sally wouldn't make fun of me, right?

"Do you want something to drink?" Sonic asked, gesturing to the table where a couple of giggling freshmen were not-so-discreetly emptying a bottle of vodka into the dregs of the punch-bowl.

"Um - "

"Do you drink?" he asked curiously.

"I had two drinks tonight. I hadn't ever before." I confessed. "What about you?"

"I don't do it much, track and everything, gotta look after myself. Still, I can take a night off."

We went over to the table and he picked up a Coors. He opened it up, took a swig and then offered me the can.

"You can try it if you want."

I accepted it automatically. I felt a faint twinge of guilt for all of the collective hours my teachers throughout the years had spent warning me about the dangers of underage drinking. But that vanished when I put the can to my lips, where Sonic's own mouth had been only seconds before …

The beer was warm and tasted stale and sweet, with the same nail-polish aftertaste as the vodka. My distaste must have been evident because Sonic laughed and took the can away from me.

"Not a fan?" he asked innocently.

"Not even remotely." I shuddered. My brain already felt a little fuzzy - surely a placebo effect, one sip of a low-content beer couldn't impact me that quickly, could it?

Sonic made quick work of downing the rest of the can. He set it down on the table just as _Thank U, Next_ drew to a conclusion. The next track began - an upbeat, unfamiliar melody, though I quickly recognised the soulful, plaintive tones of Ed Sheeran.

Sonic stepped out towards the centre of the room, turning to look at me and cocking his right eyebrow questioningly. I hesitated for a split second before following him out into the crowd.

_Don't think I fit in at this party_

_Everyone's got so much to say, yeah_

_I always feel like I'm nobody, mmm_

_Who wants to fit in anyway?_

We swayed from side to side, not a million miles away from each other but at a safe distance. My body was too stiff for anything else - I wasn't sure how I should move, what I should do, where I should direct my gaze. Anytime we made eye contact I'd flicker my gaze away, feeling a blush spread across my cheeks. I wasn't much of a dancer, wasn't extremely interested in music, but I tried to let it move through me, inspire me - I focused on the steady rhythm, the breezy chorus, the voices that blended together. It went to my hips and caused them to roll around to the melody. I rolled my head around in a slow circle, to the back of my neck,,urging the music to flow through my body.

It kind of worked. I glanced up at Sonic from underneath my eyelashes. He was looking at me too, a smile on his face. For once I didn't look away. I smiled right back. Even though we were surrounded by dozens of other sweaty bodies, the whole thing felt strangely … intimate.

_I'm crippled with anxiety_

_But I'm told it's where I'm s'posed to be_

_You know what? It's kinda crazy 'cause I really don't mind_

_And you make it better like that_

This was possibly partly to do with the fact that the people dancing around us pushed us closer and closer together.

_Don't think we fit in at this party_

_Everyone's got so much to say, oh yeah, yeah_

_When we walked in, I said I'm sorry, mmm_

_But now I think that we should stay_

He had really nice eyes.

_Cause I don't care when I'm with my baby, yeah_

_All the bad things disappear_

_Yeah, you're making me feel like maybe I am somebody_

_I can deal with the bad nights when I'm with my baby, yeah_

Without warning he took my hand and spun me around. I stumbled slightly, shocked by the jolt of electricity that seemed to shoot through my arm. But instead of blushing I erupted into giggles. The two of us laughed and resumed dancing, even closer than before.

It wasn't enough for me. I was like an addict, wanting a stronger and stronger fix every time. I wanted to get even closer - the knowledge that if I just reached out slightly I'd be touching him, his t-shirt … that I'd be able to breathe him in, sent a strange kind of thrill down my spine, like a rush of adrenaline before breaking some kind of rule.

But that wasn't me.

So I willed for him to take some initiative, give some kind of signal - place his hands on my waist, close the gap between us …

_I can deal with the bad nights_

_When I'm with my baby, yeah_

The song came to a sudden close. The crowd broke apart slightly, but we stood where we were, not touching but close enough to do so, looking at each other with wide eyes.

_Halloween's all about facing your fears._

There was a slight pause between tracks. Sonic cleared his throat, breaking the silence between us, "So - "

"Hey, Sonic!" Sally had materialised beside us. "I've been looking all over for you!"

"Hey Sal," he said, stepping suddenly away from me. "Yeah it's hard to keep tabs on anyone."

"Tell me about it! It's so warm and crowded - "

True as this statement was you couldn't see it from looking at her. Not a hair was out of place on her head, her dress was still pristine, and her makeup unblemished. I could only imagine how bedraggled I must have looked next to her, and that was without accounting for my hodgepodge of a costume.

"Having a good time, Amy?" she asked me, still smiling - was it just me or was it a slightly strained one? And were her blue eyes a little … anxious?

"Yeah!" I said. "It's been a lot of fun so far!"

"I'm glad to hear it." she said, though she wasn't looking at me. "Sonic, can I borrow you for a few minutes? I was thinking of organising something for the team after the meet, maybe coming over here before the Homecoming dance or something?"

"Sounds awesome!" he exclaimed. "Are you sure you want to do that though? After entertaining here?"

"It's no trouble at all," she shrugged. "Maybe we could discuss it somewhere else though?"

"Yeah of course - I'll see ya later, Amy."

"Oh yeah - later Sonic." I replied.

Our eyes met again for a heartbeat. Something flickered in his gaze, something unspoken, but it was gone before I could decipher it. They disappeared off together and I was left alone in the middle of the dance floor.

I stood immobile for a few seconds, trying to process the mixture of emotions that were rushing through me. Another song started, people danced around me and I eventually moved out of fear of looking awkward. I didn't know what to do with myself - I didn't want to dance, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I set off through a door, down a corridor, away from the music and the heat of the bodies and from Sonic.

_Sonic._

My heartbeat quickened.

_Don't do this to yourself. What's it going to achieve?_

I pushed on down. Unlike the main room, half-hidden in darkness, the hallways were brightly lit and lined with portraits of stiff-faced chipmunks and country landscapes. They weren't empty - I saw girls standing cross-legged outside what I assumed was the bathroom. There was a door at the end of the hallway that was a slightly ajar. Thinking it was safe, I opened it widely -

Elias Acorn was lying on the bed, naked except for his boxer shorts. There was a girl straddling him, a brown squirrel, dressed in fishnets, black boots, a skirt and a red lace bra. When they heard the door open they sprang apart from each other, their faces reddening when they saw me standing there.

"I'm sorry!' I squeaked. I turned and left the room, slamming the door shut behind me before they could say a word.

 _That was absolutely mortifying_.

I thought back to what I'd seen in the garden, the couple at the table … I knew that the boy had looked familiar. I didn't recognise the girl but then I hadn't gotten a good look at her face - I was too distracted by her, well, everything else.

I didn't want to risk running into any other couples in similar compromising situations. I could hear some rather suspect sounds coming from behind one of the other doors. With nowhere else to go, I went back to the main room. More and more people were squashed up together on the sofas. It looked like a game of spin the bottle was taking place in the conservatory. I could see that Sally and Sonic were still talking to each other, laughing easily at what the other had to say. I forced myself to look away. I made my way over to the armchair where Rouge was still sitting, accompanied by Cream, Cosmo, and Tails. They'd all pulled chairs over and were sitting together, looking slightly exhausted but overall content. Cream was scratching Cheese's head. Cosmo's head was resting on Tails' shoulder.

"Hey guys." I said. I kept my tone as light as possible, looking at Rouge from the corner of my eye. She seemed a lot more relaxed than she was earlier, a can of Diet Coke in her hand.

"Hi Amy. Having fun?" she asked, her tone equally as light as mine - and like mine, there was something calculated about the lightness. Her eyes were narrowed slightly, as though she were trying to see through me, into my brain.

Had she seen me with Sonic?

"Yeah!" I said before quickly changing the subject, "How's your ankle?"

"Painful. Which is completely annoying - I wanna get up and dance!" she whined. She didn't make any illusion to how she'd hurt her ankle and I didn't ask her about it. I knew what it was like to want to keep things to yourself. "I won't be able to take any of you guys home. I'll organise taxis, don't worry. Cream? Will your mother be alright with that?"

"Of course. She won't know anyway, she's staying over with Vector tonight." Cream said. Her matter-of-fact tone didn't hint that anything was amiss, but I noticed that her grip on Cheese tightened slightly.

"Amy?"

"Oh I'm uh, I'm staying at Maria's so - "

"Where _is_ Maria?" Tails asked. "I saw Shadow earlier but she wasn't with him - "

"Here I am!" Maria exclaimed. She beamed at all of us, smiling so widely that I was certain her face would split in half. She put her arm around my shoulder, pressing her lips to my cheek in a quick, friendly kiss. "Sorry, I was waiting for the bathroom. What did I miss?"

_I didn't see her waiting outside the bathroom.  
_

"Well - "

Cosmo was interrupted by a familiar voice, sharper than I'd ever heard it sound before.

"Silver, I'm _fine_."

"Blaze - "

"I'm fine!" Blaze hissed. They emerged from the crowd, stopping a few feet from us. Silver's eyes were wide with concern. Blaze took a deep breath before speaking to us in an approximation of her usual, measured tone. "It's getting quite late, isn't it? Perhaps we should think about going home - ?"

"Blaze -"

"Rouge, I was wondering if I could borrow your phone to call a taxi? Mine's about to die."

"Blaze - "

"Silver, I'm fine!" she cried, her voice slipping so that it sounded strangely shrill.

His expression was thunderous. "You're clearly not - "

"I keep telling you that I am."

"Woah, what happened?" Tails asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Like I said, nothing - "

"If you don't tell them I will." Silver said shortly, interrupting her. It was so unlike him and I could see the look of surprise on everyone else's faces - even Rouge looked taken aback.

Blaze struggled for a second, blinking hard. With a jolt I realised that tears were brimming in her eyes.

"I'm being ridiculous." she muttered. "I apologise, it must be the alcohol - I'm fine really. I was just talking to them, I didn't suspect that anything was amiss - but of course, it was nothing really - "

"Those assholes you guys were talking to," Silver interjected, nodding at Rouge. "One of them, he - he - "

"He touched me. Inappropriately." Blaze finished.

I sucked in a breath. Rouge looked murderous.

"Who was it?"

"It was - "

"Because I will castrate him with my bare hands." she said seriously, straining to stand up out of her chair.

"Oh no you don't!" Cream scolded. "Not with that ankle of yours!" she turned her big brown eyes over to Blaze. "I'm so sorry that that happened to you."

"Thank you Cream." she said stiffly. "I'd really like to go home now, though."

Cosmo yawned. I pulled my phone out of my pocket - it was almost 1.00 AM. "Oh gosh, it's late …" I frowned. I didn't know how I was supposed to be getting back to Maria's, and she was nowhere to be seen.

"We should all go." Rouge said. "Nothing good happens this late."

"Speak of the devil …" Tails said, looking over at the conservatory doors. Knuckles was walking over towards us, Tikal's arm draped over his shoulder as he did his best to support her.

"I don't feel so good." she groaned.

"Tikal!" Cream exclaimed.

"Are you okay?" Cosmo cried, her blue eyes wide and anxious.

"I think she's had a bit too much to drink." Knuckles said gruffly. His violet eyes were hard and he had an oh-too familiar look on his face; the same one that I had when Abigail ate too many marshmallows before dinner or wouldn't stop jumping up and down on the sofa and ended up falling over and hurting herself.

_Didn't I tell you what would happen? Next time listen to your big sibling!_

"Alright, come here." Rouge sighed, holding her arms out. Tikal stumbled into them and curled up, resting her head on Rouge's shoulder. "Mind the ankle!"

"I love you Rouge. You're so cool. You're so nice. You smell good."

"I love you too, Tikal." Rouge said, clearly trying not to laugh. "You'll be fine. Knuckles will get you a big glass of water when we get home."

"Knuckles is silly." she sighed.

"He can be." Rouge agreed. Her eyes flickered over to him. "But he loves you very much and is going to take good care of you, okay?"

Tikal mumbled incoherently.

"How uh - how is your ankle?" he said gruffly.

"I've dealt with worse." Rouge said nonchalantly. "I'll get a taxi home."

"Are you sure? I could drive - "

"It's fine. Besides, you need to get this one home. We all need to get home."

Cosmo, Tails, and Cream helped Tikal to her feet, looking over at each other with wide eyes. This was clearly a milestone - the first time any of them had ever gotten drunk. Rouge let Knuckles gather her up, put his arm around her waist and support her as she hobbled to the door. Blaze picked up Rouge's heels, which she'd discarded on the floor. I tried to make eye contact with her but she avoided my gaze, walking with her head down. I felt a wave of anger wash over me. She'd been so nervous about this party and then when she finally started to relax and have fun some asshole had taken advantage of her and ruined it.

Silver was still fuming, but trying to hide it. He didn't say a word as we walked to the door. Music was still playing but Nicole had left the deck in favour of making out with a pretty red-haired fox dressed as a cheerleader. I made a flicker of awkward eye contact with Elias Acorn. I spotted Sally talking to the black-and-white cat from earlier, as effortlessly beautiful as ever. We made eye contact too and she waved at me -

"See you Monday!" she smiled.

I waved back but couldn't bring myself to return the smile.

I felt Blaze shrink back slightly as we passed a crowd of boys with various masks pushed to the tops of their heads. The boys she'd been talking to. One of them, a sour faced weasel, saw her and curled up his lip in a sneer.

"Stuck up bitch."

Silver moved suddenly beside me. In a flash the weasel was on the ground, yelling as blood gushed from his nose. Silver stared down at him, his brow knitted together in fury.

We all gaped at him.

"If you come near her again, I'll break your legs." he said in a low, dangerous voice. Without another word he walked out of the door, pushing past the people who had gathered around to watch the confrontation.

Blaze paused for half a second before following him out the door, her tail lashing backwards and forwards.

Maria and I exchanged similar stricken glances before hurrying out after them. They were already arguing when we got there, oblivious to our presence.

"I don't _need_ protecting, Silver! I don't need you to rescue me!"

"That's not what I was trying to do!"

"You so were! You always do things like this - holding doors open, offering to carry my books or my bag - "

"What so that's a crime?"

"I'm just saying I can look after myself."

"All I'm saying is you don't have too. Did you expect me to just let him talk to you like that? To let him get away with what he did to you?"

"I was fine." Blaze protested, but her voice was wobbling. "I don't need you to do this. I don't know why you're doing this, like is it just to feel macho or something? You don't need to do that, you don't need to prove yourself to me. You're my best friend. I don't need you to like, defend my honour or whatever - "

"That's - that's so _not_ what it was!" he cried.

"Then what was it?" she demanded.

"It's because I - I mean, he hurt you." he said, pathetically, losing his nerve. "I couldn't - I sound so selfish, I just couldn't see you like that." his voice was thick with unshed tears.

"Why not? Why do you care so much?" Blaze yelled, her own eyes glassy and her fists balled up in anger.

"Because - "

"Because?"

"Because - Because I love you!" he cried. "That's why, okay? If you're going to ask you why I care about you, why I want to look out for you, why I get pissed when some dipshit fucking _assaults_ you - it's because I've been in love with you for so long and you've never once noticed."

I heard gasps from behind me. I turned my head around to see that the others had appeared, now accompanied by Sonic. His eyes were wide with shock.

Blaze let out a choked, strangled sob. Her eyes were wide behind her glasses and her hands were covering her mouth as she stared at Silver in equal parts shock in horror. He stared helplessly at her as he realised what he'd said.

"Blaze, I - "

She took a sudden, sharp step backwards and his words faltered.

"I'm - I'm so so sorry." she said in an agonized whisper. "I just - I need -"

"I get it." Silver sighed, his eyes brimming with tears. "Now you know. It's fine."

"Silver - " Blaze began.

"I'll see you guys at school." he said, addressing us for the first time. "I'm gonna look for a ride home - "

"I texted the taxi service - paid in advance - the cars will be here soon." Rouge protested. But he'd already walked past her and into the house.

We all stood there in silence. Blaze looked utterly forlorn, tears running down her face, staining her fur with mascara.

"Oh Blaze …" Maria murmured, pulling her into a hug. Maria looked misty-eyed herself, gripping her friend tightly against her body.

"I had no idea." Blaze whispered.

"We know." Maria replied.

"I've ruined everything."

"No you haven't." Sonic said, his voice steady and serious. "We're all friends. We've been friends for years. Nothing's going to undo that."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Taxis are here." Rouge said. Three pairs of headlights were coming up the driveway. Everyone began gathering themselves together. Tikal let out a groan and began to retch onto the stone pathway.

"I can't _believe_ you were drinking." Knuckles sighed. "You're - "

"She's fifteen, Knuckles." Rouge huffed. "I seem to remember you blacking out in fields every other weekend when you were her age."

He flushed furiously but seemed chastened by the memory. Tails, Cosmo, and Cream helped Tikal into the car.

"Are all parties like this?" Cosmo asked.

"Sometimes." Rouge shrugged.

"I don't think I like parties." Cream sighed. Cheese chirruped sadly in agreement.

"It's not just parties." Rouge explained. "It's just … part of growing up. Things get complicated. Messier. We've got to figure all of our shit out, figure out who we're supposed to me. This time in your life - it's about experiences. Some of those will be bad experiences, but there are good ones too. Like dancing with your friends. Having your first drink. A guy asking you for your number ..."

Cream's face reddened. "You told me you wouldn't tell anyone!" she moaned.

"We-hey-hey!" Tails laughed. Cosmo nudged Cream playfully. "You kept that one quiet!"

Cream looked like she wanted to die from shame.

"Tikal seemed to be having fun until she got sick." Rouge said. "Like I said, good and bad. That's just life."

She was right, I realised. In spite of all the drama of the night I'd had a lot of fun - dancing, talking to people, dressing up and getting ready. Even the bad things made me feel closer to everyone. We'd gone through it all together, confided in each other …

Knuckles helped Rouge into the front seat of the taxi so she'd have room to stretch out her leg. He, Cream, and Cheese joined Tikal in the back seat.

Blaze let out a loud sniff. Tails and Cosmo ushered her into the second taxi, bidding us goodbye.

"We should get going." Maria said. "I don't know about you but I could really do with a pizza."

We got into the last taxi. Sonic gave the driver the addresses and we drove away, leaving the pounding bass and remaining partygoers behind us.

"I have _so_ much homework to do." Sonic groaned. He was sitting in the passenger seat, directing the driver through the winding country roads. Part of me would have liked to be sitting beside him, but it was easier to talk to the back of his head.

"We need to get started on our history project too." I added. He said he'd talk to me about it during the week but nothing had come of it.

"Shit yeah, you're right. Maybe next weekend? We've a long one, what with Homecoming and everything.

"Cool. Maybe I could message you - we can fix something up?" I asked tentatively. It was a risky move on my part, offering to make contact first … it would be easier if he was anticipating it.

"Sounds good."

We reached his house first. I could barely make it out in the dark, but I got the impression of a compact two-story building, stuck between two other identically shaped buildings. Comfortable. Cosy.

"I'll see you girls at school on Monday." he said.

"Bye Sonic." I replied softly. Maria said nothing.

He raked his hand through his quills and walked away, fishing a key out of his pockets. He opened the door and disappeared inside, back into his own life.

The driver pulled away. I glanced over at Maria, jolting when I saw that her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Maria?" I exclaimed. "What's wrong?" _Surely she couldn't be that upset about Silver and Blaze?_

Her eyes met mine, her face crumpling with sorrow. "Shadow and I broke up." she whispered.

"What?!" I was so shocked that I didn't even care if the driver heard my voice. "What happened?"

She shook her head furiously.

"Maria … please tell me." I said gently. "You're my friend. I'm here for you."

There was a pause. Then -

"We had a fight. Before the party. A bad one. A 'maybe we shouldn't be together one'. Then after I talked to you … I went to find him. And I did. He wasn't alone." she said simply.

"Oh - oh Maria." I was stricken - this was Shadow and Maria. How could this have happened? "What a … that's such a shitty thing to do."

She shook her head again. "No. No, it's - it's my fault. I was the one who said maybe we shouldn't be together." her voice was thick and bitterness seeped from every word. "It's so unfair."

"What?"

"It's so unfair to let someone love you."

I didn't know what to say to that. I did the only thing I could do - took her hand and squeezed it softly, letting silence settle between us until we reached her house, trying not to think of the look in Sonic's eyes as we'd danced together ...


	13. Aftermath

As soon as we stepped into the little white townhouse and she immediately went into the bathroom, claiming that she wanted to remove her make-up. She emerged ten-minutes with red-rimmed eyes and a wobbly smile.

I once read that while it's good and noble to comfort someone when they've been crying, it can be kinder to ignore their tears if they're trying to hide them. I knew from experience how painful it could be, having people see you be so vulnerable. So I called the local twenty-four-hour pizza place and ordered us some food, while Maria bustled about the place, offering me tea and biscuits, checking that I had pyjamas and a toothbrush, giving me the Wifi password, telling me to get up anytime I wanted because she was a deep sleeper and her grandfather - who she lived with - would be out all day on Sunday, between mass at the local church, lunch with his former co-workers, and bridge in the town hall later that evening. The chatter didn't stop once the food arrived either. She picked at a single slice and, in spite of telling me that she'd been craving it all evening, let most of it grow cold on her plate as she talked about everything else that had happened tonight - Knuckles and Rouge's argument, Silver's confession, the hangover that Tikal was bound to have tomorrow - 

I barely registered what she was saying. All I could think about was her and Shadow. They'd been together for what, two years? They always sat together at lunch, they walked each other to classes, hand in hand … she'd looked so content when she reflected on their relationship at her locker on my first day. For someone who'd never been in anything resembling a relationship, who'd never even had a real crush before and who found the prospect altogether too terrifying to comprehend, I was a complete and utter romantic and loved watching them together. Something in Shadow came alive when he looked at Maria. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was quiet and intimidating but she brought out a lightness in him, made him soften, made him laugh. I'd seen how she acted around him too - still like herself, but a toned-down version, a quieter, more peaceable version of herself. Maria with the volume turned down slightly. Like she was recharging. Taking a break from the exhaustion of being ultraviolet all the time.

What could they possibly have been fighting about that would make Maria want to throw that away? That would send Shadow into someone else's arms?

I didn't know. I didn't know how to ask either. All I could do was let Maria talk and try to be there for her.

We spent the night sharing her four-poster bed, huddled together under the ruffled white sheets and blue quilted bedspread. She had her back to me, having made an elaborate show of yawning and talking about how tired she was before rolling over to sleep - though I suspected from her breathing that she'd lain awake for longer than she let on. Eventually, her breaths became longer, deeper. I listened to the soft rise and fall of her breathing, lying stiffly, not wanting to disturb her arm, which was draped halfway across me. I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours, trying to work through my own emotions, the good and the bad …

Dancing with Sonic felt like a bit of both.

" _It's so unfair …"_

" _What?"_

" _It's so unfair to let someone …"_

I turned over in the bed so that I was facing the wall and shut my eyes firmly, trying to shut my mind down with equal fervour.

It had certainly been an experience.

I must have dozed off eventually because I opened my eyes to see the muffled sunlight behind the gauzy white curtains. Maria was still asleep beside me. Luckily seven years of sharing a bed with Abigail had taught me how to successfully leave this one without disturbing Maria now. She needed all of the rest she could get.

I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and surveyed the room. It was very _clean_. There wasn't a lick of dust in sight, the white paint on the dressing table was utterly unblemished, and there wasn't a hint of lint on the soft rug. Even in her distressed state, Maria had remembered to hang up her clothes in the little wardrobe in the corner of the room. I tiptoed around it, admiring the turquoise record player, the neatly arranged stack of records, the snowglobes on the dressing table, and the fairy-lights that bordered a collage of polaroid snaps. I looked at the pictures of the entire gang, a couple of her and the girls, and dozens of her and Shadow.

"Good morning."

I whipped around to see Maria looking at me through heavy-lidded eyes, her head sinking into her pillow. She tried to smile but I could tell that her heart wasn't in it. She let out a yawn and propped herself up on her matchstick arms.

"How did you sleep?" I asked.

"Alright. How about you? Were you comfortable?"

I nodded wordlessly, waiting for her to say anything about the previous night. She just sat there, absentmindedly chewing on her lip. The silence only lasted for a couple of seconds because my stomach chose that precise moment to let out a groan of hunger.

I felt my face flare up but the sound seemed to snap Maria out of her trance. "You're hungry. Sorry, I'm being a terrible hostess - do you want to get some breakfast?"

I nodded again and she led me down the stairs, in a whirl of blonde hair. Within twenty minutes we were eating bowls of granola, fruit, and yogurt at the kitchen table, the tick-tick-ticking of the clock marking the seconds. Maria was staring down into her bowl, hair hiding her face so that I couldn't make out her expression.

"So, what shall we do?" she asked. "Do you want to get dressed or laze about for a while? I suspect you're tired after last night."

I was tired, mentally as well as physically. Honestly, a large part of me wanted to get dressed and go home and go back to sleep. But I just couldn't leave Maria alone right now.

We went into the living room. It was as neat and tidy as the rest of the house, all colour coordinating furniture and heavy hardbacks stacked neatly on the shelves. A photograph of a younger Maria standing next to an elderly hedgehog that I could only assume was her grandfather stood on a coffee table.

"Let's see - I have a lot of Audrey Hepburn films, some classic rom-coms …"

While Maria scanned her DVD collection for something for us to watch, I checked my phone. The group-chat was largely silent, apart from selfies and group photos from the night before that had been sent in, and a couple of messages from Tikal complaining about her headache. Blaze had seen the messages but not replied to them - though this wasn't unusual for her. Rouge had sent in a message checking if we'd all gotten home okay.

I had a few more friend requests - including one from Elias Acorn which I accepted after a flicker of hesitation. I was still mortified over walking in on him and that girl.

Maria slid in a disc - I didn't think that people really watched DVDs anymore, but Maria was a little behind on the times - and flopped down onto the sofa. She'd put on _Clueless_ , which I'd never actually seen before. I knew it was iconic of course, but it was kind of in the pantheon of girly-sleepover movies, the same one that hosted _She's The Man_ and _Mean Girls,_ and I'd never really been to a girly sleepover. It was good. I laughed aloud and Maria let out a couple of giggles. She started playing with my hair, occasionally making comments about what was happening on-screen every so often. For a few minutes, I forgot about all of the drama of the night before. It was cool and misty outside, but we were warm here bathing in the yellow light of the living room.

We were three-quarters of the way through the film when there was a rapping on the door. I turned to look at Maria who quickly picked up the TV remote and paused the film, a perplexed expression on her face. "That's odd," she said. She stood up and walked out of the room and into the front hallway. I heard the sound of the front door open and the sharp intake of breath.

"What are you doing here?"

I stepped up from the sofa and took a couple of steps forward, wincing slightly as my foot pressed down onto a creaky panel of wood. I hovered in the doorway. I could see Maria standing in front of the door, her arms crossed around her body. At the angle she was standing I couldn't make out her expression, as it was hidden by her sheet of blonde hair. I couldn't see who she was talking to either.

"Maria, I - "

It was a feminine voice, husky and unfamiliar, though something told me that I should have recognised it.

"Do you need something?"

"I just - look, about last night …" the girl trailed off. The air was suddenly thick with tension. I didn't dare peer further around the doorway, even though I wanted to see who this girl was.

I wanted you to know that it's not what you think. It's not what it looked like."

"Oh right, because it _looked_ like you were kissing Shadow while he felt you up." Maria's tone was surprisingly calm, given the circumstances, though her voice cracked when she said Shadow's name. She quickly regained her composure. "You don't need to make excuses or explain anything to me. He was a free agent. We'd for all intents and purposes broken up before the party."

Her voice was tinged with regret but she didn't falter. Something had shifted and her tone was stronger, steelier now.

"That's exactly it though, I mean he wouldn't have - he was _upset_ , he said you guys had a fight?" Maria didn't respond so the girl continued. "Look we got talking, we were both feeling a bit down in the dumps, we had a couple of drinks … that's all it was. We were just letting off some steam. I didn't mean for it to happen, and I - I really didn't mean for you to see. I'd _never_ want you to go through that."

"That's good of you to say." Maria sighed. "Look - it doesn't matter, okay? I'm glad that you guys got to let off some steam together, or whatever. That he found some outlet for that … pent-up frustration."

"No - oh shit, I'm making things worse." the voice was thick now, with tears I realised.

"Please don't cry." Maria said, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Maria I really am. It's not his fault, okay? He loves you. He just made a bad choice. He's so cut up about it."

"You didn't need to come here to tell me that."

"He didn't think you'd want to see him."

Maria let out a sigh. "I mean, he's not wrong."

A silence settled between them, but Maria made no move to close the door. I didn't understand how she was being so calm about all of this. Yes, she'd said that she'd technically broken up with Shadow before the party, that they'd had an awful fight …

 _It's your fault_ the voice in my head whispered. _You convinced her to go and look for him. Then she saw him with that girl. If it wasn't for you Maria would be happy right now._

I swallowed the bitter lump that was threatening to rise in my throat. _It's not my fault_.

I knew that. Crucially, I knew that I wouldn't be able to be a good friend to Maria right now if I was wallowing in my own self-pity and anxiety.

"I should go …"

"Mm-hm. That might - sorry, I'm just really tired."

"No, Maria … I get it."

Another pause.

"I wish that it didn't have to be like this."

"I know."

"I screwed up."

A beat.

"You weren't the only one."

Silence. I hardly dared to breathe.

"Well … I guess I'll see you around in school. Bye Maria."

"Bye."

"I'm really so so sorry - "

"You don't … I know."

Maria moved to close the front door. I leapt back onto the sofa and grabbed my phone just as Maria walked into the room, as though nothing had happened.

"All okay?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah," Maria said, without elaborating. "Any news from anyone?"

"No …" I said, suddenly distracted. I had a new notification from Sonic - but I couldn't open it now.

"I really hope that Silver and Blaze are okay." Maria sighed.

"Yeah … She hasn't really been online, from what I could see. Neither has he."

"We'll see them tomorrow I guess. An intervention may be in order."

She picked up the remote control and quickly resumed the film, staring straight at the screen. She stayed like that until it ended, just watching it in silence. I tried to laugh at the jokes, create a semblance of normalcy, but I was too distracted by the sad look in Maria's eyes.

I didn't know what to do. Would she _want_ to talk about what was happening or did she just want to ignore it? On the other hand, was striking up a conversation about Home Ec class or _Shadowhunters_ tactless? I weighed the pros and cons in my head as we walked up the stairs to Maria's room and as she sorted through her records until she found one for us to listen to.. In the end my concern for Maria won out over my anxiety around initiating difficult conversations.

"Maria?"

She was looking into the mirror, plucking at one of her eyebrows and humming along to Peggy Lee.

"Hm?"

"Are you okay …?"

"Oh of course, sorry, I'm a little tired I guess - "

"No I mean …" Gah, this was hard. "We haven't really talked about … what you said last night."

Her hand twitched and flew down to her side. She didn't look at me but began fiddling with the little pots of eyeshadow and sequin-studded boxes that adorned the dressing table, her eyes lowered.

"I'm okay."

I bit my lip. "I thought maybe it might help if we talked about -?"

I realised that this was futile. Maybe Maria had some baggage which meant she was closed off to help, maybe I was simply too socially clumsy to go about this the right way. Being direct wouldn't work.

I jumped up from the bed, fixing on my brightest smile - ultraviolet, even. Maria turned to look at me, her brow furrowed slightly in confusion. I grabbed her hands and spun her around. She let out a short sharp squeak which soon gave way to a giggle.

_Yes, it's a good day for singin' a song,_

_And it's a good day for movin' along_

_Yes, it's a good day, how could anything go wrong,_

_A good day from mornin' till night_

A few hours later we'd applied face masks, made microwave popcorn, watched silly YouTube videos, and done dozens of BuzzFeed personality quizzes. It was beginning to get dark - I'd have to go home soon, back to mum and Abigail, so that I could eat dinner and shower before going to bed. Thankfully I'd learned my lesson from last weekend and done all of my homework as soon as I was home from school on Friday.

I didn't want to leave yet though. Maria seemed a little more cheerful, a little more like herself, but there was still something flickering behind those big blue eyes of hers. She sat back on the bed and began fiddling with strands of my hair, dividing them into segments and braiding them. It felt uncomfortable but I didn't protest. She was beginning to open up, slowly but surely, and I knew that she was just trying to focus her attention onto _something_ so that she could maintain her measured tone. Like me stroking my rose quartz or fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

She didn't talk about the argument or the break-up or what she'd seen at the party, but even so I learned a lot about Maria that evening; her parents passed away in a car-accident when she was seven and since then she'd lived in this house with her mother's parents. Her grandmother died while she was still in middle-school, so now it was just her and her grandfather, a retired scientist. Shadow was her grandfather's neighbour. They'd been friends since Maria moved in with her grandparents, spending their days playing together after school, doing homework, and watching cartoons. Shadow learned how to play the piano and now taught it at the studio Maria danced in. She'd bridged the gap between the other kids, like Sonic and Rouge, who was probably the only other person who was half as close to him as Maria was, and he'd held her hand at her grandmother's funeral. She told me the story of their first kiss and how everything seemed to click in that moment, like some part of her that had been lost when her parents died was suddenly slotting neatly back into place. No fireworks, no dramatic realistion - it was that simple.

_Oh there you are._

I couldn't begin to imagine what losing that was like.

_I've been looking for you forever._

I didn't want to imagine it.

"Maria, who was Shadow with?" I asked. "Who came to the door today?"

She paused momentarily while braiding my hair. Took a deep breath.

"It was Mina. He was with Mina."

___

On Monday morning Maria walked into school with her head held high. Her blonde hair was shiny and smelled of flowers and her pale blue t-shirt and jeans looked like they'd been purchased that day. She sat down at our table at lunchtime like the Good Witch Glinda descending into Munchkinland by bubble, her dazzling smile breaking some of the tension that was in the air. Rouge and Knuckles were sitting at opposite ends of the table in an uneasy truce, and neither Shadow nor Blaze were anywhere in sight. Silver had his head in his hands, his untouched veggie dog growing cold on the red plastic lunch-tray. I'd been sitting beside Sonic, practically holding my breath in case I disturbed him, though he did his best to fill the silence by talking to Tails.

"Hey - where's Shadow?" Rouge asked her. "He wouldn't respond to my texts this weekend."

"He's not feeling well." Maria replied smoothly. "Flu season."

Rouge shrugged her shoulders and continued eating her exotic-looking salad. My eyes flickered over to Maria, who was pointedly avoiding my gaze. She popped a grape into her mouth and chewed it slowly. Silver looked up from the table. His eyes were rimmed with dark shadows and his eyelids seemed heavy from lack of sleep.

"Blaze hasn't answered my texts either." he said. "Has anyone else heard from her? - Cream? Amy? Sonic?"

Cream and I shook our heads.

"Sorry man," Sonic sighed.

Silver let out a groan. "I just need to apologise to her for making her uncomfortable. That's it. Then we can go back to normal."

The bell couldn't ring quickly enough.

I didn't have any classes with Maria for the rest of the day. I was too busy to text her that evening, between making Abigail endless rounds of grilled cheese sandwiches and struggling through my maths homework. I wasn't sure she'd respond to me anyway - why had she played along with Rouge? Why had she seemed so nonchalant when talking about Shadow?

 **Tikal Pacha:** Blaze, please talk to us!

 **Cream Barony:** We're worried about you! S

 **Cosmo Birnbaum:** Silver is too!

_Blaze Sol has left the chat_

**Tails Prower:** …

I walked into school the next morning, passing by the posters advertising Homecoming, still dwelling on everything that had happened.

" _It was Mina. He was with Mina."_

"Hey Amy," I snapped out of my trance to see Sonic smiling at me as he passed by me in the hallway, accompanied by the red-faced, sweaty members of the track team - and Sally Acorn, who was neither red-faced nor sweaty, but had a healthy glow that made it look like she'd just gotten back from a three-day luxurious spa treatment.

I smiled weakly in response, my hand twitching in an imitation of a wave. They continued to walk down the hall and I let out a sigh.

Maria's revelation about Shadow and Mina, and the suspicion that she was keeping it to herself, had affected how I'd thought about Sonic. I'd left his two latest Snapchats unopened

Hugging my books to my chest I walked down the hall towards the lockers. Maria was standing there alone, pulling her books out and looking pensive.

"How did you find the English homework?" she asked me as I approached. "I'm having trouble engaging with Donne, I just - "

"I'm sorry," I interjected. "Maria, I need to talk to you about - "

"That poem about the flea? What was that about?"

"Maria!" She fell silent at my sudden exclamation. I dropped my voice down to a whisper. "What's going on? Have you told the girls about you and Shadow yet?"

She looked down at her feet and shook her head.

"Okay," I sighed. I got no satisfaction out of being proven right. "Well, maybe we can all talk about it at - "

"I'm not going to tell them either."

She was looking right at me, her chin raised almost defiantly.

"What do you mean?"

"I promise I will soon, okay? Just … not yet."

"But - when?"

"At some stage."

"Well, what about Shadow?" I was at a loss - I couldn't see this going well at all.

"Shadow and I talked about it already. He came by the house. We're going to give each other some space, keep things quiet … and then I'm to tell people when I'm ready."

"And … that's what he wants?"

She shrugged her shoulders. I got the sense that she was hiding something from me. I somehow doubted that Shadow was totally on board with the plan. After all, he still had feelings for her. But that being the case, maybe he wanted to keep the news quiet for a while, while he got over her, or - it occurred to me - tried to get her back.

They had such an incredible love story. Surely he'd fight for it?

 _He didn't fight for it on Saturday night_.

Maria continued pulling books out of her locker. Watching her, I realised that I was in no position to tell her how to go about mending her broken heart, how she should cope with what was happening. If she wanted to wait to tell people, that was her call - as long as she and Shadow were on the same page, that was all that mattered, right?

As much as I cared about Maria, there was something else in the back of my head that was holding me back - the fact that I cared about Sonic.

_Sonic and Mina never dated. He rejected her months ago. He doesn't have any business knowing who she's kissing or not kissing, he doesn't have to know about the break-up._

But part of me felt strongly that he should know. That someone should tell him. He was friends with Shadow, friends with Maria, and he'd been, to some extent, involved with Mina. Didn't that mean that he had a right to know the truth? I'd even seen him and Mina talking to one another at the party - what if something had happened that acted as the catalyst for Mina to kiss Shadow?

This was all so new to me. I had nothing to go on, no real life experience, just the conflicting narratives from various TV shows … and the wishes of Maria. Who, as much as she claimed otherwise, was the real wronged party here, in my eyes at least.

I didn't have long to dwell on this, because at that moment, Blaze rounded the corner, stopping in her tracks when she saw us both. Blaze

(x x x)

"So … how are you feeling?"

The girls had vetoed a trip to _Deja Brew_ in favour of sitting outside around the back of the school. The seven of us were squashed together on two benches, shivering slightly. It was a misty afternoon and the school grounds were largely empty. Two girls were stretching their legs and getting ready to run laps along the track, but they were far enough away so that we could talk in privacy. Rouge had driven to town during a free period and bought us a box of cupcakes and some Cokes - Diet for her and Maria.

Blaze was silent for a few seconds. I studied her - she never gave much away with her face. It was an impassive mask, and though her bright yellow eyes could be quite expressive, they were hidden behind the lens of her glasses. But even as she sat there, stony-faced, I noticed her throat moving as she swallowed a lump before she responded. "I'm okay."

"So why did you run off like that?" Rouge demanded.

"Rouge!"

"What? We were all thinking it!" she protested

"You could try to have a little more tact." Tikal muttered. She glanced over at Blaze. "Although .. I suppose that we were all wondering what was up there?"

"I was _tired_." Blaze said. "And it wasn't exactly the best night I've ever had, what with … Nack and everything."

"You had a really hard time." Cream said sympathetically. Tikal and Cosmo nodded in agreement.

"I had a lot to think about." Blaze sighed. She fell silent again. The six of us exchanged glances. Nobody seemed to know what to say.

I heard a voice tentatively break through the silence - my voice.

"And … have you thought about them?"

A pause. I drained the end of my Coke.

"Maybe." Blaze admitted, finally. She looked around at us all. "Did you _know_?"

"Yes!" we exclaimed. A flicker of a smile appeared on Blaze's face before her features melted into an expression of confusion.

"So he told everyone but me?"

"He didn't tell us." Cosmo explained quickly. "We just … all thought it was pretty obvious."

"Oh." I could sense her tail lashing from side to side behind me. "Well, why didn't you guys say anything?"

"We … didn't know how you'd take it." Cream admitted.

"And considering how you did take it, it was probably the right call on our part." Rouge added. Tikal rolled her eyes again.

"Was it as bad as I remember?" Blaze asked weakly.

"It … wasn't great."

"I really didn't want to hurt him." Blaze said.

"We know."

Blaze sniffed, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. Catching herself she blinked hard and cleared her throat before carrying on in what was clearly meant to be a more measured tone. "How is he?"

"He's … worried." Maria admitted. "About you more than anything else."

"Me?" Blaze shook her head. "I've been such a terrible friend."

"No - "

"I have." she insisted. "I've been ignoring him for the last three days. I can only imagine … I know that that's only made things worse - he's going to blame himself!"

I bit down on my lip, hard. I wanted to make her feel better. But I couldn't lie to her and say that Silver hadn't been weighed down with guilt over what he'd said.

"And it's all _my_ fault."

"It's - "

"No it is! Because I panicked. I just don't know how to handle the situation."

"The situation being …?" Rouge asked.

"You know - _romance_ , feelings … that kind of thing." Blaze sighed. "It's all so complicated."

"Well … it doesn't have to be." Maria told her.

Blaze shook her head. "I … I like facts. Figures. I like it when everything's in its place, neat and tidy. Orderly. I thrive when I have to follow instructions. When there's a code in place. Rules. Regulations. I just thought - we were friends, best friends, and it was easy. Now … I mean, I don't even know why he'd be interested in me." Blaze confessed. Rouge opened her mouth to protest but Blaze interrupted her. "I'm serious - I'm not trying to sound modest, or self-deprecating, I just … I know that I can come across as cold. I'm anti-social. I'm cynical. I don't trust easily. I'm sarcastic, I'm solemn, I'm _plain_ \- "

"You're beautiful, Blaze." Cream said seriously.

A flush of pink stained Blaze's cheeks. "Regardless," she said, quickly moving on. "I'm no match for him. Silver, he's - he's scrappy, he's passionate, he's so … painfully optimistic - I mean he'll _always_ do what he thinks is right … " she trailed off, her yellow eyes flickering down to the ground.

"He's pretty cute too." Rouge pointed out, a sly smirk on her face. "I mean, you could do a lot worse."

Blaze shifted uncomfortably. "See … that's the thing ..." she said.

"You don't think he's attractive?" Cosmo asked.

"It's - it's not that."

"You know, you don't have to date him." Rouge told her. "I mean, it would be nice if you guys did. Picture-book. We've _all_ been rooting for you two. But you don't owe it to him, if you don't feel the same way - "

"But that's the thing." Blaze interjected. "I … might?"

"Really?" Cream squeaked, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Oh that's great!"

"But - "

"But?"

"Well … I don't really know." she finished lamely. "It's like - "It's so strange, really, because … I like spending time with him. I like who I am around him. I care about him. I really, really do. So much so that it honestly hurts." she paused again. "There are just - there's so many things that I love about him. And I guess part of me wonders - if that means I love him? But then I wonder … isn't that normal? I mean, I love all of you too - I don't say it, I don't know if it shows, but I do. You love your friends. Maybe that's it?"

"Romantic love is … a different thing." Maria said. "A different thing altogether."

"See, that's what's confusing me." Blaze sighed. "Because whenever someone describes the difference between the two, platonic affection and romantic affection, the descriptions are so … rooted in physical attraction."

"So you don't wanna bone him?" Rouge asked. "I'm just clarifying."

Blaze's face reddened. "I can't even think about it, in all honesty."

"I mean … when you're friends with someone and have been for a long time, it can be a little strange at first." Cosmo said.

"Making the transition to anything physical.

"That … might be it" Blaze said, doubtfully.

"Maybe you just _don't_ like him like that." Tikal suggested.

"And that's beyond okay." Maria clarified. I nodded in agreement - as much as I liked Silver, as much as I wanted them together (and as much as I felt in some way responsible for what had happened at the party) the choice was on Blaze. She didn't owe him anything.

"I mean - what is physical attraction, really?" Blaze asked. "Because - I mean, I notice the way he smiles. The way his eyes light up when he gets excited. How he stands with all of his weight on his left leg. Little details that I find endearing. I can tell that he's, you know, technically … good-looking. It just, I don't know, it doesn't really … do anything for me."

"He just mightn't be your type." Rouge suggested.

"But it's not just Silver. I look at any guy - or girl, even - and it's the same sort of feeling. I can see if someone has aesthetically pleasing features or something, but it's the way you take in the sky or the flowers. It's part of the scenery. I mean, it honestly never struck me as all that important in a relationship, or even in general."

"How do you mean?" Rouge asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Well I mean - take celebrity crushes. Or crushes on fictional characters. I mean, I'd say I had them and everything. There are celebrities that I think are talented or seem nice in their interviews. There are fictional characters that I'd daydream about when I was younger. But it was never, you know - what I mean to say is it was always … we'd go on adventures together, or talk and hang out together. We'd hold hands or something. And that's all that I can think about doing with Silver as well - not that I, you know, think of him at all." she added quickly, fooling none of us. "And even if I did - since it's not like that … I mean, if that is the difference between the two. Like, if love is caring about someone, really caring about them … I care about all of you, but that doesn't mean that I'm in love with any of you. So maybe it is just … platonic."

"Okay well - "

"But then … it feels like more? I mean, it feels like something so much deeper than that. There's just no physical element, and I don't think that's anything to do with him, I think that's just me. Whatever way I'm wired, however my brain or biology works, I just … have no real desire to do any of _that_."

" _Any_ of it?" Rouge's shock was evident.

"This … sounds like something I've read about." Cosmo said carefully.

"Really?" Blaze's eyes widened behind her glasses.

"When Tails came out, I started doing some research," Cosmo explained. "Into all kinds of LGBT stuff. There was a word, and it sounds like it's what you're going through - a lack or absence of sexual attraction. I think it's called -"

"Asexuality." Tikal announced. She held up her phone where the webpage for the Asexual Visibility and Education Network.

"May I see that?" Blaze asked. Tikal handed Blaze the phone and she began reading the information on the website.

"Asexual? Like … plants?" Rouge's face was scrunched up in confusion.

"That's asexual reproduction." Cosmo corrected gently. "Plants that can reproduce by themselves. This is different. It's a kind of sexual orientation."

Blaze handed the phone back to Tikal. She was frowning slightly.

"It … resonates. But then how do I know how I feel? What if it's just friendship?"

"In my experience," Maria said, "The best relationships begin with a good friendship." she sounded thoughtful. "You know, I think you're comparing two things that actually aren't all that different. They're not different songs, they're just … variations of the same theme."

"And sex - " I could feel my face reddening as I said the word, like I was a twelve year old - "isn't the most important part of a relationship."

"You can have sex without the romance." Rouge added. "Maybe you can have it the other way around to."

I could see that Blaze was contemplating this.

"Say that I was to … go on a date with Silver, or something - what's to say that he even want to go on one with me?

"He told you he loved you, Blaze." Rouge smirked. "I think that it's fairly safe to assume that he wouldn't say no to a trip to the cinema."

Blaze rolled her eyes. "I'm new at this." she sighed. "All of this. I don't even know for sure how I feel. It just … never really occurred to me before. I suppose that I just presumed - I mean, well … he's a teenage boy. I'm not exactly model material or anything."

"Got the tits for it." Rouge pointed out.

Blaze snorted. "You need more than that. I'm bookish. I wear glasses. I don't know how to put on make-up. I've never even kissed a guy before, and granted I've never really wanted to kiss any guy before but - "

"Even Silver?"

Blaze stopped mid-sentence. She seemed to contemplate this for a few seconds. She didn't say anything but the blush that stained her cheeks spoke volumes.

"Bla-a-ze." Cream giggled.

"The concept isn't … without appeal." she admitted. "But would it be fair on him? I mean most guys - most people - have … urges. Desires. I don't. I don't know if I'm completely opposed to the idea in theory. I know he's handsome, but I just don't feel … sexually attracted to him. I'm not sexually attracted to anyone, I don't think that I ever have been. I never really had to think about it before the ... incident at the party. It had just never occurred to me that someone would be, you know, sexually attracted to me. That I'd be in that position. It was a far cry from a compliment, I can tell you that much."

"Asshole." Rouge muttered.

"Silver would never do something like that to you, Blaze." I said. "He'd never put that pressure on you."

"I know that, and, well, I know what he said. About how he feels. But - that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be with me. I mean, surely he would have said something if he had? Perhaps he … sort of knew how I was, and decided he didn't want to be with me because of it."

"I was talking to him at the party. I actually - he actually told me that he liked you, then and there."

Blaze blinked in surprise. The other girls were sharing looks of surprise. "You kept that to yourself!" Maria exclaimed.

"I don't know if I'm impressed that you got it out of him or annoyed that you did it before I could." Rouge said, shaking her head. She smiled at me so that I knew not to take her too seriously.

"Yeah, well," I moved on quickly. I was pleased with the positive reception, the sense of inclusion - but I really didn't want to tell them that Silver had told me this right after asking me out. I'd spare both of us that embarrassment. "We were talking about it and, Blaze, the only reason he didn't tell you was because he was so worried about freaking you out, or making things weird between you both."

"Even yesterday - "

"How was he?" Blaze interrupted, her eyes wide with concern. "I didn;t see him during Health - "

"He had an appointment, don't worry. But yesterday … well, he was worried. About you. About your friendship."

"He really cares about you." Cosmo smiled.

"And I care about him. That's why … If we were to date and I realised that I don't want to explore a sexual dimension. I don't want to disappoint him, or anything."

"You could never do that." Maria said seriously. "Never."

"He cares about you so so much, Blaze."

"Whatever you want, or don't want, whatever you need, you can be sure that he'll do everything he can to make him happy."

"It sounds to me like you're going into this with a lot of misconceptions," Rouge noted. "Guys aren't all sex-crazed. I mean - look, I'm not going to pretend that I really understand or empathise. I have, like, a ridiculous sex drive, it's really important for me to be sexually attracted to a guy - "

"I don't need to know thiiis!" Tikal sang under her breath, the last word raising into an operatic trill.

"I'll spare you the details, Tikal." Rouge smirked. "Your brother's annoyed with me enough as it is. Anyway, that's me. That's not the case for everyone. And I've never really had a romantic relationship, so to speak, so there you go."

"Him being attracted to you doesn't take away from the countless other reasons why he likes you, Blaze."

" _Loves_ her."

We all stared at Cream. She hugged Cheese tightly against her chest. "For the sake of accuracy!" she said.

"Let's talk about something else …" Tikal said carefully, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Cream - what's this Tails was telling me about you pulling some guy at the party!"

"Tikal!" Cream cried, as we all laughed at her mortified expression, Maria harder than anyone else.

 


	14. Homecoming

Silver and Blaze seemed to come to some kind of an understanding. I don't know what was said or unsaid, but on Wednesday Blaze joined us all for lunch and took her usual place beside him. No statuses were changed on Facebook, no statement was made, but there was a definite shift in their chemistry. There was something definite about their movements whenever they were around each other, as though painstaking thought had gone into each and every one. None of us wanted to intrude by asking them what conclusion they had come to, so we just took solace in the fact that Silver was smiling again and Blaze was making her dry remarks. That same day Tikal, in a conspiratorial whisper, told us that she was fairly certain that she'd heard someone leave their house through Knuckles' bedroom window at the crack of dawn, raising her eyebrows and looking pointedly at Rouge, who was talking to Bunnie Rabbot and some of the other cheerleaders. So, with that particular installment of the Knuckles and Rouge story over (for now), and Silver and Blaze both together again, everything was back to some kind of normal … apart from Shadow and Maria.

Maria had called me the night before. I'd thought she might want to have a heart-to-heart about Shadow, but all she'd wanted to talk about was Blaze's quasi-coming out and what I was going to wear for Homecoming. I still didn't know. All of the drama and excitement of the Halloween party had pushed it out of my mind. Now all of a sudden everyone seemed to take it for granted that I'd be attending - Maria, Silver … even Sonic. Part of me secretly hoped that he'd bring it up after History class, try and coax me into attending, I'd miss you if you weren't there, that sort of thing, but with the track meet so soon our conversations were reduced to general exchanges.

A typical conversation between us would go something like this:

Sonic: Hey

Me: Hey yourself

Sonic: How's things?

Me: Pretty good. Ready for the meet?

Sonic: Born ready. Don't worry, we can focus on the project then.

Me: Okay, cool.

Sonic: Awesome.

Mr Oak: Are you two done? Can I continue with my class?

Sonic would roll his eyes. I'd feel my face flush with shame and focus on taking notes. Class would end and he'd go - things to do, people to see. He wasn't even spending time at the lunch-table with us either, sitting with his team-mates instead in order to boost camaraderie. The track meet was on Friday afternoon - tomorrow. The dance was going to take place that night.

"You don't understand," Maria slapped her hand down on the table. "The pas de deux is one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever composed. It's the most emotional piece in the entire ballet, so you'd think they'd give it to Clara, you know, the protagonist of the entire thing. She and the Nutcracker-turned-prince could dance to it before she wakes up, it would be romantic and beautiful and tragic, but what do the artistic directors do? They just hand it over to the Sugarplum fairy and the Cavalier! Two characters that we've only just met! Honestly!" she angrily snapped off part of a carrot stick. "It's completely unearned."

I hummed in response. I was watching Sonic at the table with the rest of his teammates. Did Sally always lean in so close when she was listening to someone talk? Not that I cared, God.

I tore my eyes away from them and tried to focus on my food. Maria grumbled into her salad, still annoyed about The Nutcracker. The other girls were discussing tomorrow night, how they were going to style their hair and make-up.

"Do you need a ride, Amy?" Cream asked. "We're giving everyone one."

"Oh um - sure, yeah. That'd be awesome!" I tried to smile back while ignoring the lurch in my stomach. What was I doing? I didn't even have a dress.

Just say you can't go.

Oh it was tempting. Oh-so very tempting. I could stay in, make myself some noodles, try a face-mask, watch Netflix in my pyjamas …

But the fear of missing out was too strong. As stressed and as nervous I'd been about the party and in spite of all the shit that had gone down, I was so happy that I'd gone. I wanted to be there, at the dance, posing for selfies with the girls, dancing to the new Taylor Swift single, having fun. I'd spent almost sixteen years on the sidelines of things. I had a lot of catching up to do.

Maybe I can borrow a dress I chewed thoughtfully on my pasta. From who though? My eyes flickered over towards Maira who was still toying with her salad. Unlikely. She was much skinnier than I was, and she hadn't displayed much of an appetite since the events of the weekend.

You'll think of something.

The bell rang and I made my way to my next class still in a trance, so much so that I walked right into someone. "Oh, sorry - " "No worries." It was a familiar voice, warm and rich. My eyes shot upwards and my breath caught in my throat when I saw Elias Acorn looking down at me, his eyebrows raised. I averted my eyes, casting them down towards his expensive-looking shoes. You could tell a lot about someone from their shoes, I was beginning to find. Like Sonic's well-worn (well-loved) red running shoes. Comfortable. Confident. Always on the move.

"Sorry," I repeated. "Didn't um, see you there."

I didn't know where else to look. I'd been so embarrassed when I walked in on him and that girl at the party, and he hadn't looked delighted to see me either.

"It's cool." he shrugged. "I'll see you around."

He shot me a brief smile that didn't reach his eyes and walked past me, down the hall towards the science block. I stood there for a second, all thoughts of the dance momentarily cast out of my mind. Weird.

The worry came creeping back though. I chewed my thumbnail on the bus ride home and almost immediately regretted it - they'd been steadily growing over the last few weeks, for the first time in a long time. Of course the old habit had emerged now, the day before my first school dance.

What was I going to do?

I didn't have to think about it for long. The second I stepped in the door, Abigail came hurtling down the hallway and tackled me to the ground. She was speaking so rapidly that I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying. Mum was standing a little bit behind her, dressed in her hotel polo-shirt and jeans. Her bare feet sank into the threadbare rug. Her shift at the hotel had ended hours ago, why was she still dressed like that?

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. How was school?"

I raised my eyebrow. 

"What?" she asked, in a would-be-casual tone. It was ruined by the twinkle in her eyes - the same glimmer that came into Abigail's that warned you she was plotting some devious scheme.

"We've got a surprise for you!" Abigail giggled, burying her face in the nape of my neck.

"Oh?"

My mind went crazy trying to run through the possibilities - impromptu pizza night? Had mum found a great bargain in a charity shop? Were Rosy and June coming to visit?

"Abby, let your sister go." Mum said, though not crossly. Abigail pulled away from me, her gapped-teeth still on full display as she smiled. Mum was barely managing to hide her own grin. They were being weird - even though I knew it was all harmless, I couldn't help but feel apprehensive as they led me into mum's bedroom.

"What's going - ?"

The words died on my mouth as I saw the dress that had been carefully spread out on the bed. A knee-length pleated skirt, sweetheart neckline, off the shoulder dress, made of ruby red material - my favourite colour. I took a tentative step towards it, my mouth still open and poised to finish the question. It looked all the more beautiful against the beige bedspread.

"You shouldn't have - "

"It's not new." Mum clarified quickly. "Abigail has to bring a family artefact into school on Friday, so I was digging around in the attic and - well - "

"Who did it belong to?"

"It's Auntie June's dress!" Abigail informed me.

"She wore it to Prom. Senior year," Mum was misty-eyed as she recalled that night almost sixteen years ago. "She looked radiant. I can only imagine - every eye must have been on her."

"I bet you were prettier!"

I felt Mum's eyes flicker over towards me. I pretended not to notice, though I felt my stomach twist at Abigail's statement. Mum hadn't gone to Homecoming. Or her Senior Prom. She'd spent Senior year struggling to get her high school diploma in between doctor appointments and ultrasounds. She hadn't even gotten her portrait taken for the Yearbook.

"But I think Amy will be the prettiest!" Abigail decided. She reached for the dress with her grubby fingers.

"Careful Abbs," I said gently, reaching out to intercept her clumsy hands. "We don't want to ruin it." I paused. "How did you know I needed a dress?" I hadn't mentioned Homecoming.

"It's a small town, Amy." Mum laughed. "Most of my coworkers have kids in your school."

I braced myself for the inevitable question - why hadn't I mentioned it to her? But it never came. She just stood there, silently, with that same misty-eyed expression in place.

I fingered the fabric. It was soft to the touch and felt oh-so luxurious that I wanted to cry.

"What do you think?"

I turned around and fell into her arms. She wrapped them tightly around me and pressed her lips against my head. She let them rest there for a few seconds. I closed my eyes and breathed in her scent, her safe warm scent, underneath the clinical smell of cleaning products and disinfectant.

"I love it. Thank you. So much."

Some of the tension that had existed between us for the last fortnight or so vanished. She pulled away from me, grinning widely, and she stroked my cheek three times.

"Um, Amy?"

I bit back a grin. "Yes Abs?"

"Are you ever gonna try on your dress?"

"In a minute!"

Abigail let out a loud, exaggerated sigh and rolled her eyes. It was such an affected gesture, clearly lifted from a Disney Channel character. Mum was trying not to laugh.

"Beans on toast for dinner?" I suggested.

"Sounds like an excellent idea." Mum smiled.

"And then you'll try on the dress?"

"Of course Abs."

She hummed excitedly. The two of them left the room, delighted with themselves for their discovery. I paused briefly before taking my phone from my pocket I took a picture and sent it into the groupchat.

Tikal Pacha: Is that your dress?

Amy Rose: Yep!

Rouge Minella: STUNNING x

Cream Barony: Amyyyyy! It's going to look so good on you!

Maria Robotnik: - heart eyes emoji -

I smiled before sliding the phone back into my pocket and leaving the room. Ten minutes later Mum, Abigail, and I were squashed up together on the sofa, eating beans on toast and watching some sort of talent show on TV. Abigail rested her small form against my body and I realised how much I'd missed this. As much as I loved being out and about with everyone, as wonderful as it was to have a social life, I'd spent sixteen years with really nobody else but my family for company. It was hard to let that go. As Abigail buried her face into my shoulder, I realised that they'd missed me. So as much as part of me really wanted me to disappear into my room and keep texting the girls, I stayed to model the dress for Mum and Abigail. They clapped their hands together and showered me with compliments. Abigail eventually pulled on an old purple dress of hers so that we could take a turn at complimenting her.

Eventually Abigail started yawning and Mum saw the time and realised that she had to be at the hotel in nine hours, so they went to bed. I gently unzipped the dress and hung it up on my wardrobe. It didn't sit on the hanger properly so it swung backwards and forwards, like the pendulum of a clock. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that now sat on the windowsill as I unhooked my bra. It fell away from me, onto the floor, leaving me standing there in nothing but my underwear.

I stared at myself for a few seconds - my round breasts, my soft stomach, my green mascara-crusted eyes, the faint scars from years of acne, my hair that was in need of a wash. Unblinking I focused on the mirror itself, the wooden frame, the glass panel, until I lost sight of my reflection, until I disappeared through it. It was like my body wasn't real anymore, that none of me was real.

It was something that I thought a lot about. Disappearing. Sometimes I imagined that I was wading in the water. A vast expense of it, that stretched as far as my eyes could see. I had only been to the beach once, on a day-trip with my grandparents while mum was in hospital, and I couldn't really remember it, apart from how hot the sand was and how scared I was when I saw the waves crashing.

I wasn't scared now. I wasn't anything now, not even myself really.

I imagined myself walking through the water, going deeper and deeper as it submerged my feet, my knees, my hips, but no matter how far I went I couldn't get beyond the line. So I walked further into it, until it went past my chin, until my feet weren't able to touch the ground, until I was just floating, aimlessly, with nothing to tether me to the shore.  
A buzz from my phone pulled me out of my trance. I pulled an outsized t-shirt over my head and collapsed belly-down onto the bed where I'd left the phone. I had a message from Sonic. I opened it, expecting another video of Manic or a picture of his shoes accompanying a caption but was instead graced by a selfie of Sonic. It looked like he'd just finished out a work-out session, based on the grey tank top he was wearing and the faint sheen of sweat on his forehead. I could make out his arms - his arms. My fingers, suddenly clumsier than usual, accidentally tapped out of the picture and I lost it forever.

No no nooooo.

I dithered - would I risk replaying it? Did he get a notification if I did that? I didn't know and this wasn't the time to find out. That was a conversation I'd never recover from.

I sent him a snap in response, just the edge of my shoulder and the side of my head -

Ready for tomorrow?

The reply came in seconds. A picture in the same style as mine - just the edge of his head, one side of his body. I had another good view of his well-toned arm so … I wasn't really complaining.

For Homecoming or the race?

I giggled. God, I was so lame.

Either or.

A picture of his shoes.

Pumped. How about you?

A second, slightly blurrier photo of his shoes.

For Homecoming, just to clarify.

I was beyond nervous but I didn't want to seem it. In a moment of daring, I lifted my bare legs up from behind me, pointing my feet upwards in such a way that when I took another photo (another shot focusing on my shoulder) they were visible in the background. From this angle, in this lighting, you couldn't tell that I hadn't shaved or that they probably could have done with being a little more toned. They just made me look, I don't know, a little … cheeky. But in a nonchalant way. Like I sat around like this all the time.

Did I want him to think of me sitting around like this all the time? Did I want him to think of me like this, in an oversized t-shirt and exposed legs?

Or would he even notice? Just because I noticed how nice his arms looked, it didn't mean he'd notice anything about me. Especially with me being as touch-starved as I was, I mean even the way his shower-gel smelled was enough to send me reeling.

Nevertheless, I sent the picture.

It didn't have to mean anything.

Excited!

You got a dress then?

Yes!

What's it like?

I considered my response for a few seconds.

No spoilers.

Wow. Rip me.

It's just a dress!

Yeah but I feel invested! I was there when you couldn't choose one! I need closure!

You can see it at the dance!

I look forward to it

My heart was racing, so much so that I was practically shaking from the force of it. I wished that he wasn't joking, that he wasn't just being the playful nice guy …

Shouldn't you be asleep? Race tomorrow and everything?

You're right. I'll see you tomorrow.

Another snap. A picture of his face, easy-grin fixed in place, sending my heart on another round of intense palpitations.

Goodnight

Goodnight Ames.

Ames?

I dove under the covers, hugging myself tightly.

Ames.

_Ames!_

* * *

Sonic and the rest of the team team left school before lunchtime. I saw them crowding onto the bus to Knothole from Mr Pine's classroom window - Sonic at the head of the group, raking a hand through his quills, carrying Sally's water-bottle and quipping with a stony-faced Jet. It was a chilly November morning - the grass was very lightly dusted with silver frost - but in the second that I saw the group burst out laughing at something Sonic had said, I would happily have given up my seat in the warm classroom in order to be outside with them.

_You'll see him at the dance. You can talk to him then._

Still … it hurt that I hadn't even had the chance to wish him luck again this morning.

I could have gone up to him and said it and he'd have smiled at me and thanked me, asked how I was feeling about the dance - essentially the same conversation we'd had on Snapchat the night before, but it wasn't the same thing as actually being with him, hearing his voice, seeing his smile -

What was wrong with me?

I tried to put him out of my mind during lunchtime, talk about the dance with everyone else. The whole school seemed to be buzzing about it, though it was nothing like the hysteria I'd witnessed during my freshman year in Mobius. Fights over dates, the politics of pre-drinks parties, girls screaming into their phones over dress alterations. The discussion here seemed to be more focused on which takeaway people were getting food from afterwards, and what songs to put on the getting-ready playlist. The freshman trio were going to Cream's house to get ready. Rouge was hanging out with a couple of girls from her own grade. Blaze's neighbour was training to be a beautician so she'd offered to do Blaze up at her house tonight and get a few shots for her portfolio. Maria asked me to come over and get ready at her place. I remembered that only a week ago she was preparing to go with Shadow, so I agreed to meet her at the house at five. The dance was at seven.

I went straight home after school to collect my dress and saw a brown package with _Express Delivery_ stamped on top. I opened the box to uncover a pair of red flats in my size. There was a note-card next to them, with a message written in my mum's loopy handwriting.

_Don't say a word, they were on sale! Abigail staying with a friend this evening. Have a great night. Love Mum xxx_

I vowed to do something nice for her over the long weekend. I gathered up my supplies - the dress, the shoes, my small collection of make-up, a handful of jewellery- and made my way to Maria's house. It was a short walk. I knew the way from coming home after the sleepover. We got ready together while listening to a Lana Del Rey records, nibbling on cookies and drinking the tea her grandfather brought up for us. Maria did my hair, pulling most of it back in a fake pearl studded clasp she owned. I placed one of my silver bangles around my wrist and applied some silver eyeshadow to my eyes. My make-up looked good. I'd picked up a lot of tips and tricks from Rouge. I wasn't just awkwardly rubbing cream onto my face anymore, I was paying attention to my face and lips, what colours made my eyes pop and which ones would make them look small and squinty.

Maria was radiant in her green velvet dress. She'd kept her hair loose, as usual, but it was newly-washed and hung around her face like a sheet of gossamer. A long silver chain with an amber pendant hanging from her neck, and she borrowed one of my other silver bangles to accompany it.

"We match!" she beamed, jangling the bracelet on her slender wrist. She screwed up her face to assess the rest of my look.

"Do you want to borrow a jacket?" she asked. She pulled one out of her wardrobe - black denim with little silver buttons. I pulled it on me and smiled at my reflection. The dress, gorgeous as it was, looked a little old-fashioned and over-formal next to Maria's slinky number, even though I'd taken up the hem before school. The jacket made it look a little cooler, a little less dressy.

We debated the best way to put on perfume - spray it on key points of our body, or spray it in front of us and walk through the cloud? Both of us smelled divine by the time we were finished and we walked down the stairs into the living room, giggling all the while.

" _Pépère,_ " Maria said. "Will you take a picture of us?"

He asked us to pose by the fireplace while he brought out Maria's turquoise Instax. We arranged ourselves, straightening our backs and smiling. Maria wrapped her arm around my waist and turned inwards towards me. I posed in the same way, my photo-smile breaking away into a genuine grin.

There was a sound of a car pulling to a stop outside the house. We grabbed our clutches (I was borrowing an expensive Guess one belonging to Rouge) and ran outside, arms linked. My jaw dropped when I saw what was waiting for us.

"Is that a _limo?_ " I spluttered. It was a _small_ limo, not terribly over-the-top, but it was for all intents and purposes a limousine.

"It's a little extra, but shh just enjoy it!" Maria whispered. A little awed, I followed her into the narrow interior where Cream, Tikal, and Cosmo were squashed together on the black leather. There was no extravagant minibar or TV screen, but there was a small mini-fridge full of chocolate and fizzy drinks which Tikal was tucking into. They all looked beautiful in gauzy gold, bold orange print, and soft pastel blue. Tikal smiled at us when we came inside. Cosmo nodded, her leg jiggling nervously up and down. Cream didn't acknowledge us. She was staring at the darkened window.

"Good evening girls!" A familiar voice cooed, muffled behind the black screen. It lowered to reveal Ms Barony - Vanilla - sitting in the passenger seat, beside a large green crocodile with a black cap. He turned to look at us and smile. I spotted a picture of his face on a small card at the corner of the windscreen, with a logo for _Chaotix Limo Rental_ emblazoned on it.

"Good evening ladies." he said, tipping his hat. "Looking forward to the dance?"

"Yep!" Maria beamed.

"Help yourselves to some refreshments!" he said.

"I'm chaperoning tonight - I'm so excited that I'll get to be there for Cream's first highschool dance!" Vanilla gushed.

The journey to the school was short - barely lasting a song and a half, but Maria still managed to get at least fifty photographs of us all on her phone. Once we arrived at the school Vector opened the door for us and Vanilla, stepping out of the car in a flattering black cocktail dress, made us pose for some group shots. I smiled at the camera while watching everyone else arrive at the school, girls in pretty dresses and guys in suits with loosely knotted ties arriving by foot or by car (some indeed going the extra mile with a rented number).

"Have a great night!" Vector said. "I'll be back for you all at midnight."

We all thanked him for bringing us and walked towards the school. Vanilla hung back to talk to him - I glanced behind me to look at them and saw her laughing at something he'd said while he blushed, looking pleased with himself.

"That was really nice of him!" I said. Something flickered behind Cream's chocolate eyes.

"He's dating my mom." she told me.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. That's the only reason he did it. To get into my good books."

I didn't really know how to respond. Cream walked off a few steps in front of us, Cheese bobbing beside her. Cosmo and Tikal exchanged glances but didn't say anything as we joined the queue for tickets. Silver and Blaze were a few spaces ahead of us, deep in their own conversation. I smiled to myself though it faded quickly once I noticed Mina Gabrie's shock of lilac hair disappear into the building. I felt Maria tense up beside me but when I looked at her face she still had that same smile in place. I squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. I was going to be here for her tonight, as best as I could. Maybe if I supported her and stood by her, she'd finally feel ready to tell everyone the truth about her and Shadow. I knew that they were getting suspicious, especially Rouge.

Conversations started up around us. I found myself being included in them. Wave nodded at me as she passed me by. Nicole's eyes met mine as she chatted to her girlfriend, Fiona, and she saluted me. Freshmen smiled at me as they chatted to Cream, Tikal, and Cosmo. I made brief, albeit awkward eye contact with Elias Acorn. But even when I wasn't speaking, when I was just observing everything around me, I felt … fine.

After Sally's party a school-dance seemed like the opposite of a big deal. I handed over my $5 to the upperclassman at the table and we stepped inside the darkened gym hall. Taylor Swift and Brendon Urie were singing through the speakers. There were multi-coloured lights darting around the walls. Freshmen girls in too-formal dresses awkwardly danced with boys in suits that were too big for them while the Sophomores and Juniors stood at the corners, waiting until they decided it was cool to join in. The Seniors were already screaming and taking a million selfies to commemorate their last SSH Homecoming dance.

Silver waved us over from one side of the room. Blaze was sitting on the bleachers beside him, looking radiant in her midnight blue gown. Her hair was pulled back in a clasp and her make-up, while not over the top, brought out the sparkle in her eyes, which looked out at us from behind a new pair of glasses with slimmer frames than her old red pair. Her face looked more open now, without them dominating it.

"Blaze, you look gorgeous!" Maria exclaimed.

"So do you! You all look great. Amy, I love the dress."

"Didn't I say red was a good colour on her?" Rouge had appeared behind us, her chest practically bursting out of the sweetheart neckline of her magenta dress. She made a huge fuss of the freshman girls, complimenting their dresses and insisting on taking pictures with them.

Knuckles was a few feet away, talking to some boys I didn't recognise. I saw his violet eyes flicker over towards her, but he stayed where he was. There was a roar from the front of the hall and we turned to see that the track team had appeared from their pre-party at Sally's. I caught a glimpse of blue quills and quickly turned away, my chest suddenly feeling tight.

"I'm going to get some punch," Rouge announced, sauntering over to the snack table and helping herself to paper cup (petitioned by Tikal, Cosmo, and some other eco-savvy students) that was full to the brim with punch. She raised it to her lips and downed half of it in one go. She took a few steps away from the table, humming loudly along to Cake By The Ocean. Then, in a flash, she'd hitched her skirt up and pulled a small bottle of Smirnoff vodka out from underneath it. She'd fastened it to one of her tanned legs. She dumped a generous amount of it into her cup before transferring it into her clutch in one fluid motion.

"You're going to get us in trouble!" Cream's eyes darted around the room, as though she expected a task force of Vanilla and the other teachers to surround us at any second.

"Only if I get caught." Rouge winked. "I'd offer you guys some, but after Sally's party - "

"Yeah, I'm going to take it easy tonight." Tikal announced, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

"Okay Tikal, you got a little tipsy once. You can tone it down."

"Whatever," Tikal grumbled. Cream tittered nervously beside her. She was bouncing her leg up and down. Cosmo was smoothing down the creases in her dress and casting her eyes across the room to where Tails was standing with some freshman boys I didn't recognise - geeky looking guys with thick glasses and ill-fitting suits.

"Get in there, Cosmo." Rouge smiled, noticing where she was looking. "No way in hell he'll be able to resist you, looking like that."

"He was with me when I bought the dress, Rouge." Cosmo fidgeted some more with her skirt. "And anyway, it's not like that - "

As if on cue, Tails made his way towards us. He was wearing dress-pants and a white shirt, with a tie loosely draped around his neck. Cream let out a delighted squeak that she quickly masked as a cough. Cosmo looked mortified, clearly terrified that Tails had heard the conversation.

"You guys look great!" he announced, looking around at all of us. Was it my imagination or did his eyes linger on Cosmo for a beat longer than it did the rest of us?

"You look great too!" Cosmo blurted out. Maria nudged me conspiratorially. I bit back a smile. Subtle girl, subtle.

"So … do any of you wanna dance?" He addressed the three freshmen girls. "I don't wanna get up there by myself, and the guys are kind of hopeless."

"Um - I have to go to the bathroom!" Tikal grabbed Cream by the shoulder. "And Cream has to come with me!"

"Huh? Oh - oh yes!" Cream nodded. "We can't go alone!"

"I have literally never understood that about girls." Silver shook his head. Cream and Tikal practically sprinted across the dance floor together, leaving Tails facing Cosmo.

"What do ya say?"

"I thought that you had to discuss your project with Max and - "

"We already did! I'm all yours now!"

Cosmo blushed at his choice of words. I said a silent prayer that she'd seize the opportunity. Someone must have been looking out for me at that moment because she clapped her hands together and smiled. "Then I guess I'll have to take you up on your offer!"

The two of them spun around in the middle of the makeshift dance-floor. Rouge watched them for a couple of seconds, smirking, before grabbing Maria's hand and pulling her out as well. Silver excused himself to get a drink.

"How are you finding it so far?" I asked Blaze.

"It's … better than I thought it would be." Blaze admitted. She was tapping her foot lightly to the beat of the new Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello collaboration.

"And … how are things between you and Silver?"

She blushed, extremely prettily, her eyes fluttering down to the ground. I worried for a second that I'd overstepped, or touched a nerve, but I saw her mouth curl upwards into a smile.

"I just … really like spending time with him." she said. "It's just like how we've always been, but better."

"That's awesome!"

"We had a long discussion. He's been so supportive, so intent on making me feel comfortable … he really seems to care about me."

"Well, he loves you Blaze."

"I know." she paused. "Would it be ridiculous for me to say that I think I might love him too?"

"Blaze!" I jumped over and hugged her tightly. "That's so great! I'm really happy for you guys!"

"For who guys?" Silver asked, appearing at my side. He was carefully carrying three cups of punch in his hands.

"I was just saying what a cute couple you guys are." I smirked.

"Ah sheesh, don't make me regret getting you this." Silver said, blushing, as he handed me one of the cups. I sipped from it. Blaze stuck her tongue out.

"It takes like, three parts Vanilla Coke to one part of cranberry juice."

"It's an old SSH recipe." Silver said solemnly.

"I don't do Home Economics, but I think this recipe book needs updating." Blaze said, wrinkling up her nose. "I can see why Rouge spiked hers."

"Ah, it's not that bad!" Silver said. "Amy?"

"It's ehh, it's alright." I said. I took another sip. I was itching to go out onto the dance floor. Tikal and Cream had re-appeared, though they were doing their best to give Tails and Cosmo some space. Rouge and Knuckles were steadily making their way towards one another, all the while trying to act like they were ignoring each other. I could have gotten up and joined them if I'd wanted (and I was very aware that I was kind of third wheeling with Silver and Blaze), but I was trying to keep half an eye on Sonic. He was dancing with his teammates. He was wearing black dress-pants, a white shirt, and a black jacket. He looked really good.

Maria suddenly appeared beside me. I could immediately tell that something was wrong by the expression on her face.

"He's here."

"Who?"

"Shad-ow." Maria moaned. "I didn't think he'd come tonight - I really didn't, and I wasn't remotely prepared to see him here."

I sucked in my breath. "Okay. Let's figure this out - "

"Everyone's going to ask why we aren't together! Why would he do this?"

"Maria, it's alright - "

"But what do I do?"

"I'll tell you what you're going to do. You're going to get out there and dance with me and the girls. We'll make it out that you're treating tonight as a girls-night, so it won't matter that you're not with Shadow. People will just assume you're both just doing your own thing for now."

"But what if he tries to talk to me?" Her arms were crossed defensively around her torso.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

She considered it for a few seconds. She bit down hard on her lip that I was worried she'd draw blood.

"Let's dance, shall we?" she said, finally. She tossed her golden shower of hair back and plastered on a smile that I knew wasn't really genuine. In spite of that, I took her hand and pulled her onto the floor, joining the rest of the girls in singing _You Need To Calm Down,_ keeping my eyes on her the entire time.

* * *

"HAT DOWN, CROSS TOWN, LIVING LIKE A ROCKSTAR - "

"I am soooo sick of this song." Tikal muttered.

"It's not so bad." Tails yawned. Cream nodded in agreement.

We were crashed out on the bleachers, all of us bar Knuckles and Rouge who had long-since disappeared somewhere, and Silver and Blaze, who were standing together by one of the other walls. At a first glance they looked like any other pair of friends having a conversation, but if you looked closely you could see that they'd angled their bodies towards each other, their fingers gently pressed against each other, the way they oh-so-subtly blocked out everyone but themselves by the way they looked at each other.

It was cute. As was the way Cosmo had her head resting on Tails' shoulder.

We were tired out after dancing for so long. The music wasn't as good as it had been at Sally's party, possibly due to the fact that one of the Biology teachers was acting as our DJ, but that hadn't mattered to us as we'd sang along to all the songs, taking dozens of pictures, running on the sugar-high of the fizzy fruity punch and cupcakes. Maria looked happier now, albeit distracted. I watched the muticoloured disco lights dance on the wall behind her, feeling sweaty and thirsty.

I stood up and moved across the floor towards the refreshments table, awkwardly stepping by the crowds of screaming freshmen while trying to avoid the intimidating seniors. I hated being a sophomore, so caught in the middle of things.

"Amy - "

I didn't recognise the voice until I turned around and saw Shadow, dressed in a black shirt and dress pants, with a black denim jacket on top.

"Shadow?"

"I need to talk to you."

I stood there, waiting for him to say something, watching his Adam's apple bob up and down as he struggled to find the words. I wasn't sure how I should behave - be the dramatic best friend, throw a drink in his face, make a scene? Or should I give him a chance to talk? Because he was clearly here to talk about -

"It's Maria."

"What about her?"

"She won't talk to me."

"She saw you kissing someone else." I pointed out. Something flashed behind his eyes.

"I know. But we'd broken up."

"Yeah, like two hours beforehand."

He winced like I'd hit him. I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt. "Look hey no, I mean … I can see how it happens. Being upset and everything, looking for comfort. And I feel responsible because I told Maria to go and look for you - "

"I don't want to hear this." he cut across me, his voice suddenly hard. "I feel shitty enough."

"O-kay. Well. I don't know what you expect me to - "

"I don't want you to do anything about it." he said. "That's not what this is."

"Why did you even come tonight?" I asked. "Maria told me you weren't going to."

"I was worried about her."

"I get that, but can't you see that you being here - ?"

"No it's - it's about more than just what happened between us."

Someone bumped into me. A song I didn't recognise, something with a loud throbbing bass started playing. The lights flickered.

"Now is not the time to be having this conversation." I said, stepping away from him. "Look, I don't know what happened, or what the fight was about, but I know that you care about Maria. Which is why you need to give her some space."

"The fight was my fault." Shadow said, so softly that I almost didn't hear him. "I couldn't - I told her that I couldn't see it anymore. It was killing me. I was so fucking selfish."

"What - ?"

"Shad? Amy? What's going on?"

Rouge had pushed through the crowd to find us. Shadow didn't acknowledge her presence. He held my gaze for a few seconds before walking off. A chill ran down my spine.

"What's up with him?" Rouge asked. Her tone was level, but her wide eyed expression revealed that she was more concerned than she wanted to let on.

"You should … ask Maria." I sighed. "It would be best coming from her."

"Huh - ?"

I walked away from her, forgetting my thirst, and back towards Maria. I'd intended to take her aside, talk to her then and there but I stopped. She was back on the dance floor with the rest of the girls, Silver, and Tails, spinning around and singing at the top of her lungs. Her eyes met mine. They were sparkling like sapphires in the sunlight. She waved me over, inviting me back in to join the madness.

I paused for a second, my heart thumping. She looked so happy. Why upset her right now? I let a wave of giddy excitement washed over me as I leapt back into the fray.

* * *

I stepped outside into the cool night air. As the double doors swung shut behind me, muffling the music, I felt like I'd just paused a video game during a particularly crucial and challenging boss battle. I'd stepped outside of the action and now had time to gather my thoughts. My heart was racing, the music was still echoing in my ears, my belly ached from laughter. I was having a great time.

There wasn't anyone else outside. I took a few steps forward, pressing my hands against the cool steel of the outside railing. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

I thought back on all that had happened over the last month or so, particularly the last two parties. It was like I was someone else all of a sudden, but not in a bad way, not in a way that was uncomfortable. Consoling Maria, dancing with Cream and the freshmen, doing my make-up and taking selfies and talking fashion with all of the girls … it didn't feel like I was becoming someone else. It wasn't like I was stepping into someone else's clothes and pretending, like a kid playing dress-up. It felt like picking up an old favourite pair of jeans that you thought you'd grown out of, discarded or dumped, and being pleasantly surprised when you tried them on and realised how comfortable they were. It was like … this is who I really was, who I'd been all along, underneath the anxiety, the dissociative episodes where I went numb all over and could drift out to sea.

_You have to remember this. You have to always remember this feeling._

"Good night?"

My eyes flickered open. Sonic was leaning against the railing, having emerged from the school after me. I was suddenly hyper-aware of how cold it was. Goosebumps erupted over my arms and a shiver ran through me. I'd left Maria's jacket inside.

"You're cold."

"A little." I admitted. I waited for him to suggest that we head back inside, back to the action - the girls would come and sweep me back onto the dance floor, Sonic would be crowded by the rest of the track team, drunk from their victory (and the beers they'd undoubtedly downed at Sally's pre-party).

But he didn't say anything, but he frowned slightly and shrugged his own jacket off his shoulders. He held it out to me. "Here. Wear this."

I stared down at it. His jacket - he was offering me his jacket. I'd seen enough cheesy sitcoms and rom-coms to know what this usually meant …

"Oh no - that's okay."

_He's just being nice!_

"I'm serious! You're freezing!"

"But won't you be cold?" I didn't want him to be cold. I wanted him to be warm, safe, comfortable …

"Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself - you look like you're going to get frostbite."

"It's really fine."

"Come on - it wouldn't be very chivalrous of me to leave you like this."

"Chivalry is such an antiquated concept."

"Normally I'd agree, but my particular brand of it extends to guys as well as girls. I saved their asses during track today."

I usually found cockiness extremely off-putting but the glimmer in his eyes told me that he wasn't serious. I grinned at him and tentatively accepted his jacket. I pulled it around me. It was warm from being on his body and _it smelled like him_. I wanted to bury my face in the soft material and inhale it but just about managed to resist the temptation - something was clearly very wrong with me.

Maybe I needed a doctor.

"So, you're enjoying the dance then?" Sonic asked me.

"Uh-huh."

"Why are you out here then?"

"Oh, I just needed some fresh air. How about you?"

"Same." he paused. "Okay, full disclosure?"

"Okay …?"

"I saw you coming out here by yourself. I was a little worried, yanno? Wanted to make sure you were okay and everything.

I was glad that it was dark out, so he couldn't see me blushing. Some awful dubstep-techno type thing was playing from inside, filling the brief silence.

"That's really kind of you. Thanks."

"Don't mention it. I just kind of get the sense that you're not all that used to this sort of thing."

"You can say that again …" I hesitated briefly before continuing. "I was never really … popular at my old school. Or anywhere else really. It kind of went to my head. I sort of was - am - kinda socially awkward and get anxious about things."

"I see."

I couldn't believe how easy it was for me to say all of this. I felt like I could say absolutely anything to him - and that was absolutely terrifying. I quickly cleared my throat before continuing in a would-be-casual tone. "Are you sure that you don't need this?"

"Nah. I have good circulation from track. I'm basically always warm."

"Lucky." I pulled the jacket tighter around me, for reasons only slightly related to feeling cold. "I heard that the meet went well?"

"Yeah, we placed first."

"That's so great! I'm really happy for you!"

"You're sweet to say that."

"I mean it. You've been working really hard, training and everything …"

"Yeah … You know, we'll be taking a break from track until after Christmas now."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. But I still want to keep in shape and keep practicing and everything."

"Of course."

"So like, I was remembering the other day at school, when we sprinted on the track - and I was thinking it would make sense, if you wanted, for us to run together?"

"I … I don't think I'd be very good at it."

"I'm not going to force you. Just … I mean, like I said I find it helpful sometimes. And it seemed like you were finding it helpful too."

I considered what he'd said. I opened my mouth to say no because ew, exercise, sweating, making a fool of myself - making a fool of myself in front of Sonic. But then I remembered the cold air filling my lungs, the pounding of my heart in time with the pounding of my footsteps, the way I'd been able to throw caution to the wind and just let go of everything holding me back. Memories of my dad, of everything … and I found myself nodding.

"If you wanted you could come over tomorrow - we could work on our history project as well. It's probably about time we started on that.'

"Sounds good!"

"Awesome!" I could hear the grin in his voice. I found myself smiling back - it was that infectious.

Silence settled between us as we stared out onto the darkened street. It was eventually broken by the sound of Sonic clearing his throat.

"So - this is the famous dress?"

"Oh yes!"

"It's … it's really nice." his voice sounded a little strained.

"Thank you. It was my aunt's, actually. I just made some minor adjustments."

"It suits you. The uh, the colour. The shape. You look great."

"You're - "

"No like … really great."

I flickered my eyes towards him. His gaze felt heavy on me, concentrated. His eyes were fixed on me as though he'd never really seen me before.

I brushed a strand of hair from my face. "Perks of wearing make-up I guess!" My laughter came out a little too forcefully, at a pitch that was just a little too high. I felt warm all over. The air between us felt thick - too thick for November, too thick to be natural.

"Don't be like that. Like, from an objective perspective. You look …"

I turned to look at him, just as he took a sudden step towards me. I held my hands out reflexively, to soften the blow, and they ended up pressed against his chest. Our eyes met. His were wide and so-so green …

His head shifted slightly and for one wild moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I inhaled sharply and pulled my hands away, my eyes sinking back down to the ground.

"Wanna go back inside?" I asked.

"Sure thing."

He sounded normal enough, as casual as always. I couldn't see his face - I didn't want to look at it - but I could picture his easy smile, his hands stuffed in his pockets …

My own hands were trembling. My heart beating at such a rate that I could feel it shaking through my body. What was wrong with me?

We walked back inside the school, the music hitting us along with the smell of sweat. Just as I'd predicted, the track team crowded around Sonic, along with a load of other students. Everyone wanted to take pictures with him, congratulate him on the victory - track was the only competitive sport that SHHs had. They took it as seriously as other schools took their football.

"Catch you later, Amy." Sonic said, as he let himself be pulled away, laughing. I blinked, hard, feeling the beginnings of tears begin to form in my eyes. It was so so stupid … but he'd called me Ames over text last night. A cute nickname … Maybe it was no big deal, but the fact that he hadn't used it now - was he angry or annoyed with me? Had I done something wrong?

 _You were too obvious_.

I wanted to curl up in a ball. Because the truth was clear now - this infatuation, this affection was getting the better of me. I'd been putting it down to hormones, to my active imagination, to the fact that he was just a nice, good-looking guy and I was lonely ...

But I actually liked him. A lot, if the ache in my chest was anything to go by. So why did I pull away?

I wasn't sure. I just knew that in that brief moment, panic washed over me. It was ridiculous, after all the weeks I'd spent wanting to touch him, be close to him …

I still had his jacket around me. It was warm, and smelled like him, and if I let my mind wander I could imagine that his arms were around me. It was safer that way. Pretending that he was here, with me, instead of standing talking to Sally Acorn.

I watched them for a few seconds. My view was largely unobscured - a slower song was playing, and the dance floor had thinned out. I saw Silver and Blaze dancing together, their arms loosely, carefully around each other. Cream and Tikal were giggling in the corner. I saw Tails lead Cosmo out onto the floor, staring at her, his eyes shining. Maria and Rouge were nowhere to be seen - I wondered fleetingly if Rouge had asked her what was going on with Shadow. I hoped so. She'd undoubtedly provide better advice than I could.

I turned my attention back to Sonic and Sally. They weren't dancing, just standing near the refreshments table and talking. Sally looked lovely in her dress. I watched her closely, the way she held herself around Sonic … The way she listened intently to what he was saying, her blue eyes fixed on him ... one hand unconsciously toying with a strand of hair … her body and chest angled in such a way that it was like she was trying to shelter him from everyone else …

That's when it clicked. That's when I realised that I wasn't the only one who had feelings for Sonic.

 

 


End file.
